Christmas Creeps

Christmas Creeps

Christmas Creeps is your one stop shop for holiday madness all year round. Join hosts Joseph Wade, Johnny-5 and Mr. Bradford twice a month as they destroy holiday movies and TV shows in search of the true meaning of Christmas.

All Episodes

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Or rather, Happy T-Hanksgiving! This week we dig deep into the Tom Hanks-filled 2004 animated feature The Polar Express, which somehow manages to turn Chris Van Allsburg's 32-page book into a feature-length adventure full of magical train-hopping hobos, swing-dancing elves, and one kid's quest to continue believing in Santa at all costs. Our discussion takes some wild turns, from musing on the film's intended audience, to The Polar Express's influence on later animated features and video games (more than you'd think!), to postulating the existence of a Santa Claus multiverse. So hold onto your tickets and hop aboard, because this train's about to leave the station! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Join us on our Discord channel! Intro: The Loco-Motion (Kylie Minogue) Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Nov 25

1 hr 15 min

On this week's episode, we attempt to explain the weirdo madness of the 1985 Rankin/Bass special The Life & Adventures of Santa Claus! Based on a story by "Wizard of Oz" author L. Frank Baum, this special features a council of immortal wood nymphs, an army of invisible trolls, and an elf that may or may not have inspired a character from The Legend of Zelda. Oh, and somewhere in all that there's the origin story of Santa Claus. Also in this week's show, we take some time to sample a few new holiday libations, break down what it means to be a Christmas movie, and share our pitches for The Christmas Chronicles 3! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Join us on our Discord channel! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Nov 16

59 min 27 sec

We conclude Home For The Horrordays with James Wan's The Conjuring 2! Set against the chilly backdrop of Christmas, Conjuring 2 is based on the Enfield Poltergeist, a true haunting case from the late 1970s in which a ghost supposedly haunted a single mother and her four children living in the north of London. And joining us this week is our old pal Dr. Nick! Last heard on our Black Christmas episode, Nick returns to help us break down all the spooks, scares and general quackery going on here. Also this week, we taste test some disgusting holiday candy, Johnny-5 slams a Four Loko and, well... You can guess where things go from there... Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Join us on our Discord channel! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Oct 27

1 hr 10 min

The days are getting shorter... A chill is in the air... The smell of candy corn lingers... That can only mean one thing: It's time for HOME FOR THE HORRORDAYS! For this year's spookytimes, we're spotlighting a pair of holiday horror sequels. On this episode, our pal Stuart joins us to bear witness to the wanton police brutality of Maniac Cop 2! They thought they killed the zombie cop the first time around, but now he's back and he's making some new friends... Obviously, the idea of a maniac cop hits differently than it did in 1990. But that doesn't mean the film isn't without its pleasures. For one thing, there are some truly spectacular car chases and shootouts. Action hounds will be right at home here... Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Join us on our Discord channel! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Oct 12

49 min 56 sec

This week Bradford brings us an episode of the Viceland comedy series "Nirvanna The Band The Show". The episode, titled "The Bean", follows its stars' attempt to sneak a float into the Toronto Christmas parade as a means of promoting their rock band that may or may not actually exist. Christmas gags abound on this episode, including a surprisingly detailed homage to the finer points of Home Alone, and The Usual Suspects (for some reason). Meanwhile, our hosts reminisce about their own experiences with Christmas parades, holiday TV, and more! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Join us on our Discord channel! Intro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 Outro: NTBTS outro

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Sep 28

21 min 48 sec

Let's try that whole Dog Days of Summer thing again, huh? Santa Stole Our Dog! absolutely has a dog in it, and this time it might even be important to the plot! Why on earth would Santa steal someone's dog, anyway? Well friends, this is not the first time a little critter has followed Ed Asner home... And in order the tell the full story of Santa Stole Our Dog!, we receive a transmission from our sister podcast, The O/S/T Party, to suss out how the film managed to secure music from Dolly Parton. That ain't even the half of what makes this week's film so bizarre, so grab yourselves a cold one, buckle up, and join us on another wild ride to the North Pole... Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Join us on our Discord channel! Intro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 Outro: Night Court theme (Jack Elliot)

