Transforming Relationship with Emotional Savvy

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Your go-to source for life-changing shifts in how you think about --and create relationship with--yourself and other humans. Discover new options for building the strength, assertiveness, resilience, boundaries, and balance needed to develop healthier relationships, ones based on equality, reciprocity, and mutuality. Listening to these in-depth discussions with expert guests on a broad range of relationship topics can open your eyes, heart, and mind to new possibilities for creating the healthy, emotionally intimate relationship you want at home, and the clear, assertive one you need at work.Follow on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Emotional-Savvy-The-Relationship-Help-Show-2309873335890968/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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Wow! I was so prepared to ask tough questions of my guest, Dr. Will Horton, because I found some of the claims he made sounded outrageous to me. Really? And, I asked those tough questions about addiction, recovery, pain, and shame...and more! When I read one of his book titles, my antennae went up: "How to Get Others to Do What You Want and Have Them Think It was Their Idea" Oh, no! That sounds so manipulative and under-handed, right? That's why I called this episode "Contrary Ways." He is a master at making outrageous statements and then backing them up with reason, logic and science. You'll see as you listen. You might not agree but it will make you think! We talked about how the body never forgets and the body keeps the score because trauma is encoded. So, what does he say you can do about it? Listen in! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>>>> AND, Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you.ARE YOU--OR, HAVE YOU BEEN--IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER, EX, PARENT, OR SIBLING?Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the ongoing insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships. All safely off social media, too!___________________________________HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Answers to...What does Dr. Will mean when he says "how to get others to do what you want and have them think it was their idea?"Why was reading Psychocybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz a turning point for him? (It was for me, too!)Why does Dr. Will Horton think everything is persuasion?What horrible and astounding fact does he share about the Heaven's Gate cult?Why is Dr. Will an ardent twelve-stepper? Why does shame keep a person in a toxic relationship?What about genetics and predisposition in addictions?How can you help an addicted person? Can you? GUEST: DR. WILL HORTONDr. William D. Horton, Psy.D, CADC, CI, MH, is the world’s Leading Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) Trainer, and a top hypnosis trainer. He is also a Licensed Psychologist, Certified Master Alcohol and Drug Counselor, and Master Hypnotist TrainerDr. Horton was one of the few non-law enforcement people asked to attend the FBI Crisis/Hostage Negotiation Course at the FBI Academy.Dr. Horton’s passion for NLP and Hypnosis come from personal experience. Not only has he used NLP and Hypnosis to overcome alcohol addiction, he’s also used these techniques to win numerous karate tournaments and work as an actor in film, and stage.He has dedicated his life to advancing training and education in the mind sciences, especially for those suffering from addictions.Dr. William D. Horton has run in-patient and out-patient Substance Abuse treatment centers as well as Psych Units in prisons.Dr. William D. Horton has taught people all over the world the skills of NLP, Hypnosis, Performance Enhancement, and the Art of Business Communication. He is the founder of NFNLP, the National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming and the creator of several best selling home study courses on NLP and Hypnosis. A prolific writer, Dr. Horton’s articles on NLP and Hypnosis are regularly featured in “The Journal of Hypnotism,” the country’s largest hypnosis publication. His articles are considered a must-read in the field of hypnosis and psychology. His NLP and Hypnosis courses and workbooks have won acclaim for their easy-to-understand format.Dr. William D. Horton has won more awards in the field of hypnosis and NLP from independent organizations than anyone.FREE GIFT FROM DR. WILL :Look for it on his website: Quantum Psychology: There is More to You Than Meets the EyeDrWillHorton.com CONTACT INFO FOR DR. WILL HORTON:Website: JordanGoldrich.comPodcasts: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dr-will-horton/id1252773200LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/in/drwillhorton/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Alcoholandaddictionsolution/?modal=admin_todo_tourInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/drwillhorton/?hl=en Twitter: https://twitter.com/docnlpYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWLdEYoS9z9XV8k05T8Ar4w/CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpWant my help? New client's one-hour introductory session only $97WANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy course via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#drwillhorton #secretcults #manipulativepeople #playingmindgames #overcomingaddiction #HeavensGate #traumaencoded #NLP #neurolinguisticprogramming #relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #toxicrelationships #narcissisticabuse#difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #difficultconversations #workplacerelationships #relationshipadvice #toxicrelationshipadvice See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Feb 2020

38 min 10 sec

Do you feel like a warrior when you go to work? Do you feel like you MUST be a warrior?Warriors are tough. Is that a necessity for getting people to work together and produce desired results?My conversation with Jordan Goldrich, author of Workplace Warrior, had some surprises. The subtitle of his book is "People Skills for the No B.S. Executive." He immediately brought up the word, abrasive, to describe many leaders. Not a surprise! Sometimes people think they have to be tough, competitive, and yes, abrasive in order to be seen as a leader. Often, that backfires!If you're going to be successful at work, you have to create a workplace that people are not afraid to go to. So, how does a leader create the desired balance?Two big pieces of advice from Jordan:"You have to show respect and compassion to others. Talk to them like they are human beings...because they are.""Acknowledge and apologize for your past behavior." That's where his seven steps to an apology come in.Great insights for leaders who want to be better, leaders who need people skills!Excellent information for everyone who goes to a workplace every day.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>>>> AND, Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you.ARE YOU--OR, HAVE YOU BEEN--IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER, EX, PARENT, OR SIBLING?Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the ongoing insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships. All safely off social media, too!___________________________________HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Answers to...Why do we need a war metaphor for this?Why do workplace leaders think they have to aggressive?What's the difference between what he calls "straight talk," and having no filters?What makes leaders abrasive?How can leaders and would-be leaders learn to be assertive without being degrading or demanding?Why is it that abrasive executives are often overly-protected?What are his seven steps to making an apology? GUEST: Jordan GoldrichJordan Goldrich partners with executives to drive results without damanaging relationships. He is the co-author of the newly published book, "Workplace Warrior: People Skills For The No BS Executive." He is a Chief Operations Officer, Master Corporate Executive Moach (MCEC), Professional Certified Coach (PCC) and California Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW.) He is partner in the business consulting firm CUSTOMatrix, Inc, and an executive coach for the Center for Creative Leadership. FREE GIFT FROM JORDAN :The Battle Plan. A downloadable excerpt from his book, Workplace WarriorWorkplaceWarrior.comCONTACT INFO FOR JORDAN GOLDRICH:Website: JordanGoldrich.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: @jgoldrichFacebook: @jordan.goldrichInstagram: @jordangoldrichTwitter: @jordangoldrich1YouTube: @jordangoldrichCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpWant my help? New client's one-hour introductory session only $97WANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy course via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#JordanGoldrich #workplacewarrior #nobullshitexecutive #peopleskills #leadersasbullies #abrasiveleaders#relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #toxicrelationships #narcissisticabuse#difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #difficultconversations #workplacerelationships #relationshipadvice #toxicrelationshipadvice See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Jan 2020

36 min 11 sec

We have so many images of step-moms. Angels, devils, and everything in between! My guest, Kathy Hammond, is the author of How to Kill Your Husband's Ex, Attorneys and Then Some: Ass Kickin' Advice for Stepmoms.You might relate! She says, "Books on step parenting hope to evoke a kumbaya feeling. That might work if everyone involved in the step family dynamic is mature, empathetic and certainly not narcissistic. In reality are very raw emotions of jealousy, anger, resentment and fear, experienced by ex-spouses and subsequent spouses and, as chief casualties, the kids."Being a stepmom is difficult. You step into a place where someone else's shoes are already filled, in most cases. You're the bonus mom. You also may be perceived as the unnecessary extra mom, too. Whoa! How to Kill Your Husband's Ex, Attorney, and Then Some! Strong words. I'm sure many stepmoms will relate. Do you? Are you in a new relationship where you're screaming (at least, in your head) "My husband's ex cannot let go! My husband's ex causes too many problems! My husband's ex won't let go!" Maybe your partner's ex is a #Hijackal. If you're dealing with a #Hijackal ex--a difficult, toxic, unrelenting, demanding ex--when you're the new stepmom, you're going to have a steep learning curve. There will be days! You'll wonder why you ever said yes to taking on someone's children. Will it strengthen your new marriage by working as a team, or will your new partner be overwhelmed by the stress? Maybe, you'll land somewhere in between. Listen today and shortcut the journey to success as a stepmom. Feel better about your stepmom role. Kathy Hammond has twenty-seven years of experience as a stepmom so she's done some heavy lifting for you. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>>>> AND, Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you.ARE YOU--OR, HAVE YOU BEEN--IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER, EX, PARENT, OR SIBLING?Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the ongoing insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships. All safely off social media, too!___________________________________HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Answers to...What do I do to get a great start when I take on someone else's children? What CAN I do to improve family dynamics when I'm the stepmom?What if my husband's ex is toxic?How do I keep myself out of my husband's last relationship?How do I handle the money situation when there is an ex in the picture?Why is an annual review of child custody and child support essential?How can I enforce my boundaries in a new relationship with his children?What can I expect when the children's bio mom remarries? What about divorce attorneys?What about dealing with in-laws? GUEST: KATHY HAMMONDKathy Hammond is an award-winning author, speaker and CEO of a recruitment solutions company in Orange County, California. The focus of her work is helping people find their voice and their place. A native of Southern California, Kathy and her family moved to Guam after graduating high school, satisfying her newfound wanderlust. She attended the University of Guam, falling in love with Hemmingway and Margaret Mead. With a dream of writing her way through distant cultures, she landed a job selling ad space for This Month and Guam and Micronesia magazine where she begin writing commercially before becoming its Editor, also writing for the then-popular Off Duty military magazine. Wanting to earn her writing chops on something bigger, after spending time in Japan and, later, while living in Switzerland, Kathy started writing a novel about American baseball players in Japan. She loved writing dialogue but fiction was not to be her genre. She returned to California and continued her career in sales. While on a cruise to Mexico, on the night they set sale, Kathy met her husband-to-be and the catalyst for her latest work. They married seven weeks later and moved to John’s home state of Tennessee where she became stepmom to John’s two very young sons. After later relocating to South Florida, she went on to earn a Master’s in Organizational Management while working as a sales executive in workforce solutions. She studied business coaching in South Africa, where she appeared on numerous radio and television shows and was keynote speaker on the coaching organization’s nationwide speaking tour. In 2011, Kathy and her husband returned to Southern California where she found her writing voice. The following year, she published her first book, The Road to Nē: A remarkable little tale about getting what you want by giving up just one little thing, an allegory on goal setting, winning honorable mentions at the 2013 Great Southwest, Paris and New York Book Festivals. In 2019, Kathy published How to Kill Your Husband's Ex, Attorneys and Then Some: Ass Kickin' Advice for Stepmoms. Infusing Kathy’s grinding humor and practical advice to tackle life’s dilemmas is spurring Kathy’s “How to Kill …” series … though one will have to wait to see who is next. Still going strong after 27 years of marriage, Kathy and her husband reside in Yorba Linda, California.FREE GIFT FROM KATHY:Not at this timeCONTACT INFO FOR KATHY HAMMOND:Website: KathyHammonBooks.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: @BusinessOptimizerFacebook: Instagram: Twitter: YouTube: CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpWant my help? New client's one-hour introductory session only $97WANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy course via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#KathyHammond #KathyHammondBooks #beingastepmom #asskickinstepmom #stepparenting #stepmothers #adviceforstepmoms #adviceforstepmothers #otherpeopleschildren #becomingastepmom #relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #toxicrelationships #narcissisticabuse#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #difficultconversations See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Jan 2020