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Sep 7

1 hr 14 min

Welcome, dear listeners, to the Dog Days of Summer! The season is winding down, but it's hotter than ever out there, so what better time to stay indoors with a cool holiday treat featuring some cute little puppers? Well there's a problem... This week's film, 12 Christmas Wishes for My Dog, was sold to us as exactly the kind of holiday/dog shenanigans we usually watch this time of year. Instead, this film features dogs for roughly sixty seconds before ditching them for a story even the Hallmark Channel would call ridiculous. Also in this episode: the boys bag on J5 for drinking trash, the movie completely destroys Bradford's ability to do basic math, and we make more Butterfly Effect and Matrix references than any one Christmas podcast should make in an episode. Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 Outro: Silent Night (Mark Dauenhauer)

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Aug 24

1 hr 9 min

Happy Christmas in July, superfriends! You didn't think we'd be doing one, but guess what? We're doing one! And wow is this one a doozy... A Karate Christmas Miracle is one of those movies that defies explanation. A kid sets out to teach himself enough karate to reach black belt by Christmas in order for his missing father to come home after a yearlong absence. Why is he missing? Who is responsible? Why is the kid having psychic phone calls to The Karate Kid's Martin Kove? All of these are questions we asked ourselves while watching this baffling freight train to Nightmare City. Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Jul 23

1 hr 9 min

Welcome back, friends! We're officially halfway to Christmas, so we figured what better way to round the corner on 2021 than with some toasty, heartwarming Muppet goodness! A Muppet Family Christmas first aired in 1987 with a whole host of musical numbers, and due to copyright issues the special has appeared in a truncated form ever since. Unless you know where to look online... We dug up an original broadcast on YouTube, and that's what we're discussing today! So join us for a trip down memory lane as we discuss A Muppet Family Christmas, commercials and all! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Jun 29

48 min 14 sec

And now, we bring you the thrilling conclusion to the Let It Snow trilogy! This week's film is a romantic comedy from the late 90s, when indie cinema was all the rage and bucking Hollywood trends was a surefire way to get yourself noticed! That's a fancy way of saying this movie doesn't know what the hell its doing. James and Sarah meet on a snow day in high school. His family is unlucky in love; she has too many quirks for her own good. Neither person comes across as especially dateable, but nevertheless a romance ensues. The will they/won't they dynamic flies off the rails almost immediately, leading to a series of extremely poor decisions for everyone involved. But it's okay, because people do stupid things for love, right? RIIIIIIGHT????? Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 Outro: Let It Snow (Michael Buble)

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Jun 15

1 hr 3 min

Memorial Day has come and gone! Summer is unofficially here! It's freakin' hot outside! Since we're all sweating our butts off, we decided one good Let It Snow deserved another. That's right, this week we're discussing another film titled Let It Snow. This one is a horror film out of Ukraine, about a pair of dumb American tourists who find themselves stranded on a ski slope with a madman on a snowmobile hot on their trail. You know how these things go... Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Jun 1

51 min 36 sec

We're finally back in the saddle this week with a Christmas movie that made all of us feel extremely old. It's the Netflix original film Let It Snow, which follows three sets of teens on Christmas Eve, each in search of love in one form or another. Naturally, all of these stories converge, and we have a real Love, Actually situation on our hands. This one actually turns out to be a pretty open and shut case for us. It is exactly the film that you think it is, but that doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. So hop on in and join us as we beg for some snow! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 Outro: Let It Snow (Michael Buble)

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May 11

49 min 7 sec

Last year, in the middle of COVID lockdown, Joe and Bradford got good and drunk one night and recorded three episodes of a brand new podcast all about The Adventures of Pete & Pete. What you're about to hear is the first episode, in which we discuss Season 1, Episode 1: "King of the Road". Topics of discussion include: Our own adventures at the Hoover Dam, our first encounters with the internet, the storied career of Toby Huss, Wellsville and the End of History, and whether or not we would return to the 90s if given the opportunity. Enjoy this episode? Wanna hear more? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsLet us know what you think! Intro/Outro: Polaris' "Hey Sandy", performed by yours truly!

Apr 13

44 min 7 sec

This week we remember the late, great Christopher Plummer with a look at the 1978 heist thriller The Silent Partner. Plummer plays a bank robber disguised as a mall Santa; Elliot Gould plays the bank teller who sees him coming and pulls a heist of his own. The cat and mouse game that ensues is as chilling as it is entertaining. Also in this episode, we try to figure out why kids in this movie sing "Away in a Manger" wrong, ponder how to spend $48000 in the most boring white bread ways imaginable, and come to terms with the fact that both Gould and Plummer were undeniable smokeshows in their day.  Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Feb 16

1 hr 6 min

Kurt Russell is back as everyone's favorite Santa for another wacky holiday adventure! It's Christmas Chronicles 2, a film that opens up the world of Santa and the North Pole, but in the process squanders practically everything that made the first film so charming.  Also in this episode, we get into the proliferation of the dead parent trope, the further retreading of Chris Columbus' filmography, and the inevitable Christmas Chronicles/Fast & Furious crossover we all know is coming. We then attempt to completely rewrite this series, because we're desperate for fun around here... Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Jan 27

55 min 6 sec

Happy New Year, everyone! We're back in the saddle after a long winter's nap, and after this week's episode we may be rethinking that... This week we unravel the baffling existence of Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa! This computer-animated special aired in 2002 on the now-defunct WB channel. It was lost to history for years until internet sleuths dug it up and rescued it from obscurity. Rapsittie Street Kids tests the limits of what can rightly be called animation. With real Hollywood voice talent and a handful of musical numbers, there's no denying the effort, but...well, you have to see it to believe it! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Jan 13

50 min 26 sec

Merry Christmas to one and all! The big day is finally here! This time every year, we like to celebrate July At Christmas with an obnoxiously patriotic action film! This year, we're dipping back into one of our favorite series with Live Free or Die Hard! It's a Die Hard! It's a 4th of July movie! It's got everything! Okay, so maybe that last part isn't true. It's fun enough for a Die Hard movie, but this episode also gives us a chance to discuss a handful of other topics, including Christmas movie titles from around the world, the state of the internet in 2007, and how on earth a bunch of super-nerds never noticed giant C-4 bricks in their fancy Alienware computers... Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 Outro: Die Hard (Guyz Nite)

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Dec 2020

1 hr 30 min

The twinkling of tiny LED Christmas lights can only mean one thing: The holiday season is officially upon us. That means home cooked meals and dysfunctional family visits and traumatic memories suppressed with copious amounts of egg nog. With that in mind, this week's episode is about all of those things! On this episode we're talking about the 2004 holiday stinker Surviving Christmas. Ben Affleck is back as a miserable ad executive who pays the family living in his childhood home a large sum of money to pretend to be his family for Christmas. He desperately mugs his way through 90 minutes of tired Christmas jokes hoping that at least one person out there will laugh. By the end of it all we find ourselves reminiscing about old episodes of Doug and wishing Ben Affleck had played ALF. Literally anything to stave off the the boredom of having to talk about Surviving Christmas. Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 Outro: O Christmas Tree (Ben Affleck, James Gandolfini)