38 min 57 sec

What do you do when you don't feel well? Do you ignore it and hope it will go away?Do you become interested in the needs of your body?Just because your parent had a disease or condition, do you believe you're next? Today's guest, Dr. Elizabeth Hughes, has exciting news: "YOUR FUTURE IS NOT WRITTEN IN YOUR DNA."What would change for you if you believed your future is not written in your DNA? Such an important belief to challenge! Dr. Hughes talks about why it is important to listen to your body. She says, 'Our bodies communicate with us all the time. Our big job is to actively listen." Are you listening to your body? Does it happen to be telling you that you're stressed, but you don't want to believe it? So much wisdom, along with new insights, in today's episode. Learn more about Complementary Medicine.______________________________>>>>> AND, Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you.ARE YOU--OR, HAVE YOU BEEN--IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER, EX, PARENT, OR SIBLING?Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the ongoing insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships. All safely off social media, too!___________________________________HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Answers to...What is energy medicine?Is western medicine not enough?What caused you to expand beyond the traditional areas of western medicine?Can we trust our bodies to lead us on the right journey to health?What about denial of what our bodies tell us, are maybe screaming at us?How did having a toxic relationship affect your life?How does a toxic relationship affect your health?How do feelings and beliefs change health, from a biological perspective?What is the most important subconscious belief to change your health?How do supportive relationships make you healthier?How can I take steps to become healthier right away? GUEST: ELIZABETH HUGHES, MDDr. Hughes is a dermatologist and former faculty member at Stanford University, where she taught dozens of physicians, including many nationally-recognized leaders in the field of dermatology. Nearly twenty years after graduating from medical school, Dr. Hughes witnessed the rapid resolution of a patient’s chronic illness without any medical intervention. This event caused Dr. Hughes to question everything she had been taught about health and illness, and to look for better answers for “incurable” conditions. Her quest lead her to investigate ancient spiritual traditions, non-western systems of health and healing, placebo research, and the emerging sciences of epigenetics and psychoneuroimmunology. In the process, she became a registered yoga teacher, a certified health coach, and a practitioner of several energy medicine modalities. Dr. Hughes has developed a revolutionary approach to health based on establishing trust in the human body. Dr. Hughes believes that once each person has cultivated a deep and abiding trust in the power of the human body, our experience of health and illness will change for the better forever.FREE GIFT FROM ELIZABETH:The Stress Antidote Guide TheStressAntidote.comCONTACT INFO FOR ELIZABETH HUGHES:Website: ElizabethHughesMD.com Podcasts:LinkedIn: @ElizabethHughesMDFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/elizabethhughesmdInstagram: @Twitter:  https://twitter.com/jEHughesMDYouTube: CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpWant my help? New client's one-hour introductory session only $97WANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy course via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#ElizabethHughesMD #westernmedicineisnotenough #epigenetics #psychoneuroimmunology #toxicrelationshipaffecthealth#energymedicine #yogaforhealth #alternativemedicine #complementarymedicine #relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #toxicrelationships #narcissisticabuse#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #difficultconversations See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Jan 2020

45 min 6 sec

Fearful? Skeptical? Not sure you trust yourself to choose well? Unsure about trusting when you start to date again? You'll likely have some of that when you're dating in mid-life, especially if you have left a toxic relationship? You hear the term, self-love, so often these days. Do you know what it really means? What are your assumptions about it? I actually don't use that term much because of the ambiguity. In today's episode, my guest, Jonothon Aslay, and I discuss this because sometimes the term causes me to roll my eyes. Really, that's true. But, I loved Jonathon's definition of self-love, and that makes the discussion all the more juicy! It's awkward to know when the best time to ask about previous relationships is, right? Do you get it out of the way at the beginning, or is there a better time for that question? See all the question below that I asked Jonathon. So much great information, and excellent insights, too. ______________________________>>>>> AND, Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you.ARE YOU--OR, HAVE YOU BEEN--IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER, EX, PARENT, OR SIBLING?Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the ongoing insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships. All safely off social media, too!___________________________________HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Answers to...What inspired Jonathon Aslay to write about dating and self-love?What is his definition of self-love?How does mid-life dating differ from dating earlier in life?What are the red flags in mid-life dating?Are there questions to be avoided on first dates? When is the best time to talk about previous relationships when dating a new person?Why does Jonathon call venting "empowered problem-solving?"What are the roadblocks women face when understanding divorced men?What questions should women ask when going out with a divorced man?What are the differences between men who have been divorced and men who've never married?GUEST: JONATHON ASLAYThe focus of one of America's Leading Mid-Life Dating Coach has expanded into a deeper, essential philosophy of what it truly means to LOVE. After losing his 19-year-old son Connor in 2018, Jonathon Aslay’s grief led him on a soul-searching inner journey, where he became aware of an often-overlooked dimension of the dating conversation. He realized that the process of dating reveals the most common emotional health issue faced by many singles seeking a partner: a distressing lack of self-worth, self-regard, and self-love. Today, he is on a mission of encouraging both men and women to fully love themselves with a new book, "What The Heck Is Self-Love Anyway?"—packed with fun, engaging spiritual and personal growth practices—and his dynamic Mid-Life Love Mastery mentorship program, that inspires hundreds of people daily, around the world.FREE GIFT FROM JONATHON:Chapters from his book, What the Heck is Self-Love Anyway? http://www.jonathonaslay.com/love/CONTACT INFO FOR JONATHON ASLAYWebsite: JonathonAslay.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/consciouscoupling.jonathonaslay/Instagram: @Twitter:  https://twitter.com/jonathonaslayYouTube: CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#JonathonAslay #selflove #whatisselflove #datinginmidlife #midlifedating #trustinmidlifedating #datingwhenolder #relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #toxicrelationships #narcissisticabuse#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #difficultconversations See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Jan 2020

39 min 25 sec

HUMAN DESIGN? What immediately came to mind when you read that?Human Design is a system that "illustrates the genetic codes in our personal makeup, both from a conscious perspective, and also from the unconscious ancestral input," as today's guest, Chetan Parkyn says."We get distracted in our lives from the moment we arrive here.We become conditioned not only from the attitudes and behaviors of the family and circumstances in which we are born, but we also have ingrained in our genetic codes unconscious patterns from our ancestry.Human Design illustrates the genetic codes in our personal makeup, both from a conscious perspective, and also from the unconscious ancestral input.It highlights the "Cards we are dealt at birth," the Soul Agreement we made before the conditioning and before we were introduced to the concept of good or bad.My work is to not only illustrate an individual's codes but also to indicate how to play these codes or "cards" to ensure personal recognition, self-acceptance, self-love and ultimate fulfillment.Being in love with your own life, establishes a sure foundation for any an all interactions and relationships."Understanding what Human Design offers you can change your direction. When I first encountered it, twelve years ago, I was relieved. What I had been doing to let people know about my work was the exact opposite of what my Human Design invited me to do.Wow! Everything changed. I invite you to get Chetan Parkyn's free Human Design report to help you with initial insights. It may be just what you most need. The link is in the notes below._______________________________>>>>> AND, Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you.ARE YOU--OR, HAVE YOU BEEN--IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER, EX, PARENT, OR SIBLING?Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the ongoing insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships. All safely off social media, too!___________________________________HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Answers to...What is the Human Design approach?How are we "conditioned" to more away from our own specific Human Design?Can we change the genetic codes ingrained in us from our ancestry?What is Chetan's take on "self-love?"What does it mean to be ultimately fulfilled?How can we live the life we were mean to have before life intervened in our formative years?How is Human Design a self-remembering system?How can we learn to navigate toxic relationships better, knowing Human Design?Why is is worthwhile to know my Human Design, and how can it help me going forward?GUEST: CHETAN PARKYNChetan Parkyn was schooled in England, and traveled the world as a troubleshooting mechanical engineer and ocean-diving engineer. In India, in 1979, while with the enlightened mystic Osho, his abilities to read for people surfaced when his gifts were recognized by two savants, who told him to “get ready” for a system that would come into his life and that he would introduce to the whole world.Chetan was encouraged to use his gifts to “Read” for people, and he commenced reading hands, cards, the IChing, astrology and other esoteric systems to prepare himself for the “new system.”In 1993, he was introduced to Human Design, recognized right away this is what the savants had foretold, and has studied, read and taught it worldwide ever since.His first book : Human Design: Discover the Person You Were Born To Be was first published in 2009 by Harper Collins UK, and is now available in 12 language versions, reaching best-seller status in Chinese, Russian and Bulgarian. Two more books on Human Design, The Book of Lines, and 21st Century View of the IChing, and The Book of Destinies, Discover the Life You Were Born To Live are already being translated and released in other language versions.26 years after being introduced to Human Design, Chetan continues teaching Human Design online and in person, often with his wife and partner, Carola Eastwood. Chetan presently resides in San Diego, California.FREE GIFT FROM CHETAN:FREE Human Design Report.https://HumanDesignForUsAll.com/free-reportCONTACT INFO FOR CHETAN PARKYNFor the free Human Design App : www.TheHumanDesignApp.comFor personal Readings and Mentoring, Chetan can be reached at Media@HumanDesignForUsAll.comPhone (1) 951 961 7662Website: HumanDesignForUsAll.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: @Chetan-ParkynFacebook: @Chetan.ParkynInstagram: @Twitter:  @HumanDesignBookYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCafa0H6oujxU-YELe7DSfsg?view_as=subscriberCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#ChetanParkyn #HumanDesign #HumanDesignforusall #CarolaEastwood #astrology #humandesignreport #freehumandesignreport#relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #toxicrelationships #narcissisticabuse#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #difficultconversations See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Dec 2019

32 min 17 sec

Never mistake love-bombing for love!Never mistake lust for love!Great advice for dating! Today's episode with Dr. Terri Orbuch is SO important, especially when you're dating. And, even more especially if you're dating after leaving a difficult, or toxic, relationship. You need to know these distinctions so that you feel more confident in the dating scene.The big question we discuss is "How can you reignite passion in a relationship that has become a little humdrum, and maybe a little too indifferent. You can do it and Dr. Terri gives three surprising, yet simple things to consider...especially her tip about arousal-producing activities and the scientific reasons behind why they work to reignite passion.Dr. Terri's advice is based on science, or her long-term research project following the same couples over time.How to reignite the passion in your long-term relationship?Passion and excitement decline in all relationships over time - it's inevitable. So, when that happens, it's important to practice strategies that can reignite that excitement of passion. We discuss science-based strategies to keep the flame alive!!In addition, all couples go through relationship ruts - where your relationship becomes habitual, routine or the same old things over time. That's okay. It's part of a long-term relationship. BUT, if couples stay in that relationship rut for too long, boredom sets in, and boredom eats away at the happiness in a relationship. So, we discuss strategies to add things to your relationship so that boredom won't set in.Dr. Terri Orbuch shares a great tip from her book, "5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great."Contrary to what you've been told, keeping a marriage successful does not take hard work! Instead, it takes consistent small changes in behaviors and attitudes over time, to create happiness and transform your relationship.The main reason marriages break up isn't conflict, lack of communication or sexual incompatibility. Rather, it's frustration (that is, the day-to-day disappointment or the gap between what you expect and how your partner acts) that's most damaging."_______________________________>>>>> AND, Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you.ARE YOU--OR, HAVE YOU BEEN--IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER, EX, PARENT, OR SIBLING?Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the ongoing insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships. All safely off social media, too!___________________________________HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Answers to...How does science-based research into dating and love help?Can you learn to trust after betrayal?Is it true that the US has a very high divorce rate?At what point in a relationship is divorced more likely to happen?When excitement and passion decline, does that mean the relationship is in trouble?What can couples do to reignite the passion?What is the difference between love and lust?How is love is different from love-bombing?GUEST: DR. TERRI ORBUCHDr. Terri Orbuch (aka The Love Doctor®) is a world-renowned relationship expert, author, speaker, professor, research professor, marriage and family therapist and media personality, whose practical science-based advice has helped thousands of people find and create the loving relationships they deserve.Dr. Terri Orbuch earned her Ph.D. from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. She joined the faculty at Oakland University in 1998 and is now a Distinguished Professor of Sociology. She is also a research professor at the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research, and the director of a landmark research project, funded by the National Institutes of Health (NIH), where she has been following the same couples for almost 3 decades. It is the longest-running study of married couples ever conducted in the United States.In addition, she is a certified marriage and family therapist (MFT) who has worked with individuals and couples for thirty years. She also does dating and relationship coaching with people across the world. She is well respected as a researcher and professor in the scientific world, and is also known by TV, radio, and online fans as The Love Doctor®, a popular relationship expert and advisor.Dr. Orbuch is widely published in scientific journals and the author of five relationship books, including “5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great,” and “Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship.” Her website is: DrTerriTheLoveDoctor.comAbout Dr. Terri•Featured in national outlets such as, The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Reader’s Digest, Real Simple, Bride, O, Good Housekeeping, WebMD, USA Today, Self, Women’s Health, Cosmopolitan, TIME magazine and more…•Appeared on The Today Show, MSNBC, The Katie Couric Show, ESPN, HuffPost Live, CNN, and more…•Her relationship segments are aired weekly on Fox-2 Detroit Morning News (2005 – present)•National public television special (PBS), “Secrets from The Love Doctor”•2,200,000+ views on her TEDx talk: Lust vs. Love; https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=466&v=Siru3n3zIbM•2 best-selling books: “5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great” and “Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship”•5 Simple Steps #1 best seller in Amazon for: (a) Marriage and Long-Term Relationships, (b) Marriage and Adult Relationships, & (c) Self Help Relationships•Hosts an Empower Radio weekly program called “The Love Doctor is IN.” Archived on iTunes, Stitcher and iHeart Radiohttp://www.empoweradio.com/home/shows/812199-The-Love-Doctor-with-Terri-Orbuch.htmlFREE GIFT FROM DR.ORBUCHNot at this timeCONTACT INFO FOR DR. TERRI ORBUCH:Website: DrTerriTheLoveDoctor.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: @TerriOrbuchFacebook: @DrTerriLoveDrInstagram: @Twitter:  @DrTerriLoveDrYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=Siru3n3zIbMCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#drterriorbuch #reignitepassion #sciencebaseddatingadvice #lovebombing #datingadvice#relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #toxicrelationships #narcissisticabuse#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #difficultconversations See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Dec 2019