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Dec 2020

1 hr 8 min

Welcome to our fourth annual Shane Black Friday, celebrating the works of writer/director Shane Black! On this year's edition, our pal Libby Cudmore returns to help us figure out why the hell we decided to watch the 1991 Bruce Willis/Damon Wayans actionfest The Last Boy Scout. Buckle up, because this episode is absolute chaos. The Last Boy Scout has almost nothing to do with Christmas. We discuss the inclusion of "Satan Claus", and whether or not "family" is enough of a case to call this thing Christmasy. We also inflict some truly gross holiday foods upon ourselves, so hopefully the Christmas spirit is alive and well in one of us at the end of this ordeal. Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro: Friday Night's A Great Night For Football (Bill Medley) Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Nov 2020

1 hr 11 min

This week we're joined by filmmakers Jake Horowitz and Andy Lewis to discuss the Rankin/Bass animated classic Frosty The Snowman! Jake and Andy are the co-writers (and Jake the director) of the new holiday comedy Cup of Cheer! If you're a fan of the cozy, familiar Christmas movies that flood cable TV every holiday season, or even if you're not, then Cup of Cheer will be right up your alley. It's a big, goofy parody of the genre in the tradition of Airplane!, only with loads more Christmas trees and snow and awkward small-town romance. On this episode we sit down with Jake and Andy to discuss the inspiration for their film, as well as some of their childhood favorites. This leads into a discussion of Frosty The Snowman and its place in the greater Rankin/Bass Cinematic Universe! Cup of Cheer is now available to stream on Tubi! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Nov 2020

40 min 7 sec

Home for the Horrordays continues! Released in 1980, Christmas Evil was sold to cash in on the success of Halloween and Friday the 13th. While it bears many of the hallmarks of a typical 80s slasher film, what sets this one apart is how deeply we come to understand its main character, Harry. He's a disturbed individual, and we watch as he makes preparations to become his town's Santa Claus, delivering toys to good children, and dishing out pain to the naughty. And as we find out in this week's episode, it works more often than it doesn't! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Oct 2020

1 hr 2 min

Welcome to October, the season of falling leaves, pumpkin spiced everything and also a little thing called HOME FOR THE HORRORDAYS! We're kicking things off with Santa's Slay! This film is notorious for it's opening scene, in which a whole host of C-list celebrities get brutally murdered. The rest of Santa's Slay follows Bill Goldberg's Santa as he terrorizes a small town and the two wayward teens tasked with ending his reign of terror once and for all. Or at least until midnight on Christmas Day. It's completely arbitrary and none of the rules actually matter, but as we discover, the film is 100% aware of this. Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Oct 2020

1 hr

Happy Fall to one and all! Just as we bid farewell to another summer, so too must we leave behind the works of Tim Allen. On this episode, we round out the Santa Clause trilogy with a discussion of The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause. Join us as we ponder the hard questions of the Santa Clause universe: How strictly must one abide by the rules of the Clause? Does this film's version of time travel make any sense at all? What is up with all the gender reveal parties? Oh yeah, and what the hell happened to Bernard??? Anyway, this film raises far more questions than it could ever possibly answer, and on top of everything else we've got Martin Short running around as the living embodiment of 2020. So that's great. Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 Outro: Wild, Wild West (The Escape Club)

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Sep 2020

1 hr 13 min

Three years ago, we recorded an episode on The Santa Clause 2, and then immediately lost it the sands of time. This week we decided it was finally time to finish what we started. Santa Clause 2 is the definition of inessential, but is startlingly prescient in the way it depicts the rise of a fascist regime, and also how a fading 90s star can cling to fame with a vice grip well into the 2000s. Also in this episode, we compare this film to another early-2000s blockbuster sequel, and Bradford discovers the worst Etsy listing on the entire internet. All in a day's work for Christmas Creeps! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Sep 2020

1 hr 9 min

On this episode, we spotlight a film we've been trying to get our hands on for a couple years now. It's 36:15 Code Pere Noel, also known as Dial Code Santa Claus, or Deadly Games depending on where you find it. There is a case to be made that John Hughes stole many of his ideas for Home Alone from this film. Even if the similarities are just coincidence, this is still an absolute brainmelter from start to finish. We'll break down all the gory details, all the Home Alone similarities, and all the killer Santa motifs right here. We also get into the Minitel computer system, The Adventures of Milo and Otis for some reason, and oh so many video game detours. Don't miss it! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Aug 2020