28 min 47 sec

GO WITH YOUR GUT! How many times have you heard that? Sure, most folks are talking about intuition and gut feelings, but did you know that the seat of health is in your gut, your microbiome? Worth knowing, right? Better yet, and more worth knowing, is learning about taking good care of your microbiome to encourage health, in every way.Dr. Brindusa Vanta has used her training as a medical doctor, and her vast interest and research, to understand the foundations of health, and how to return to it when it seems to be seeping away. She shares these findings with you, and helps you to find a path to better health. Fabulous!Depressed? Anxious? Feeling like you can't think straight and everything's a bit fuzzy?Dr. Vanta shares five important considerations for overcoming depression, and her four mindset shifts for overcoming disease in general. Yahoo! Only four. You can do that, right?Because I help people who are--or, have been--experiencing toxic relationships, I asked Dr. Vanta about the effects of toxic relationships on the body and mind. In particular, I asked about the link between toxic relationships and the development of autoimmune diseases. You want to be very mindful of this. The sooner you leave the toxic situation, the sooner you can heal.Got inflammation? You'll want to hear the psychoneurology and mind-body connections that can be involved. Let's all stop triggering inflammation now!Listen in. You, your body, and your relationships will benefit from spending this time learning from Dr. Brindusa Vanta._________________________________>>>>> AND, Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you.ARE YOU--OR, HAVE YOU BEEN--IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER, EX, PARENT, OR SIBLING?Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships. All safely off social media, too!___________________________________HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Answers to...What is included in "natural medicine?"What is homeopathy?How is brain health related to physical health?What can happen to a body in a long-term toxic relationship?What can I do to stop triggering inflammation in my body?What are Dr. Vanta's four steps to overcoming disease?What supplements does Dr. Vanta suggest for improving brain health?What can you do that is both natural and helpful for overcoming depression?GUEST: DR. BRINDUSA VANTADr.Vanta graduated from a top medical school in Romania in 2001, with a wealth of knowledge and a strong belief that the use of prescription drugs is the only solution for overcoming diseases.After moving to Canada, she was keen to get her MD license. Despite several obstacles, she successfully passed the tests required to apply for a Canadian license. While she was in a lengthy process of getting into the residency program in 2005, a personal event made her explore nutrition and alternative medicine.She then enrolled in an advanced program for physicians at the Ontario College of Homeopathic Medicine in Toronto.In 2008, she got involved in medical research focused on natural therapies and shifted her focus from conventional medicine to alternative medicine.Dr.Vanta’s mission is to help people transform their health and vitality using the power of nutrition and natural medicine.She is a medical researcher who makes use of latest and scientific studies on brain health and provides one on one consultations to clients from around the world.Key area of expertise: brain health and how to supercharge your brain.Naturally.FREE GIFT FROM DR. VANTA:Test your brain health. Take her free quiz at DrVanta.comCONTACT INFO FOR DR. BRINDUSA VANTA:Website: DrVanta.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: @DrBrindusaVanta5918Facebook: @Dr-Brindusa-VantaInstagram: @ForeverHomesforFosterKidsCATwitter:  YouTube: CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#autoimmunedisease #overcomingfatigue #drbrindusavanta #drvanta #brainfog #healingdepressingnaturally #naturalmedicine #triggeringinflammation#relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #toxicrelationships #narcissisticabuse#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #difficultconversations See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Dec 2019

37 min 4 sec

You've likely heard so much in the news about the separation of children from their families at the United States borders. Children kept in cages.Overcrowding conditions that don't seem to improve. And, the issues of children being placed in foster homes for their own safety has always been with us.HOW DO WE MAKE THE FOSTER CARE SYSTEM WORK WELL IN THE BEST INTERESTS OF CHILDREN AND FAMILIES? That's the big, ongoing question. Today, my guest, Richard Villasana, helps us understand what the actual realities are for both children separated from their families at the US Border, and children separated from their families because their parents cannot--and sometimes should not--be caring for them,You likely have a thought about the foster care system. Sad stories about the foster care system make their way into television dramas we enjoy watching. It makes us aware of the feeling of foster children. Recently, for instance, on Grey's Anatomy, two main characters bonded over a newly-discovered shared history of having been in foster care. It makes it more real for everyone to understand, and I applaud the writers of these shows for being socially conscious!Richard Villasana is a leading light out of what can be a dark hole for many. This, of course, has been exacerbated by recent years of high-profile stories about the immigration difficulties and the separation of children from their families at the US border. So many children in such a short time...in cages. We've all seen it on the news. I have friends who have gone to the border to see exactly what is happening, and it is all very real, unfortunately.I asked Richard Villasana why we hear that some children may never see their parents again, after having crossed the border. Of course, I am very concerned about emotional trauma and long-lasting emotional damage that these sad situations can create, and I asked Richard about how it is addressed. An equally sad answer!See the Highlights below for the questions I made sure to ask him.Listen in and learn more. This is very serious for the fabric of our society: that children are being well-cared for, in their best interests and on behalf of their well-being. ._________________________________>>>>> AND, Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you.ARE YOU--OR, HAVE YOU BEEN--IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER, EX, PARENT, OR SIBLING?Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships. All safely off social media, too!___________________________________HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Answers to...What is actually happening at the border of the United States with children being separated from their families?Will these children ever see their families again?Are mistakes being made in the processing of their families?How is this family separation being addressed?What is the process for finding family for this immigrant children?What is the ideal placement for a foster child?How do we improve foster care?What effect do cultural differences have on the fostering situation?How is the emotional trauma that foster kids too often suffer addressed, especially in the case of immigrant families?GUEST: RICHARD VILLASANARichard Villasana, founder of Forever Homes for Foster Kids, is a leading international authority on immigration issues and foster families. A proud Navy veteran,Richard has been featured on CNN International, Univision, AP News, ABC TV, Costco Connections, Washington Post, and EFE, the world’s largest Spanish language media company. He is a olumnist with Foster Focus Magazine and an international speaker. He was honored as a California Hero. He has also translated for the United Nations.For 25 years, his non-profit has worked with government agencies across the country reuniting immigrant and foster children with their families.FREE GIFT FROM RICHARD VILLASANA: Not at this time. CONTACT INFO FOR RICHARD VILLASANA:Website: ForeverHomesforFosterKids.orgPodcasts:LinkedIn: @RichardVillasanaFacebook: @FimilyFindingMXInstagram: @ForeverHomesforFosterKidsCATwitter:  @FamilyFindingMXYouTube: CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#fosterkids #kidsseparatedattheborder #inhumaneimmigration #reunitingfosterkids #foreverhomesforfosterkids #richardvillasana#relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #toxicrelationships #narcissisticabuse#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #difficultconversations See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Dec 2019

42 min 41 sec

Do you think that there is a connection between what goes on in your emotional life and what goes on in your body?You betcha! Today's episode starts with me giving you some insights into the hows, whys, and benefits of creating uninterrupted time in your life frequently. Do you do that? Most people don't, so take this in. It can make a HUGE difference in your feeling of well-being!When you have difficulties--especially chronic stress and anxiety--from being raised by, living with, or leaving toxic people, #Hijackals, you are likely to have health issues. When you're young, you may not notice the cumulative effects so much. You may be unhappy, irritable, or feeling defeated, but your body is more resilient...for awhile.As you stay in these toxic relationships, or at least, don't fully realize the toll these relationships have on you, you may well begin to experience small breakdowns in your body. You lose energy, feel fatigued, and don't bounce back as you used to. That's the beginning of more difficulties to come...if you stay.Often, when you go to the doctor and describe this general malaise, the doctor will tell you that it's all in your head. In a way, that's true because you are experiencing emotional issues from destructive relationships. But, you're not crazy, or mentally unstable.It's true, though, that when these conditions persist, you feel like you're living in a fog, surrounded by pain, unable and unwilling to participate.fully in life. Sound familiar? Time to change your mind, and today's episode of Emotional Savvy will definitely help.Today's we'll explore the connections between emotional well-being and physical well-being, between the damaging effects of unhealthy relationships and the potential for autoimmune conditions.DISCLAIMER: Neither my guest, Sharon Sayler, nor I are medical doctors. We are talking about other people's research and our own anecdotal experiences with clients, listeners, and friends.GUEST: Sharon Sayler, Producer and Host of The Autoimmune Hour on Life Interrupted and creator of UnderstandingAutoimmune.com Sharon Sayler is an international bestselling author and speaker known as the difficult people whisperer, and is listed on GlobalGurus.org as one of the top 20 worldwide for body language.She also happens to be the host of the #1 show on OMTimes Radio, The Autoimmune Hour, where she offers hope and help for those with autoimmune conditions. Her own experience dealing with a rare medical condition propelled her to create The AutoImmune Hour to support others to become informed, courageous, and powerful self-advocates as they turn life's traumas into transformations regardless of their diagnoses.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: What is the connect between intention and physical healthHow to think about what you think about that might need changingSharon's experience with her own medical journeyCompliance vs non-compliance as patientsThe power of the mind and the decision to put yourself firstTaking powerful steps to improve autoimmune conditionsCONNECT WITH SHARON SAYLERWebsite: UnderstandingAutoimmune.comTwitter:  @SharonSaylerFacebook: Facebook.com/SharonSayler LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/SharonSaylerInstagram: Instagram.com/SharonSaylerCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?You can. CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #emotionalintimacy #autoimmunedisease #SharonSayler #understandingautoimmune See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Nov 2019

47 min 49 sec

FORGIVENESS! It sounds right. Sounds good. But, what does it really mean to forgive someone?On Emotional Savvy, I'm often talking about those relentlessly difficult, toxic people that I call #Hijackals®. #Narcissists are #Hijackals, and they will do all they can to have power over you in every way, and exert control wherever they can. My guest, Terri Levine, has encountered them, and she talks about the terror. You may have experienced the terror of being in relationship with a narcissist. Today's episode will really help you. Would you like to be able to forgive?Why is it important to you to forgive a toxic person? As Terri Levine and I talk about her experiences, you may well see your experiences reflected there. As she wrote, "Every human being is connected to us through our DNA."How does this affect our interest in, and our ability to forgive? Listen in and see what this brings up for you. >>>>> AND, Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you.ARE YOU--OR, HAVE YOU BEEN--IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER, EX, PARENT, OR SIBLING?Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships. All safely off social media, too!___________________________________HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Answers to...Is there such a thing as "untrue forgiveness?" What makes the different from true forgiveness? Why does Terri Levine think it is important to forgive toxic people?Is there any reason to embrace toxic people?What does Terri Levine think the steps to forgiveness are? What does our DNA have to do with it? GUEST: DR. TERRI LEVINETerri Levine (SAY Luh-VEEN) is the founder of Heart-repreneur® and is a business and executive coaching expert. She assists businesses worldwide with business growth, sales, and marketing. She has more than 40 years of business experience, encompassing work with more than 5,000 business owners and entrepreneurs in a variety of industries. She is also a best-selling author of dozens of titles, has her own radio and TV show and is also a keynote speaker.Terri has a passion for helping businesses to grow with her own personal experience gained while building multiple successful businesses from the ground up. Terri has created the Heart-repreneur® cause teaching business owners to do business heart-to-heart.Her latest book is her autobiography which teaches her process of forgiveness that has healed her and hundreds of others.FREE GIFT FROM TERRI LEVINE:Visit AboutToBreakBook.com CONTACT INFO FOR DR. TERRI LEVINE:Website: Heartrepreneur.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: @TerriLevineFacebook: @HeartrepreneurTerriLevineInstagram: @MentorTerriTwitter:  @MentorTerriYouTube: CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#TerriLevine #AboutToBreak #trueforgiveness #whobrokeyourheart #dealingwithtoxicpeople #Heartrepreneur #relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #toxicrelationships #narcissisticabuse#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #difficultconversations See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Nov 2019