1 hr 23 min

With our 100th episode behind us, it's time to get back to business. This week's show is all about Puppy Star Christmas. Not only is this part four in the Pup Star series, but it's also the eighteenth installment in the inexplicably extant Air Bud franchise. And if that's not enough, this is specifically a spin-off of the original Santa Buddies. If none of that makes any sense, don't worry, we'll lay it all out for you. But because this film almost willfully ignores its own plot, we're forced to discuss everything from the superiority of foreign potato chip flavors, to whether or not the TV show CHiPS had any Christmas episodes, to the short history of people squatting on web domains for large corporations. It's a living. Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Aug 2020

1 hr 21 min

Happy 100 episodes, everybody! We finally made it! To celebrate, we're pulling out one of the Big Guns and dedicating an entire episode to the 2003 Will Ferrell comedy ELF! You know the story: Buddy is a human raised by Santa's elves, who journeys to New York City to meet his biological father and hopefully rescue him from Santa's naughty list. Within that framework is a whole lot for us to explore, and in this episode we attempt to discuss it all. Everything from the forever problematic "Baby It's Cold Outside", to the lasting impact of director Jon Favreau, to the existence of the very bizarre Elf Game Boy game. And we even take some time out to answer a few listener questions! So buckle up, because this episode goes all over the map! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Jul 2020

1 hr 58 min

Episode 100 is just around the corner, and the only thing standing in our way is one final Christmas Shoes film. Join us this week as we endure The Christmas Hope, part three in a trilogy that, believe it or not, actually has some semblance of continuity. Sure, the kid from the original film is all grown up now, and played by Sharknado's Ian Ziering instead of Neil Patrick Harris. Sure, the titular shoes don't actually appear in this film, replaced with a mystery box that even JJ Abrams would laugh at. And sure, we may be expecting too much out of a series that relies on manufacturing tragedies harder than Final Destination. But it's time to put this series to bed once and for all. Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Jun 2020

1 hr 9 min

Five years ago we forced ourselves to watch and discuss The Christmas Shoes. Y'know, the TV movie based on the book based on the song based on an email chain about a little boy who buys his mom a pair of shoes right before she dies? It was brutal stuff, and when we learned there were sequels, we decided we weren't nearly desperate or drunk enough to even think about touching those. Well today is that day! On this week's episode, we're discussing The Christmas Blessing, the 2005 sequel to Christmas Shoes. Neil Patrick Harris stars as the kid from the original all grown up. 20 years later he returns to his hometown to find himself, finds love along the way, but wouldn't ya know it? The shoes reappear and the specter of death returns! It's a whirlwind of pain, grief and anger. And the movie is pretty rough too. Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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May 2020

1 hr 4 min

It feels good to be back in the saddle talking about Christmas movies! This week we're talking about the 2018 adaptation of Dr. Seuss' "How The Grinch Stole Christmas," simply titled The Grinch. Produced by Illumination Studios (the house that Minions built), this film currently holds the title of Highest Grossing Christmas Film Ever. Home Alone held that title for 28 years until the right cartoon came out at the right time of year... But that doesn't mean there isn't plenty to discuss! In this episode we compare this film to the 2000 live-action abomination, question the need for licensing so many Christmas songs for five seconds apiece, and ponder the need to cast Benedict Cumberbatch to voice The Grinch. Come join us! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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May 2020

1 hr 10 min

On this episode, we're discussing Animal Crossing: New Horizons. The whole gang has gathered on Jonathan & Karen's island to chat about island infrastructure, quirky animal neighbors, the fact that everyone hated Bunny Day, the creeping terror of tarantulas, and more! (That's right, it's a whole hour dedicated to video game chat. Sorry not sorry.) Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro: Animal Crossing: New Horizons Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Apr 2020

1 hr 15 min

As the quarantine continues, so too does our mission to keep ourselves sane! Once again, Joe & Bradford bring you some fun home cuisine tips. Last week we discussed how to make your own cold brew coffee. This week, Bradford details how to make your own bread at home! If you have any suggestions or requests for how-to guides from us weirdos, feel free to shoot those over to us, and we'll see what we can do! We're here to entertain, and we've got nothing but time on our hands... Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro: Bread and Butter (Devo) Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Apr 2020

22 min 47 sec

This week we're taking a break to discuss something a little closer to home. If you're anything like us, you're trying to limit your retail interactions to the barest of necessities. That sometimes means cutting out your morning coffee runs. I know, I hate it too. But these are strange times and it's for the greater good. Anywho, on this week's episode, Bradford returns from podcast paternity leave to teach Joe the ins and outs of making your own cold brew coffee at home! So pour yourself a cup and come join us for Coffee Creeps! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro: The Coffee Song (Frank Sinatra) Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Mar 2020

28 min 32 sec

With everyone on lockdown right now thanks to COVID-19, we decided to stretch outside our comfort zone a bit and discuss a movie more relevant to current events. Crossing a couple of the obvious ones off the list, we finally landed on George A. Romero's 1973 cult classic THE CRAZIES! Can our plucky band of survivors escape a town overrun by a deadly virus and also faceless military goons? Can top scientists create a vaccine before the president decides to nuke the entire town? Could there possibly have been a more stressful film for us to watch right now??? Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro: Anthrax's Among The Living, by yours truly! Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Mar 2020

1 hr 6 min

Winter has finally arrived in our little pocket of the world, friends, and so on this episode we dive into the Rankin/Bass tale of Jack Frost! There are many Jack Frosts in the world, and this is the only one that features steampunk horses, climate-induced poverty, and a knight of King Arthur's Round Table who has a summer cottage somewhere on the Eurasian Steppe. This is a very...strange cartoon. So strange, in fact, that Jack Frost clearly wasn't cool enough to carry this thing on his own, so they introduced a groundhog voiced by Buddy Hackett. That's right! Star of Disney's The Love Bug Buddy Hackett!! Wow! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Feb 2020

42 min 35 sec

It's February, and by now you've probably accumulated a fair number of Christmas cards that you've either stashed or trashed. And that's what we want to talk about today, with "The Pick", the first of Seinfeld's two holiday episodes. "The Pick" finds Elaine agonizing over a Christmas card that features some unfortunate nudity, among other subplots that have little-to-nothing at all to do with Christmas.  ...Listen, we really just wanted to talk about Seinfeld this week, alright? Also this episode eventually veers into King of the Hill chat, and the subject of Hank Hill's plumbing. You've been warned. Anywho, we'll be back with a regular episode before you know it! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 Outro: "Did You See That Seinfeld Last Night?" - Viva Variety  

Feb 2020

25 min 51 sec

Welcome to season six of Christmas Creeps!  Niall Flanagan and Dwayne Moloney, cohosts of the Secret of the Sailor Madness podcast, join us once again to discuss the handmade charms of the Netflix original film Klaus! The film tells the story of Jesper, a young postal worker sent to the farthest reaches of Scandinavia. With the help of a reclusive toymaker named Klaus, Jesper accidentally gives birth to the Yuletide legend of Santa Claus. The film was even nominated for an Academy Award for Best Animated Feature, so consider this our 2020 Oscar Special! So sit back, grab yourself one of those leftover Christmas beers, and join us as we break down Klaus! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Jan 2020