31 min 33 sec

HUGGING? Love it? Hate it? Only for really close people? Hug everybody? Big questions! Hugging has had a renaissance in the last twenty years, and has even found its way into corporate culture. Should it be there? Is it appropriate? I know people have some strong feelings about hugging. How about you? This conversation with Dr. Stone covers all the bases of hugging how's, why's, and why not's. According to Healthline.com :"Hugs may boost your heart health. Hugging can be good for your heart health. In one study, scientists split a group of about 200 adults into two groups:One group had romantic partners hold hands for 10 minutes followed by a 20-second hug with each other.The other group had romantic partners who sat in silence for 10 minutes and 20 seconds.People in the first group showed greater reductions in blood pressure levels and heart rate than the second group.According to these findings, an affectionate relationship may be good for your heart health." What does hugging do for you? Well, aside from the "feel good" aspects of it, Dr. Stone says great benefits are that it brings acceptance and connection. He tells us how a 20 second hug can actually do good--measurably good--things for our health. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Answers to...Why have we replaced the handshake with the hug so often?Do we need permission to hug?Should others ask before hugging us if they are not very close to us? Why would you not hug? What the heck are "cuddle parties?"How can a person use hugging if they are not with other humans at the moment? Hugging in the workplace??? >>>>> Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you.ARE YOU--OR, HAVE YOU BEEN--IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER, EX, PARENT, OR SIBLING?Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships. All safely off social media, too!___________________________________GUEST: DR. STONE KRAUSHAARDr. Stone is a psychologist and therapeutic coach completely taken by the power of hugs and the difference they can make for each of us individually and in the world. AKA the The Hug Doctor, he passionately professes there really are no strangers - we all share a profound connection. The Hug Doctor wants nothing more than for each of us to live a life full of joyful hugging that includes hugging ourselves, hugging our families, hugging our friends and hugging the world. He is a staunch advocate for longer hugs and more meaningful and inspirational hugs. Some hugs are literal while others are metaphorical. He says the hug is a brilliant tool for knocking down walls within ourselves as well as those that divide us from each other. You will catch him on 21-day hugging journeys and inspiring others about what we can create together in the ‘space of a hug.’FREE GIFT FROM DR. STONE:Not at this time, but he suggests you give away hugs! CONTACT INFO FOR DR. STONE KRAUSHAAR:Website: TheHugDoctor.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: @DoctorKTodayFacebook: @DrStoneKInstagram: @the_hugdoctorTwitter:  @DrKTodayYouTube: CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#huggingenthusiast #hugsforhealing #DrStone #helpfulhugs #huggingtherapy #thehugdoctor#relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #toxicrelationships #narcissisticabuse#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #difficultconversations See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Oct 2019

38 min 7 sec

We are grateful for a woman's service in the military. We need to consider the issues a woman faces when leaving the military, and re-entering civilian life. Those of us who have not served need to understand these issues because we can help.I asked my guest, Ariel Shivers-McGrew, what the greatest benefit she received from being a woman in the military. Her answers may surprise you! And, they were positive! Now, she helps women understand and solve the issues of re-entry into civilian life.Re-entry can be difficult:Finding work.Re-establishing family life.Substance abuse after leaving.Finding a mentor to help with the transition.A year ago, I found myself with bags of clothing to give away, clothing that reflected years on stage as a speaker. When I looked for a place to donate it, I was delighted to find that, on that very day, there was a clothing drive for women leaving the military and entering the civilian work force.I hadn't thought about that need before. Have you?Even though I haven't served myself, I saw that there were community needs for these women that I was unaware of. Today's guest drawsattention to the unique needs of women leaving the military.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Answers to...How do women in the military have to segment their lives?What is the most common career trajectory for a woman leaving the military?Why is this topic of issues facing women leaving the military so important at this time?What are the pitfalls and landmines that military women face when leaving?What about culture shock?What issues do military women face when coming home?How do military women find civilian jobs after their service?>>>>> Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you.ARE YOU--OR, HAVE YOU BEEN--IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER, EX, PARENT, OR SIBLING?Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships. All safely off social media, too!___________________________________GUEST: ARIEL SHIVERS-MCGREWA careerist in the United States Army Reserves, an EOL (Equal Opportunity Liaison), a DARN (duty appointed reenlistment NCO), ASISTer (applied suicide intervention skills trained), primarily responsible for the analysis, development and distribution of intelligence used for information and psychological effect.I’ve authored two young adult fictions, managed to find myself a lead contributor for a women veteran’s network in an online magazine and recently presented a proposal on Incivility in the workplace and career counselor preparedness in the 21st century as a PhD student.I’m a former SFL-TAP (transition assistance program) Counselor. I’ve taught women veterans how to start their own business across the Chicagoland area as the Director, Women Vetrepreneurship while simultaneously serving as the Associate Director, Veterans Programs for the Veterans Business Outreach Center at the Women’s Business Development Center for a three-state region (WI, MN, IL).FREE GIFT FROM ARIEL:Career Genogram You can find it by visiting her website.CONTACT INFO FOR ARIEL SHIVERS-MCGREW:Website: TactfulDisruption.coPodcasts:LinkedIn: @ArielShiversMcGrewFacebook: @LLCTactfulInstagram: @LLITactfulTwitter:  @LLCTactfulYouTube: CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#militarywomen #womenleavingthemilitary #reentryformilitarywomen #militaryculture #relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #toxicrelationships #narcissisticabuse#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #difficultconversations See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Oct 2019

34 min

Were you brought up with the underlying understanding that, if you were a good person, everyone would like you? Most folks are.So, you do your level best--even once you're an adult--to be pleasant, agreeable, and interesting so that will happen.Sometimes, you go the extra mile in hope, right? And, after you turn yourself into a pretzel, they still withhold approval and interest. So, today's topic will relieve you of the notion that you are supposed to jump all the hoops that each person sets up, and find a way to get them to like you. I know, as an adult, you might be able to say "I don't care whether people like me or not." But, is it the truth that you actually--deep down--FEEL that way? If so, you may be free of these expectations. If it's not true yet--or, you'd like it to be more true, today's episode offers valuable insights that can help! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Answers to...What helped you step around fear and create an international organization?Were you afraid of what folks would think, or say?How did your past promote or prevent you from doing this easily? Why do we focus on others so much, and on what they think?How did you get over the "Everyone Has to Like Me" issue?Why do you need to filter some people out of your life? What are your special "rules" for deciding who to keep in your life and how? >>>>> Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you.ARE YOU--OR, HAVE YOU BEEN--IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER, EX, PARENT, OR SIBLING?Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships. All safely off social media, too!___________________________________GUEST: TONYA HOFMANN-CEO & Founder of the Public Speakers Association & Wowdible-Globally Sought-After Speaker-Cover of 5 Magazines-Best Selling Author of 7 International Books-Winner of Multiple National and International Industry and Association Awards -Host of Tonya Hofmann’s Wow TV ShowFREE GIFT FROM TONYA HOFMANN :Want to chat with Tonya Hofmann, CEO of Public Speakers Association? You can by visiting her website.CONTACT INFO FOR TONYA HOFMANN:Website: PublicSpeakersAssociation.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: @TonyaHofmannFacebook: @PublicSpeakersAssociationInstagram: @Tonya_HofmannTwitter:  @DebiSilberYouTube: @TonyaHofmannCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#PublicSpeakersAssociation #TonyaHofmann #wantpeopletolikeme #filterpeopleout #relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #toxicrelationships #narcissisticabuse#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #difficultconversations See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Oct 2019

36 min 33 sec

HAVE YOU EVER FELT BETRAYED? HAVE YOU EVER FULLY BEEN ABLE TO TRUST YOURSELF OR ANOTHER AGAIN? This episode looks at different forms of betrayal, including infidelity. Who typically betrays? One of the questions I had for my guest, Dr. Debi Silber, was on the topic of parental betrayal. Often, a person doesn't want to think or believe that they were betrayed by their parents. Because of brain development, and culture, we want to--and often need to--believe that our parents had our best interests at heart. That's not always true. #Hijackal parents, for example, only have their own best interests in mind, and their children are simply pawns in the process. Betrayal is real! What do you think, feel, or do when the person, or people, you trust most in the world are the one's who betray you? A big question we talk a lot about as we define 'betrayal." HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Answers to...Why do you numb yourself, or avoid or distract yourself, when things are going very wrong?What can you do to feel or face what really needs your attention?What is Post Betrayal Syndrome?What do you do to experience a Post Betrayal Transformation?What are the five stages you go through--or, can go through--from betrayal to breakthrough?>>>>> Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you.ARE YOU--OR, HAVE YOU BEEN--IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER, EX, PARENT, OR SIBLING?Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships. All safely off social media, too!___________________________________GUEST: DR. DEBI SILBERDr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute in New York and https://pbtinstitute.com is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset, and personal development expert. She's an award-winning speaker, coach and author of the Amazon #1 Bestselling book: The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind and Life After a Life Crisis, The Unshakable Woman-The Workbook (the companion guide to the book) as well as 2 books recommended by Brian Tracy, Marshall Goldsmith and Jack Canfield.Debi has contributed to FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz show, TEDx, The Huffington Post, Shape, Self, Health, Working Mother, Forbes, Psychology Today, WebMD, Ladies Home Journal, Woman's World and Glamour to name a few. Her doctoral study led to three discoveries around how women experience and heal from betrayal.Based on her findings, along with 27 years of health, mindset and lifestyle coaching, Dr. Debi has created a proven multi pronged approach to help women heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from a life crisis, specializing in betrayal.FREE GIFT FROM DR. DEBI SILBER :Take the Quiz: Do You Have Post-Betrayal Syndrome? TAKE IT HERECONTACT INFO FOR DR. DEBI SILBER:Website: PBTInstitute.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: @DebiSilberFacebook: @InspireEmpowerTransformInstagram: @DebiSilberTwitter:  @DebiSilberYouTube: @DebiSilberCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#AfterBetrayal #PostTrauma #drdebisilber #beyondbetrayal #parentalbetrayal #infidelity #relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #toxicrelationships #narcissisticabuse#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #difficultconversations See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Oct 2019

39 min 51 sec

Ever feel overwhelmed? That's all too common, right?Does it seem to happen too often? Life is busy. Expectations are high. You feel pushed and pulled by different needs of different people and roles in your life. STRESS! Today, take a breather and listen in. With my guest, Brianna Wilkerson, a holistic health coach, we're giving you some great tips, strategies, insights, and next best steps to reduce stress, and detox life in all areas. Some ideas here are quick and easy. Others take time and consciousness. AND, they are all helpful. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Answers to...Why do I say toxic things about myself?Why am I so hard on myself?Why am I not satisfied with my body? How can I focus more clearly on my health?What are the seven "must-haves" for a healthy body?What mindset shifts do I need to create a healthier life?>>>>> Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you.ARE YOU--OR, HAVE YOU BEEN--IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER, EX, PARENT, OR SIBLING?Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships. All safely off social media, too!___________________________________GUEST: BRIANNA WILKERSONBrianna Wilkerson is the Founder/CEO of Made Well 345, LLC. She is a Holistic Health & Life Coach with a heart to see women learn what healthy living really means so they can overcome yo-yo dieting, honor their bodies and get a healthy body they love and are proud of. She is also an Essential Oils Advocate for doTERRA Essential Oils and empowers women to use non-toxic, natural solutions like essential oils for their health and those they love. She is also a Crossfit Level 1 Trainer to further serve women who want to get fit in a way that's functional, fun, and effective.FREE GIFT FROM BRIANNA WILKERSON :7 Day Healthy Body Challenge:Free 7 Day Challenge to learn how you can honor your body and get a healthy body you are proud of. GET IT HERE.CONTACT INFO FOR BRIANNA WILKERSON:Website: MadeWell345.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: @Brianna-WilkersonFacebook: @MadeWell345Instagram: @MadeWell345Twitter:  @MadeWell345YouTube: @MadeWell345CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#BriannaWilkerson #holistichealthcoach #healthierbody #wanttofeelbetter #detoxmylife#relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #toxicrelationships#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #difficultconversations See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Oct 2019

42 min 50 sec

Oh, a little--maybe, an understatement--controversy here! You'll want to weigh in in the comments, I'm betting. Elliott Katz, today's guest, suggests that today's man is confused about his role in a relationship. Could be. What do you think? Of course, we talked about this at length. When I read Katz' book, Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants, I had big reactions and equally big questions that I could hardly wait to ask him. My sense was that there is a subtext of taking charge in the relationship--and, not always in mutual ways. So, I asked about that. I wanted to know if he could embrace my idea that healthy relationships are built on equality, reciprocity, and mutuality. Hmmmm....interesting conversation! Katz says, " Men today have heard a bewildering messages about being a man in a relationship and can't understand why these ideas aren't working and women are so frustrated with them. Elliott Katz shares insights about being a man that many men today weren't taught. Interestingly, women tell men, "These is what I have been trying to tell you all this time." That sparked a big conversation for sure! I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this episode. Join in and like my Facebook page and comment: https://www.facebook.com/Emotional-Savvy-The-Relationship-Help-Show-2309873335890968/?modal=admin_todo_tour HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What Elliott Katz means by a "strong man"A controversial view on decision-making for couplesDifficulties men have to calibrate the difference between leading and controllingKatz' view on manipulationThreats are not suitable communication >>>>> Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you.ARE YOU--OR, HAVE YOU BEEN--IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER, EX, PARENT, OR SIBLING?Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships. All safely off social media, too!___________________________________GUEST: ELLIOTT KATZElliott Katz is the author of Being the Strong Man A Woman Wants: Timeless wisdom on being a man that is helping men around the world improve their relationships. It has been translated into 24 languages by publishers in Europe, Asia, Latin America and Africa. For men who can't understand why women are frustrated with them, he shows them what they need to do to gain a woman's love and respect and inspire her to be his partner.FREE GIFT ELLIOTT KATZ :Not at this time. CONTACT INFO FOR ELLIOTT KATZ:Website: ElliottKatz.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elliott.katz.9 Instagram:Twitter:  YouTube: CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#ElliottKatz #strongmen #relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #toxicrelationships#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #difficultconversations See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sep 2019

38 min 29 sec

Is positive self-talk always positive? is it effective? Does positive self-talk have any downsides? Can it always work? Important questions, and today's guest, Dr. Marcia Reynolds, has given this a tremendous amount of thought and consideration. Such valuable work! Dr. Reynolds says, "Rationalizing and defending your behavior keeps you nestled in a safe and suffocating world. Mustering the courage to say, "Yes!" in the face of fear is a great gift to give yourself." (from her book, OutSmart Your Brain: How to Manage Your Mind When Emotions Take the Wheel. In today's episode, we talk about conversations with yourself and with others that demonstrate respect, and positive intentions. Why is that so important? Find out. Listen in. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What it means to "outsmart your brain"What is "The Discomfort Zone"?Why we often prefer a safe, suffocating worldWhen and why positive self-talk is ineffectiveThree ways to mentally prepare for a difficult conversationWhat's Dr. Reynolds' AID model and how to use it >>>>> Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you.ARE YOU--OR, HAVE YOU BEEN--IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER, EX, PARENT, OR SIBLING?Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships. All safely off social media, too!___________________________________GUEST: DR. MARCIA REYNOLDS Dr. Marcia Reynolds, Master Certified Coach, is fascinated by the brain, especially what triggers feelings of connection, commitment, and possibility. She draws on her research as she helps people make their difficult conversations become a difference-making experience. She has provided executive coaching, leadership and personal development training programs, and keynote speaking in 41 countries. This highly sought-after behavioral scientist is happily obsessed with uncovering the latest discoveries in neuro/behavioral research and putting them into practical applications. With a doctoral degree in Psychology, and two master’s degrees in Adult Learning and Communications, Marcia’s expertise ranges from holding powerful conversations to activating the emotions of passion and courage at work and at home. Dr. Reynolds is the Training Director for the Healthcare Coaching Institute at Virginia Tech. She was the 5th global president of the International Coach Federation. She is also faculty for the International Coach Academy in Russia and Create China Coaching in China. She is recognized by the Global Gurus as the #3 coach in the world. Interviews and excerpts from Marcia’s books -- Outsmart Your Brain: How to Manage Your Mind When Emotions Take the Wheel; The Discomfort Zone: How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations into Breakthrough; and Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction have appeared in many places including Psychology Today, Fast Company, Forbes.com, The Globe and Mail, and The Wall Street Journal. When you face difficult conversations, Dr. Reynolds can help you flip defensiveness, create rapport, and connect in more meaningful ways. When she has the opportunity to be home, Marcia can often be found hiking the beautiful mountains in Arizona. You can learn more about Dr. Reynolds on her website, www.outsmartyourbrain.comFREE GIFT FROM DR. MARCIA REYNOLDS :ebook: From the Pits to the Peak: A new look at making life changes GET IT HERE.CONTACT INFO FOR DR. MARCIA REYNOLDSWebsite: OutsmartYourBrain.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: @MarciaReynoldsFacebook: @OutsmartYourBrainInstagram: Twitter:  @BMarciaReynoldsYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/MarciaReynoldsCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #toxicrelationships#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #outsmartyourbrain #drmarciareynolds #positiveselftalk #difficultconversations #preparefordifficultconversation #covisioning See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sep 2019

39 min 17 sec

Kids don't always grow out of things. They grow through things!And, you need to be there to see it, understand it, and know what to do to help when things seem to be going sideways! Today's guest, Dr. Brian Licuanan, and I talk about the difficulties in seeing problems kids want to hide from us, whether we're their parent, grandparent, teacher, or coach. It's very confusing to them because their brain development is not equipped to handle so much of it. Yet, they think they should be able to.And, you as a parent, maybe think you should know what to do. You may, but if you're like most parents, you do not. You may have some ideas, but how do you get into the tough conversations with your kid?Often, when you bring up a tough subject like your teen's emotional well-being, you are met with eye-rolling, and a quick escape from the room, right? Don't give up. Today we talk about ways to engage your kid in conversation and about tough things. It's not easy, and it takes perseverance.You may need to get outside help for your family, too. Dr. Licuanan and I talk about this, and how to know when to reach out.Today's episode may be just what you need to answer the questions:"How do I bridge the gap between me and my teen?","What do I need to know about talking with my teen so I can feel helpful rather than feeling helpless?"HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:How to know the difference between enabling, condoning, and actually helping your teenLinks between self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and substance abuseWhat impacts the incidence of eating disordersWhy kids are not accessing mental health services...and, why they need toSIGNS parents need to read that their child might be struggling with addiction or mental health issues How parents can take the proper steps to get a child the help needed>>>>> Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you.ARE YOU--OR, HAVE YOU BEEN--IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER, EX, PARENT, OR SIBLING? Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships. All safely off social media, too!___________________________________GUEST: DR. BRIAN LICUANANDr. Brian Licuanan is an addiction and mental health specialist who serves as the primary therapist at premiere treatment centers, A Better Life Recovery and A Mission for Michael, treating clients with complex mental health disorders and their co-morbidities which often includes substance abuse disorders. Additionally, he successfully treats clients struggling with anxiety, depression, stress management, PTSD, ADHD, and a variety of other severe mood disorders. Furthermore, Dr. Licuanan integrates Solution-Focused, Positive Psychology/Strength-Based, and Motivational Therapies into his treatment planning with clients. Dr. Licuanan received his Ph.D and M.S from the University of Oklahoma and his M.A. from Pepperdine University.Realizing over 80% of his clients experience sleep deficiency, exacerbating their medical and psychological conditions, he specializes in treating sleep problems through Cognitive Behavioral Treatment for Insomnia (CBT-I) which is known to cure insomnia and has proven to be a highly effective course of treatment for those wanting to stop using sleep medications.Dr. Licuanan’s M.S in Industrial/Organizational Psychology–a specialized field of study dealing with workplace issues including leadership, work culture, motivation and job satisfaction, allows him to integrate this specialty into treatment for his clients struggling with career-related concerns. He also has helped coach various levels of executives and management on team-building and performance enhancement. Additionally, with his competition background in sports and as an active martial arts competitor, Dr. Licuanan has assisted numerous client athletes develop competitive mindsets, work through mental blocks, increase match readiness, and elevate their performance potentials. Personally, Dr. Licuanan is passionate about educating communities on mental health and addiction and volunteers as lead facilitator for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) specifically helping families in crisis strategize ways to get loved ones into treatment. Dr. Licuanan has been featured several times on the television talk show The Doctors and is asked to present regularly within the mental health community on addiction, ways to get highly acute clients into treatment, insomnia and sleep strategies.FREE GIFT FROM DR. BRIAN LICUANAN :Not at this time. CONTACT INFO FOR DR. BRIAN LICUANAN:Website: ABetterLifeRecovery.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: Facebook: @ABetterLifeRecoveryInstagram: @ABetterLifeRecoveryTwitter:  @BetterRecoveryYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKQs4iIknPHsdypD6EdgfvQCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #toxicrelationships#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #helpfortroubledteens #troubledteens #teendepression #teenbullying #DrBrianLicuanan #teensmentalhealth #eatingdisorder #teensubstanceabuse See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Aug 2019

45 min 29 sec

Wow! Does thinking of yourself as being UNSTOPPABLE light you up? Then, you'll love today's episode! Connie Phieff was adopted--but she didn't know it until later in life--and lived her young life a bit like Cinderella. Now, you know that's not good, right? Cook, clean, take care of the kids, repeat!How Connie overcame the pain of her past toxic life to go on and create such amazing accomplishments is inspirational. She became a leader in the community and in her own life in every way.Yes, not only did she come from a toxic home, but she went on--as most of us do--to marry a toxic person. Oh, no, that didn't stop her, either. That's where she really started developing her recipe for lemonade from all the lemons in life. She knew she needed to cleanse the negativity from life if she wanted the life she envisioned. AND, she did it!Listen as she shares her story, her vulnerabilities, her tears, and her learning. All this propelled her to the amazing successes she has now!HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why what happened to you in your young life does not have to define your adult lifeWhat it takes to turn those lemons into lemonade and succeedHow adoption and alienation played into Connie's young lifeHow you can find the confidence to live fullyThree top things that make you unstoppable...according to Connie Pheiff>>>>> Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you. ARE YOU--OR, HAVE YOU BEEN--IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A PARTNER, EX, PARENT, OR SIBLING? Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships!GUEST: CONNIE PHEIFFFrom cleaning houses to filling houses, Connie Pheiff, Philanthropist, Social Venture Entrepreneur, and #BeyondMeToo Activist is the Jewel in the Crown of the Pheiff Group, Inc. With her distinctive voice audiences everywhere know her.She is blessed from her work as a corporate CEO, award-winning speaker, Podcaster, Mentor, Coach, and author. She is provocative, edgy, and brings a genuine humor to the platform.Connie is best known as the Unstoppable DIVA; Former Corporate Executive tuned Media Industrialist. Since founding the Pheiff Group, Inc. in 2007, she has become a Social Venture Entrepreneur, producer, and host of the Connie Pheiff Show; and founder of Talent Concierge, representing the World’s most daring minds. She has authored five business books, and coming soon is her most powerful book yet, about her Unstoppable life. She is the former CEO of Girl Scouts of Penn’s Woods Council, Recipient of the Community Leadership Award (2016); and most recently received the Inspirational Woman in Media Award (2019); and Finalist for the 2018 Indie Author Legacy Award. Insights Success Magazine calls her “a symbol of Exemplary Entrepreneurship.” Connie always shares a bit of herself; a life of spectacularly epic fails. Through it all, her success hasn’t come in spite of her failures, but because of them.FREE GIFT FROM CONNIE PHEIFF : Connie is happy to give you an autographed copy of her book, Marketing Masters. If you'd like to have one, email Connie at Connie@PhieffGroup.com CONTACT INFO FOR CONNIE PHIEFF:Website: talent.concierge.coPodcasts:LinkedIn: @ConniePheiffFacebook:Connie.PheiffInstagram:@talentconcierge.coTwitter:  @ConniePheiffYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKQs4iIknPHsdypD6EdgfvQCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #toxicrelationships#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #beunstoppable #ConniePheiff #overcomingobstacles See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Aug 2019