1 hr 9 min

Merry Christmas! It's time once again for our annual "July at Christmas" episode, where we take a break from Christmas to discuss something equally near and dear to our hearts: Obnoxious jingoism! Also video games! Inspired by our discussion of Four Christmases, this year we turn our attention to one of our favorite sports documentaries. The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters isn't just a film about competitive Donkey Kong. It examines what drives and obsesses men to lie, cheat and con their way to victory. Billy Mitchell can cling to a high score for twenty years through sheer cult of personality, but what happens when Steve Wiebe, a legitimate contender, emerges to challenge his record? How far will one clique go to keep potential newcomers away? And how can such an attitude rot a community from the inside out? Join us as we discuss these questions and more! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing (Bad Religion) Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Dec 2019

1 hr 3 min

Happy December to one and all! This week, we present to you a Stocking Stuffer we recorded back in August. J5 went digging around the Lost Media Wiki and turned up Cranberry Christmas! Sponsored and produced by the Ocean Spray cranberry juice company, this animated special features songs and narration from the one and only Barry Manilow! To our knowledge it has aired only once, and as this podcast bears out, there is probably a very good reason why. Enjoy! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Dec 2019

47 min 26 sec

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone, and that can only mean one thing... It's time for our third annual Shane Black Friday! Libby Cudmore joins us to help navigate all the bizarre twists and turns of Renny Harlin's 1996 action yarn The Long Kiss Goodnight. National treasure Geena Davis plays a recovering amnesiac who suddenly, violently discovers her former life as a trained assassin, and Samuel L. Jackson plays the low-rent detective helping her get to the bottom of things. There are explosions and gunfights and it's all very silly. Also it's a Christmas movie. Shane Black wrote this, so of course it's a Christmas movie! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Nov 2019

1 hr 1 min

This one has been a long time coming. Our celebration of all things Bob Clark—known around these parts as CLARKSGIVING—comes to an end with perhaps the greatest Christmas movie of them all: A CHRISTMAS STORY! Our friends Booker and Jessie join us for a discussion of one of the true kings of holiday cinema. The adventures of Ralphie Parker and his quest for that elusive Red Ryder BB gun have become an American institution in the form of TV marathons, museums and, yes, a cash-in sequel or three. But what makes this film endure where so many other wannabe Christmas classics simply don't? When exactly does the film take place? Who would want to live down the street from that house? We dig into all of that and more! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Nov 2019

1 hr 17 min

Happy November, friends! It's time to pack up Home for the Horrordays for another year. But fret not, because we have one last bit of horror goodness up our sleeves. Ten years before A Christmas Story, Bob Clark directed a little horror movie called Black Christmas, which would inspire slasher cinema for decades to come. Halloween, My Bloody Valentine, Scream and countless others owe some sort of debt to Black Christmas. And with a brand new remake on the horizon, we thought it would be fun to dedicate an entire month to the Christmas offerings of Bob Clark. Welcome to CLARKSGIVING! This week, our pal and horror expert Dr. Nick drops by to discuss all things Black Christmas, and why this film deserves its reputation as a bona fide horror classic! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Nov 2019

1 hr 13 min

It's everyone's favorite time of year! No, it's not Christmas just yet. It's time to go Home for the HorrorDays!  This week, we're revisiting the saga of the Caldwell family with Silent Night Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out! Somehow, Ricky "Santa Claus Killer" Caldwell survived the last film, and what's he got to show for it? Oh nothing much, just his EXPOSED BRAIN IN A JAR WHERE HIS SKULL USED TO BE. No biggie. This film also features a blind psychic who can sense Ricky's thoughts, and somehow never manages to do anything interesting with that. For real, SNDN3 is kinda the pits. Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Oct 2019

44 min 40 sec

It's finally here! We conclude Vaughn-a-thon this week with Vince Vaughn's other holiday offering: The $100 million comedy spectacle Fred Claus! What happens when St. Nick's deadbeat brother Fred gets arrested for grifting money away from Salvation Army Santas? Nick bails him out on the condition that he come work for him at the North Pole. And then there are some shenanigans involving Kevin Spacey. Yes, it's all very unpleasant. Anywho, also in this week's episode, Joe breaks out some Fred Claus marketing material, Brad gives the Santa Talk to his dog Charles, and we ponder the difference between Santa Claus and his clan and your average pack of vampires. Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsFor show notes, visit us at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Sep 2019