34 min 32 sec

Got Empathy? That's one key that unlocks the willingness to enter into a problem-solving process with your partner, according to today's guest, Dr. James. L. Creighton. You need more! Dr. Creighton says: "Empathy allows us to enter into the emotional reality of our loved ones, so that even when there are differences, there is still shared experience." In today's episode, I'm asking how to keep that 'shared experience' loving, kind, and helpful. It takes willingness, skill, finesse, and interest to keep a relationship strong and growing. Dr. Creighton has been married for a very long time. He openly shares the good and not-so-good moments, and how he and his wife have weathered the difficult ones. His recent book, Loving Through Your Differences, draws on the latest research in cognitive science and developmental psychology to show how we invent our realities with our perceptual minds. He offers clear, concrete tools for shifting perceptions and reframing responses, with the result that couples move out of the fear and alienation of "your way or my way" and into a deep understanding of the other that allows for an "our way." HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why the ability to reframe is important to loving through your differencesHow Dr. Creighton's Five Minute Rule helps let off steamImportant steps in the problem-solving process that can't be missedHow to get past not agreeing with each other Do we have to share an "emotional reality" in order to stay together? >>>>> Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you. Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships!GUEST: JAMES L. CREIGHTON, PhDJames L. Creighton, PhD, is the author of Loving Through Your Differences. A psychologist and relationship consultant, he has worked with couples and conducted communications training for more than fifty years. Creighton recently developed and conducted couples conflict training for several hundred professional staff of the Thailand Department of Mental Health, based on a new Thai translation of his book, How Loving Couples Fight. He has taught throughout North America as well as in Korea, Japan, Israel, Brazil, Egypt, Russia, and the Republic of Georgia. FREE GIFT FROM JAMES CREIGHTON : Not at this time.CONTACT INFO FOR JAMES CREIGHTON:Website: JamesLCreighton.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: Facebook:Instagram: Twitter:  @NewWorldLibraryYouTube: CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each month.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #personalwholeness#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #newworldlibrary See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Jul 2019

41 min 39 sec

Dating? Is it a joy, a pleasure, a pain, or a concern? Sometimes, it's each of those, right? And, sometimes, it's just downright scary! If you've had past relationship with toxic people, or toxic relationships in your family, friends, or at work, you'll find this episode valuable. We also talk about the issues that come up when dating after divorce, AND, the ever popular subject of online dating. My guest today, Laura Richer says, "I focus on dating and romantic relationships and it is my belief that difficult relationships and people are optional. When we continually attract difficult situations to us, we must first start with doing our own inner work and see what we can do to shift this experience. I help clients cultivate self-love and self-respect so that they can attract joyous and fulfilling relationships into their lives, not difficult people and situations."HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What "authentic connection" isHow to know when you've made oneHow your self-worth affects your dating effectivenessHow you can stop attracting undesirable peopleWhy focusing on the potential of a relationship is dangerous >>>>> Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you. Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships!GUEST: LAURA RICHER Laura Richer is a certified Hypnotherapist, Life Coach, and Reiki practitioner, and the owner of Richer Healing Hypnosis, Rieki, and Life Coaching in Seattle, Washington. She is a graduate of Western Washington University. Laura is currently completing her Master's Degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Antioch University. Her Hypnotherapy and Coaching practice over the last eight plus years has specialized in supporting clients in building confidence and self-worth so that they can attract the relationship they truly desire. FREE GIFT FROM L:AURA RICHER : Not at this time.CONTACT INFO FOR LAURA RICHER: Website: DRicherLove.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: Linkedin.com/in/laura-richer-93419658Facebook: Facebook.com/CoachLauraRicherInstagram: @richer_loveTwitter: YouTube: CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos, or attend my webinars. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each moth.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#midlifedating #afraidtoloveagain #trustingagain #midliferelationshipissues #drmargaretrutherford#relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #personalwholeness#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Jun 2019

33 min 29 sec

Are you a little shy about dating, or moving into a new relationship after a divorce? What if you've been married once or twice? Do you have confidence to date again? Do you have confidence in choosing a new partner after divorce? OK! Yes, there are a few fear-inspiring issues about dating again after a divorce, right? Can I trust a new person?Can I trust myself?Will you see red flags?When am I ready for emotional intimacy? When do I consider moving to the bedroom and sexual intimacy?What do I need to talk about to help a new partner understand me?When do I talk about my past relationships? Oh, yes! A few things to consider, for sure. That's why this fabulous conversation with Dr. Margaret Rutherford is so valuable--and practical--for you to listen to right now...and to share with your friends who are thinking about dating again. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What you need to discuss with a new partnerWhen is the right time to talk about your past relationshipsHow to approach dating again, especially after a difficult, toxic relationshipAging is real. How to talk about all that.What about boundaries?How do you solve problems in a new relationship >>>>> Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you. Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships!GUEST: DR. MARGARET RUTHERFORDDr. Margaret Rutherford, a clinical psychologist, has practiced for twenty-six years in Fayetteville, Arkansas., Her work can be found at DrMargaretRutherford.com, where she blogs weekly, as well as HuffPost, Psych Central, The Mighty, the Gottman Blog and others. She hosts a weekly podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Her new book, Perfectly Hidden Depression, will be published by New Harbinger in 2019.Dr. Margaret as she's known to her followers decided to extend the walls of her practice almost 7 years ago and now blogs and podcasts about her ideas on depression, perfectionism and its antidote -- vulnerability. Her podcast has earned more than half a million downloads as people are tuning in to learn more about therapy and what makes real change happen.FREE GIFT FROM DR. RUTHERFORD: Not at this time.CONTACT INFO FOR DR. MARGARET RUTHERFORD Website: DrMargaretRutherford.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: Facebook: Facebook.com/DrMargaretRutherfordInstagram: DrMargaretRutherfordTwitter: YouTube: CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos, or attend my webinars. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each moth.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#midlifedating #afraidtoloveagain #trustingagain #midliferelationshipissues #drmargaretrutherford #relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #personalwholeness#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Jun 2019

40 min 57 sec

Sometimes, we learn out greatest lessons by going through terrible pain and trauma.It's never "worth it," in my opinion. But, it does change us, and can be the catalyst for our insights and growth. So, in that sense, we can be grateful for it.How that change shows up is in our attitude, understanding, and often in the quality of help we get to heal.You may find some sad similarities in what Joy shares with the story of your relationship with a #Hijackal. For instance:Do you feel imprisoned?Held hostage?Physically abused?Drugged?Joy shares her story and insights about moving through and past these terrible experiences in order to have a fulfilling life.Her journey through pain to a rich life with an amazing, supportive partner is inspiring. Today, we also talk about her long-time partner, love, and husband, and their cross-cultural marriage...and, all the learning she has to offer. See the highlights below!NOTE: I need to put a WORD in here: In my opinion, not everything that Joy shares May be directly applicable to your relationships with #Hijackals. Think about that, and ask me if you're wondering, by joining in at OptimizeCircles.com in the discussion threads. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:how fear is an important factor to look deeply into for your healingwhy it is essential to reconnect with yourself at deep levelshow to find compassion, love, and wisdom to have it work for youlearning to let go, and the results it createsthe learning curve of marrying into a different culture...and, the joysJoy's transformational process>>>>> Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you. Join my OptimizeCircles.com and get the insights and support you want--safely off social media and it works just like Facebook! Many other free & low-cost resources to help your relationships!GUEST: JOY IDRIES,Joy Idries certainly knows from personal experience how to move beyond struggle, fear, suffering and pain in her life and relationships to lasting freedom, happiness and joy. Her forthcoming book, “Goodbye Suffering Hello Joy” describes her experience of coming through various abusive relationships and the after effects of decades of chronic and life-threatening illness and how it is possible for others to move through it too. The moment she moved out of suffering and found her joy was when her ‘WHY’ was born, to help many thousands break free from the chains of suffering, to unleash their own true freedom and joy.Her deep experiential wisdom and expertise as a therapeutic counsellor, international Inner Journey facilitator and spiritual teacher serve perfectly in enabling others to create a radical shift for themselves and their relationships, right from the inside out. FREE GIFT FROM JOY:Read her ebook, How to 'Be' in a Relationship: Taking a deeper look at what relationship issues are all about, HERECONTACT INFO FOR JOY IDRIESWebsite: TrulyTransformational.co.ukPodcasts:LinkedIn: @JoyIdriesFacebook: Facebook.com/TrulyTransformationalInstagram: Twitter: @LightanjoyYouTube: CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos, or attend my webinars. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each moth.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#childhoodtrauma #emotionalneeds #trulytransformational #joyidries #crossculturalmarriage#relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #personalwholeness#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

May 2019

46 min 20 sec

A comment complaint I hear in my practice--especially, of course, from people who have #Hijackal parents, partners, or exes, is that S/HE IS NOT EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE! I belong to many groups on Facebook, and this is a common complaint there, too. "I'm attentive, collaborative, loving, nurture, and even compliant, and my partner just doesn't give anything back!" Early on in a relationship that seems to be going somewhere good, you're affected by limerence. Dr. Marni talks about this in today's episode, that warm feeling when you're falling love, in lust, or infatuation. She says it's like being on cocaine. (I'm sure she's guessing about that, right? lol)So, if you're ready to hear the truth about how you may have found yourself with an emotionally unavailable partner, you'll be fascinated by today's topic. Oh, dear! Are you responding by becoming emotionally unavailable yourself? We talk about why you don't want to fall into that trap....and, why it doesn't work, either! >>>>> Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you. Many free & low-cost resources to help your relationships!GUEST: DR. MARNI FEUERMANMarni Feuerman, MSW, PsyD, is a licensed psychotherapist, author, speaker and workshop presenter. As a nationally recognized relationship expert, she is a sought-after media contributor and syndicated freelance writer with content on numerous online media outlets including HuffoPo, Time, Marth Stewart Weddings, MSN and more. Dr. Marni's debut self-help book is titled, Ghosted and Breadcrumbed: Stop Falling for Unavailable Men and Get Smart about Healthy Relationships (published by New World Library). She wrote this book for women who struggle with repetitive and unhealthy relationship patterns with men. Dr. Marni lives in the South Florida area with her husband and twin daughters. She maintains a private practice where she works extensively with distressed couples and individuals with relationship struggles. In her spare time, she enjoys playing with her rescue dogs, cooking, yoga, and traveling.  FREE GIFT FROM DR. MARNI: Watch her webinar, Why You Keep Repeating Unhealthy Relationship Patterns" and get her bonus checklist, "Is He Emotionally Available," when you SUBSCRIBE.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:How to tell if someone is emotionally available...although, I'm pretty sure you know, right?Is it actually increasing? Are more people emotionally unavailable now?How we define 'emotional unavailability". The impact of having emotionally unavailable parentsTips for dealing with an emotionally unavailable partnerHow limerence affects our judgment in choosing a partnerand...why some women choose to stay in secret relationships with married men! CONTACT INFO FOR DR. MARNI FEUERMANWebsite:: TheTalkingSolution.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: @MarniFeuermanFacebook: @DrMarniFeuermanInstagram: Twitter: @DrMarniFeuermanYouTube: CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos, or attend my webinars. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each moth.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#emotionallyunavailable #emotionalneeds #drmarnifeuerman #emotionallyimmature #relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #personalwholeness#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

May 2019

35 min 40 sec

What allows for growth of intimacy? You want an emotionally rich, intimate relationship. You'll never find it--in any healthy fashion--if you're needy. That's why you need to do your own work first! You know I talk about "doing your own work" first frequently. It's because you need to be the healthiest you can be to attract--and sustain--a healthy, emotionally intimate relationship. You simply cannot do it if you are needy! (If you want to work on this, I can help.)Today, I'm talking once again with Rabbi Manis Friedman. He brought such great information to you in an episode with him a few months ago, and I could hardly wait to talk with him again to bring you more good stuff!You have real needs, and one of those is for love. That's the way it is with this being human business!But, it's the "not needy" part of you that can attract a healthy, emotionally available partner!Why does Rabbi Mannis Friedman talk so much about humility? What does it mean? What does humility in a relationship look like? It is an important ingredient in an emotionally intimate relationship. He'll tell you why today.Do you believe--and understand--what Rabbi Friedman says?"I'll never fix myself at your expense."You'll want to understand that fully, and he explains it well today.>>>>>> Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you. Many free & low-cost resources to help your relationships!GUEST: RABBI MANIS FRIEDMAN, author of The Joy of Intimacy, and celebrated host of the cable television series, Torah Forum with Manis Friedman, syndicated throughout North America World-renowned author, counselor, lecturer, and philosopher, Rabbi Manis Friedman uses ancient wisdom and modern wit as he captivates audiences around the country and the world. Over 150,000 copies of his provocative yet entertaining tapes, both audio and video, have been sold. His first book, Doesn't Anyone Blush Anymore? was widely praised by the media and is now in its fourth printing. He has been featured internationally and has appeared on more than 50 television and radio talk shows. Rabbi Friedman has helped thousands with his deep understanding of the human spirit and simplified common sense tips for our daily lives. A father of 14, and a great-grandfather, Rabbi Friedman spends his time traveling the world, lecturing on the topic of relationships. He says,"Intimacy is an art."HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:The difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy relationshipWhat is real emotional growthWhy you are wise to work at releasing the needy part of youThe big difference between "being needy" and "needing to share" my life with anotherWhy it's important to do no harmWhy the focus has to be on making your partner's life betterRabbi Friedman's three steps that shift businesses into growthCONTACT INFO FOR RABBI MANIS FRIEDMANWebsite:: TheJoyofIntimacy.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: @Manis-FriedmanFacebook: @Manis-FriedmanInstagram: Twitter: @Manis-FriedmanYouTube: CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos, or attend my webinars. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each moth.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#intimacy #emotionalintimacy #dontbeneedy #tooneedy #RabbiManisFriedman #joyofintimacy#relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #healthyrelationship #personalwholeness#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Apr 2019

45 min 26 sec

TOO MUCH BULLYING! TOO MANY TEEN SUICIDES! This needs to stop, and we need to do whatever we can to stop bullying now, and intervene with bullying victims immediately. Did you ever imagine that the internet would be so full of stories of bullying? And, then, did you think that the next thing would be too many teen suicides? Yes, it's a natural progression, but what a nasty one!And, hey, parents! Are you teaching your children not to bully others?Are you validating your child's self-worth at home, so they go out in the world with the self-esteem that allows them to interact in healthy ways?Do you give your children your attention for who they are and not just for what they do?That's your job!Here's a few startling facts:Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young peopleBully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victimsA study in Britain found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullyingAccording to statistics reported by ABC News, nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullyingIn the US, ABC News reported that 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of fear of bullyinghttp://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/bullying-and-suicide.html>>>>>> Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page for you. Many free & low-cost resources to help your relationships! Today, Dr. Aaron Smith is here to help our audience learn how to help students in school from building relationships to changing their current situation from becoming a statistic to becoming a story.GUEST: DR. AARON L. SMITH, Best-selling Author of Awakening Your STEM School, and of the upcoming, BLANK CHECK: Recreating America's Broken Schools Dr. Aaron L. Smith is an expert with STEM and workplace readiness and is known around the world for his work. He assists schools, company leaders and communities to work together to develop and sustain a pipeline of competent and job-ready employees. A 2008 graduate of Old Dominion University with a Doctorate in Educational Leadership, Dr. Aaron L. Smith has over two decades of experience in the classroom as a mathematics teacher and administrator. Aaron has developed a passion for workplace readiness and STEM where he has shared his knowledge as an adjunct professor at Old Dominion University and Christopher Newport University. He and his work has been referenced over 30 times from Catcat to Teachthought.com. A Best-Selling Author of “Awakening Your STEM School”, and a future book coming out in 2019, “Blank Check: Recreating America’s Broken Schools.” Dr. Aaron L. Smith is now an expert consultant for school districts, leading communities, and individual schools to transform their educational systems to initiates, grow & sustain the creation of a pipeline of workforce-ready graduates thanks to his five-point STEMS initiative.Aaron’s passion for workplace readiness and STEM has been shared on the local, state and national levels. He’s received the WHRO Technology Administrator Award and the Crystal Star Award from the National Dropout Prevention Center. Besides the numerous accolades, Dr. Aaron L. Smith’s proudest achievements are being married to wife and being a dad to his three kids who challenge him to reach for the stars every day.Aaron has also been directly responsible for his former school receiving many workplace readiness related honors from becoming a PRIME School recognized by the Society of Manufactured Engineers Education Foundation to the awarding of over three-quarters of a million dollars in grants in just over four years. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:How to help kids who are experiencing a tough time in schoolHow to help kids feel more comfortable to talk with you as an educatorWhat to do and say when teens pretend to be disinterested in everything...especially in what you have to sayWays to improve parent-teacher conferences to talk about difficult thingsWhat to do when trying to help students in critical situationsHow to know when, as an educator, you need to call in an agency like Child Protective ServicesHow to capture the interest of students in STEM subjects: science, technology, engineering, and mathematics and how Dr. Smith's school did a masterful jobCONTACT INFO FOR DR. AARON SMITHWebsite:: https://WR.SolutionsPodcasts:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/WorkplaceReadinessSolutionsFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/SworkplacereadinesssolutionsInstagram: Twitter: https://twitter.com/WorkReadinessYouTube: CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?Be first to get my videos, or attend my webinars. Even, two group Ask Me Anything calls each moth.You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#aaronlsmith #STEMschool #kidsintrouble #parentteacherconference #workreadinesssolutions #education#relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #self-love#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Mar 2019

50 min 35 sec

Escaping the Hijackal Trap! That's the name of one of my books, AND the focus of today's interview with Stephani Roberts.First, you have to recognize you're in a #Hijackal trap, right? Then, you have to move on to find your best next steps. Today, Stephani Roberts shares her journey from first recognition that she was in an emotionally abusive relationship--and the red flags she originally overlooked--to the realization that for the emotional safety of herself and her girls, she needed to remove herself from the toxic relationship. Brave move! And, not without it's perils!>>>>>> Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page! <<<<<<<

Mar 2019

37 min 15 sec

Any chance you have "stuff?" Or, whatever you prefer to call it! Maybe, you've had it for awhile, and you're attached to it.Maybe, you are always saying you're going to deal with it.Maybe, you just inherited it from parents who have passed.Maybe, it's a HUGE energy leak, and every time you think about it, you want to run away!Maybe, today is the day it will all make sense how to go about deciding what stays and what goes, what you keep and what you release.>>>>>> Don't miss all the good stuff at the bottom of this page! <<<<<<<

Mar 2019

47 min 11 sec

Wow! Seventy three episodes and I'm finally talking about what Emotional Savvy means.You know that "to be savvy" means that you know what's up and what's going on. You're awake, aware, and alert. You're "with it!"Great! You may have the practical knowledge, but it's not much use if it's not applied. Relationships require emotional savvy. Otherwise, you don't make good judgments. You don't see what's really going on, and maybe prefer denial. Not much emotional savvy there, right?Emotional savvy covers all areas that impact our emotional lives: mental, intellectual, spiritual, financial, health, well-being, relationships--everything that impacts making our way in the world. So, some good things to think about in the first segment, for sure!GUEST: Kerri Hummingbird, SoulGuideKerri Hummingbird has served as a social activist, leader, and philanthropist for over three decades. She is the founder of the Skills Not Pills Movement, and Host of the Soul Nectar show. Ms. Hummingbird inspires people to lead their lives wide awake, with an authenticity, passion, and purpose that positively impacts others.She catalyzes mind-shifts that transform life challenges into gifts of wisdom with her Reinvent Yourself programs for individual and group mentoring. She is the author of the award-winning best-selling book, Awaken to Me: One Woman's Journey to Self Love."She says, "Your life is for YOU. Live it how you CHOOSE. It's your secret conversation with the DIVINE."You'll get a new perspective from Kerry, for sure. Lovely conversation. Inspiring and motivating.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What it means to Kerry Hummingbird to be "wide awake" in the shamanic waysHow to shift life's challenges into gifts of wisdom that serve you wellWhat the impact of the message "If I leave, I'll be bad" is, and how to change itHow to reduce your fear so you can see relationships more clearlyWhy it's important to get into the flow of life energetically, how fear gets in the way, and how to reduce fearKerri's gift to you: Ebook, :Reinvent Yourself: Indulge Your Deepest Desires By Becoming Who You Are Starving To Be" GET IT HERE.CONNECT WITH KERRI HUMMINGBIRD:Website: KerriHummingbird.comTwitter:  @KerriHummingbirdFacebook: Facebook.com/Kerri.Hummingbird.Author.Speaker.SoulGuideLinkedIn: LinkedIn.comInstagram: KerriHummingbirdCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #KerriHummingbird #healingenergy #self-love#narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Feb 2019

52 min 21 sec

Why are we so reluctant to call it abuse? Today's episode starts with my response to this question. Of course, no one wants to think of themselves as being abused. So, you justify it, rationalize, and make excuses for it. Sometimes, you even decide it's your own fault! WRONG! And, I'll explain why today.Verbal abuse and emotional abuse start small, usually. You write it off as someone "having a bad day" or "going through a rough patch." Then, you want to avoid looking at the overall patterns that are developing, right? That would mean one more thing to face in a life that's getting more difficult by the day. So, you don't.Not a good idea! Best to wake up as early as possible, call it the abuse that it is, and make it stop. I've talked about this in so many episodes and I invite you to go through them and find the ones that are most like your situations and give them a listen now.GUEST: April Giaque, author of Pinpoints of Light: Escaping the Abyss of AbuseApril Tribe Giaque, escaped the abyss of abuse and she's written about it in her recent book. She has experienced homelessness with her five children--three who have Autism--following her escape. Yet, she remained focused and earned her Master's degree after leaving domestic violence. She took her knowledge and experience with Autism and now helps puzzled parents, teachers, and administrators to find support, social skills and inclusion for those with Autism, helping them to thrive in school, social settings, and life.April is remarried to Scott and has four more children (two who are also deaf) with him. She is now the mother of nine. April has taken her pinpoints of light and turned it into a Beacon of Light to enlighten and illuminate the world.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Imagine finding that your husband has an imaginary business partner that all the money is going to!When something slips from a potential personality disorder to a mental illnessWhere the definition of your worth and value arises fromApril's take on the power of clarityInsights into what might be going on in your relationship...that you may not want to see.CONNECT WITH APRIL TRIBE GIAQUE:Website: AprilTribe.comTwitter:  @AprilTribeFacebook: Facebook.com/AprilTribeGiaqueAuthorLinkedIn: LinkedIn.comInstagram: CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#relationshipadvice #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #escapingabuse #recognizingabuse #AprilGiaque #PinpointsofLight See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Feb 2019

38 min 26 sec

DIVORCE! Many people fear that process. Others welcome it. Where are you on this spectrum? Is there really a right to divorce? Is there a wrong way to divorce?What makes the difference?WHO makes the difference?My guest, Jennifer Hurvitz, is the best selling author of the novella, One Happy Divorce, and winner of the Best Television Episode Screenplay Aware at the Atlanta Comedy Film Festival for her TV pilot based off her blog, The Truth Hurvitz.Jennifer's readers describe her as "raw and in-your-face" and they're right!(P.S. Jennifer agreed to keep the "raw" down for our interview today. Thanks, Jennifer! )But, no, Jennifer didn't stop at her highly successful book. She's popped out a new one just in time for Valentine's Day. It's called Woulda. Coulda. Shoulda: A Divorce Coach's Guide to Staying Married! Now, isn't that ironic! See, that's why you'll want to listen to this episode!Jennifer says that "Just like being happily married takes work, so does being happily divorced. If you put your egos aside, and your kids first...it is not impossible." Big thoughts to wrestle with...and, it's a fun interview!HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What is the wrong way to divorce...or is there one?Getting on with the divorce once you've decided there will be oneWhat to consider in the "shall I go or shall I stay" debateHow to be respectful in the divorce processTips for putting your kids first ...and keeping it that wayWhat if your partner is not an emotional grown-upCONNECT WITH JENNIFER HURVITZ:Website: JenniferHurvitz.comTwitter:  @TheTruthHurvitzFacebook: Facebook.com/JenniferHurvitzBizLinkedIn: LinkedIn.comInstagram: Instagram.com/JenniferHurvitzBizCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#divorce #doingdivorceright #JenniferHurvitz #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #emotionalintimacy See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Feb 2019