1 hr 15 min

Welcome to Vaughn-a-thon! This month we're highlighting the two holiday features produced by and starring Vince Vaughn. We kick things off with Four Christmases, which we assumed would be the lesser of two evils. We assumed wrong. From the sheer volume of A-list stars with nothing to do, to the film's weirdly antagonistic tone, to the way it forces regressive notions about family upon a couple with more modern sensibilities, Four Christmases is a dire experience all the way around! Also in this episode we discuss Freeform's Halloween TV schedule, ponder how seasonal creep operates in the Southern hemisphere, and Joe and Bradford gets a chance to gush about one of their favorite films! Check it out! (NB: Movie chat begins at 23:50) Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsFor show notes, visit us at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Sep 2019

1 hr 29 min

Summer is winding down, and since we've been in the superhero mood lately, we thought it would be fun to look at a film from earlier this summer. Shazam! not only takes place around the holidays, but makes particularly good use of it in service of its themes of family and togetherness. It's also a pretty damn fun movie, with a positive streak a mile wide. Why would a studio produce a movie set at Christmas, only to turn around and release it in April? Why would a wizard tell anyone they weren't worthy of magic directly to their face? Why does one of the monsters in this movie strongly resemble Venom? We get into all of that and more! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsFor show notes, visit us at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 Outro: Freakazoid! End Credits Theme (Richard Stone)

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Aug 2019

1 hr 5 min

Happy August, everybody! Have you spotted any signs of Christmas Creep out and about? It'll be here before you know it! Anywho, on this week's show, Joe & Johnny-5 take a look at "Christmas with the Joker", the first of two holiday episodes produced for Batman: The Animated Series! Batman and Robin's quiet Christmas Eve is interrupted by The Joker, who's kidnapped Commissioner Gordon and set up all sorts of holiday havoc. Where did "Jingle Bells, Batman Smells" come from? What did Batman think of It's A Wonderful Life? What is it about Batman that always seems to work so well with Christmas? Just a few of the questions raised in this episode. Come join us! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Aug 2019

40 min 24 sec

Every once in a while you hit a brick wall, and your only options are to give up or to power straight through it. That's the situation we found ourselves in this week, as we finally subjected ourselves to the astoundingly brain-dead children's comedy SANTA WITH MUSCLES. Hulk Hogan basically plays himself as a do-gooder fitness guru who gets conked on the head just hard enough to believe he's Santa Claus while defending a beleaguered orphanage from a wacky mad scientist played by Ed Begley, Jr. That is the saddest sentence I have ever written. Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsFor show notes, visit us at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Jul 2019

1 hr 4 min

It's six months til Christmas, the 4th of July is right around the corner, so what better time to discuss a Jaws movie?! Jaws: The Revenge, to be specific, the movie that IMDb's users have declared the 27th worst movie ever made. It's also the one Jaws movie that actually takes place around the holidays, so like it or not, here we come! Also in this episode, the guys take a stab at writing their own Jaws sequel, Joe and Bradford actually learn something about foreign culture from this movie, and a Winnie The Pooh meme short circuits J-5's brain... Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsFor show notes, visit us at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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Jun 2019

1 hr

With a brand new X-Men film currently in theaters, Joe & J-5 take it upon themselves to discuss "Have Yourself a Morlock Little X-Mas," the Christmas episode from season 4 of X-Men: The Animated Series. The Morlocks have lured the X-Men into their lair in the hopes of delivering an X-Mas miracle. Can Jubilee, Wolverine and Storm save a young mutant's life and get back home in time for Gambit's X-Mas dinner? In 22 minutes, you'd better believe it! Also in this episode, Joe waxes on about Dark Phoenix, the guys commiserate about the state of streaming television, and what constitutes a miracle in a world where everyone has mutant powers. Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Jun 2019

35 min 58 sec