39 min 55 sec

Men and Women. How different are men and women from one another? What about the research on the differences between men's and women's brains? How does this play out in behavior?What you need to know first!You'll hear fascinating perspectives from today's guest, so I've opened this episode with some actual, researched facts about the differences in the brains of men and women. You might be surprised what this high-level, long-term research from Stanford University.When you look at all the information on the differences between the brains of men and women, you'll see everything from "there is no difference" to "there are huge differences." I decided to look to well-regarded studies to bring you a whole lot of well-documented differences in my introduction to the show.GUEST: Robert Manni. Host of Guy's Guy Radio, Novelist, Former CEO My guest today, Robert Manni, is the host of Guy's Guy Radio, and author of The Guys' Guy's Guide to Love, praised as the "men's successor to Sex and the City." That book has been developed into two feature-length adapted screenplays, a scripted television series, and a series of non-scripted Guy's Guy show concepts.I ask Robert "Why now? What makes a Guy's Guy?" He said:"There's never been a better time for men to be whoever they want to be. Yet, it's also never been less clear who men really are. The Guy's Guy platform redefines and re-imagines modern men with a fresh approach of timely content across media platforms.Whether it's navigating modern dating and relationships, bonding, male friendships, or men's wellness and spirituality, Robert makes it a point to share his insights and possibilities for the modern man's emancipation and success through his "Guy's Guy" lens.Robert's varied background includes writing for and advertising campaigns for many of the world's leading brands, and also being an energy worker with master certifications in Reiki and hypnosis.So, I've asked Robert as many questions as I could that I thought you would want answers to. Look at these highlights...HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why is the best time for a man to be whomever he wants to be?Why is a "guy's guy?"How do you think roles are defined in today's world between men and women?Is there a growing chasm between men and women?What about men and emotional IQ?CONNECT WITH ROBERT MANNI:Website: RobertManni.comTwitter:  @RobertManniFacebook: Facebook.com/ManniLinkedIn: LinkedIn.comInstagram: Instagram.com/RobertManniCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#mentoday #communicationwithmen #Phonesinrelationships #RobertKandell #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #emotionalintimacy #mensbrains #womensbrains #robertmann #guysguyradio #KCOR See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Jan 2019

43 min 6 sec

Would you like more peace of mind? Do you let other people steal your peace of mind? Then, today's episode will be of great interest to you!Do you feel badly when you think you're judging?Do you catch yourself judging other people's motives?Do you know the difference between judgment, discernment, and observation?In today's episode, those are the things I talk about before the interview. So worthwhile thinking about! You may be beating yourself up for no good reasons, and that's worth finding out by listening, right?GUEST: Shanthi Yogini, Former Software Engineer & Founder of Yoga for Happiness AcademyShanthi Yogini is an internationally recognized exponent on the ancient science of Yoga. Her ideal students are spiritual seekers and aspiring leaders willing to liberate Yoga from being chained to fitness exercises and learn spirituality and spiritual leadership through Yoga.Shanthi offers training for independent 2-minute Yoga practices in order to be liberated from any limitation--physically, mentally, intellectually, and socially. She offers eye-opening presentations of Yoga, not just as a solution for life problems, but as a path to live to one's highest potential. She is a former software engineer, and now if the founder of the Yoga for Happiness Academy, where Yoga is learned as a science in its authentic, pristine, and purest form in-person, online, and via digital media.Through the various aspects of Yoga, Shanthi's clients become free from depression and gain clarity in life. They are trained to feel whole and complete with themselves first in order to heal their relationship with their loved one. She is also a trained classical dancer, storyteller, interactive workshop presenter, and art and culture educator. She uses story creation and story narration through dance as a means of healing past hurts of her students.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:How you can become more responsive and less reactiveFinding inner peace to create outer peaceWhy peace of mind is elusiveHow using affirmations can center yourselfHow yoga can help you stay calm when arguments get messyWhat to do with your own toxic feelingsCONNECT WITH SHANTHI YOGINI: Website: YogaForHappiness.comTwitter:  @YogaToHappinessFacebook: Facebook.com/YogaForHappinessAcademyLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/ShanthiYogaForHappinessInstagram: CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#mentoday #communicationwithmen #Phonesinrelationships #RobertKandell #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #peaceofmind #yoga #yogaforhappiness See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Jan 2019

46 min 11 sec

Is life confusing for men these days? Are men confusing to you these days? So, what's this all about? Why are men and women confused about the roles of men? Or, are they? My guest thinks they are!Personally, I think that there is much confusion over roles, and that they are fluid in each family. It's a BIG, IMPORTANT conversation for every couple to have before they get married: to learn about each other, talk about values, vision for life, beliefs, and goals. Talk about how those values will play out in the roles each of you want, and/or accept, BY AGREEMENT.Making agreements requires willingness to communicate deeply. Now, we're getting into the thorny issues about why these issues can all be too fuzzy. People don't want to talk about difficult things. They want to stay with their fantasies about a life together all magically working out. It doesn't.It's not news that you have to consciously work on your relationship. You have to work on it and at it. You have to be present, and willing to talk, change, grow together.Listen in to this fascinating conversation, and see what questions it leaves you with. You can ask them by liking my Facebook page, Relationship Help Shows, and we can talk there.If you want my help directly, we can do that, too.GUEST: Robert Kandell, Coach, Lecturer, Consultant My guest today, Robert Kandell, hailed as “part football coach, part loving dad, and part slightly crazed drill sergeant”, has spent the last 20 years helping people re energize their lives and build better relationships and sex through authentic connection and honest communication.After building a successful consulting firm in San Francisco, he then took his business acumen and co-founded One Taste (orgasmic meditation) in 2004. Taking on the challenging task of bringing conscious sexuality to the mainstream market. He left OneTaste in 2014 to start his own consulting firm, Kandell Consulting, which helps small businesses become marketable and profitable.Robert is also an accomplished coach, and lecturer with over 400 workshops under his belt. He also brings his enthusiasm and passion to his weekly podcast, Tuff Love (over 100k downloads) on subjects around relationships, intimacy, sex, communication and gender dynamics.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why men are so obsessed with their phonesWhat Robert Kandell means by a "chasm of intimacy"Why he says "aggrieved entitlement" is what causes your man to withdrawWhat Robert thinks about the idea that the #MeToo movement causes men to be scaredHow women can encourage men to speak about their anger CONNECT WITH ROBERT KANDELL:Website: RobertKandell.comTwitter:  @RobertKandellFacebook: Facebook.com/Robert.KandellLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RobertKandellInstagram: Instagram.com/Robert.KandellCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#mentoday #communicationwithmen #Phonesinrelationships #RobertKandell #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #emotionalintimacy # See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Jan 2019

44 min 16 sec

Are you dating? Have you kissed more than your fair share of frogs? Today's episode will help you stop doing that. Really!Although it's addressed to women, MEN, you need to listen in, too. You need to know this!Women, are you with a man who won't protect your name and won't protect the relationship, either. Any chance that he won't profess you to his friends, proudly tell his friends about you?Yes? Believe me, then: HE'S NOT SERIOUS. And, don't believe he is! That's what I'm taking about in the first part of today's episode.Of course, casual dating is different from creating a long-term relationship. The relationship help I'm offering is what you need before you make the shift from casual to serious. You need to think about these things, FOR SURE!GUEST: Ronnie Ann Ryan, Love and Dating CoachRonnie Ann Ryan has worked with successful women who have a hot career, but a chilly love life for over sixteen years. She shows you how to overcome obstacles and attract high-quality men with easy, proven strategies.You'll discover how to better understand men to reduce frustration in dating, reduce confusion, and to stop spending time with the wrong guy.Ronnie Ann is the author of the Amazon bestseller, Is He the One? Find Mr. Right by Spotting Mr. Wrong, and three other books. She has been featured by ABC, NBC, and Fox News, as well as the BBC, NPR, the Huffington Post, and eHarmony.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Easily identifiable behaviors that tell you you're wasting your time with the wrong guyWhat about texting when dating? What's its place?One big thing you have to admit that just might be happening and you're putting up with itHow to know if he's interested, or just biding time until something better comes alongWhat red flags are you missing? (You may not have thought of these.)What the 5 MUST-HAVES are to know that this guy may be a keeperFREE GIFT FROM RONNIE ANN RYAN: ebook: 12 First Date Mistakes That Ruin Your Chances for Love GET IT HERE! CONNECT WITH RONNIE ANN RYAN: Website: NeverTooLate.bizTwitter:  @RonnieAnnRyanFacebook: Facebook.com/RonnieAnnRyanDatingCoachLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RonnieAnnRyanInstagram:CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?You can. Join my Optimize Circles! CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #emotionalintimacy #datingtips #datingthewrongman #datingredflags #RonnieAnnRyan See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Jan 2019

49 min 12 sec

Wow! It's 2019. Happy New Year! Did you make New Year's Resolutions?Are any the same as last year?Oops! Why is that? Why do we make resolutions and let them drop?Or, say we want something to happen in our lives, and do little to get it?Or, say we believe something, and not demonstrate it by living it?Today's show is about actually taking the steps necessary to live the life you most want. Yes, really!Whether you call them goals, intentions, desires, or purposes doesn't really matter. What does matter is that you have thought them through, know they're for you, and take steps to actually bring them into your life. And, sometimes, we do...and, sometimes, we don't.Why? Is there a better way to achieve your goals? Can you have a the life you envision? YES!Today, I'm giving some insights into how to achieve what you want in your life, relationships, health, family, and career.TODAY'S GUEST: ASHLEY LOGSDON, Podcast host of MamaSaysNamaste.com and amazing creator of the life she wants with her familyAshley helps families move from chaos and reaction mode to living a life of intention and not waiting for "one day" to truly thrive. Through her podcast, blogging, coaching and personality "snapshots," she provides tools and action steps to aid families in creating a life they love to come home to.With her husband and podcast co-host, three unschooling daughters and a dog, Ashley is RVing the United States full-time. They focus on authenticity, awareness, and embracing love in the present moment.Ashely says, "Pay attention to who you are, and learn what your strengths are and what triggers negative reactions. Then look beyond to your family. The more we recognize how we tick, the more grace we have for others. And, ultimately, we find that the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us." You'll want to hear this! Ashley has a very CHOSEN LIFESTYLE, and it may inspire you to embrace your vision for your life, too. It sure made me think!HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What it takes to decide to live your life according to your values, no matter what other people think.What might be stopping you for stepping into your life, living the goals and intentions you desire.How you can create a sanctuary in your own home.What you can do to not get trapped in toxicity, in your home, your relationships, and your life.Inspiration to live the life you envision, even though it may seem difficult, or even impossible, right this minuteFREE GIFTS FROM ASHLEY LOGSDON:Two free printables to post as reminders for keeping the "Namaste" mindset, along with some guidelines for creating your life based on your family vision, as Ashley's family has: DOWNLOAD THEM HERE. CONNECT WITH ASHLEY LOGSDONWebsite: MamaSaysNamaste.comTwitter:  @NamasteMamaRoseFacebook: Facebook.com/MamaSaysNamasteLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/AshleyLogsdon Instagram: CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerWANT ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS, MORE SUPPORT, AND A COMMUNITY TO BE A PART OF? JOIN MY "OPTIMIZE CIRCLES" HERE. P.S. You can join for the cost of a latte for a whole month. Who wouldn't want that? And, safely off Facebook, too. You can. CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #achievegoals #familymission See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Jan 2019

46 min 58 sec

Today's episode is so important: a required ingredient for a great relationship! And, it may not be what you think.We all live, work, or play with other humans, and we know it sometimes takes more skills than at other times. Some people are more work. Some people are toxic and you need to recognize that right away, and steer clear!And, you may think that your past relationships define you. They can, but I hope they do not!It's not rocket science to understand that your early training continues to play out in your life. What we got from our families tends to be your base line until you decide to consciously change your mind, and make things different. Are you ready and willing to change?To have a rich, rewarding relationship with another human, you need to have one with yourself. It's that simple, but it's sure not easy. Learn some tips today to make it easier!HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:No matter what has happened to you in the past, you can change the present and future.A rel-life example of how the past almost ruined a relationship with potential to be great...and long-lastingIs it possible you go the extra mile for others, but you don't for yourself? What's that about?The importance of your internal conversation about yourselfDo you deserve to have great relationships? The answer is "Absolutely YES!"CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?You can. CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #greatrelationships #knowwhoyouare #selfawareness See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Dec 2018

11 min 16 sec

Best divorce possible from a narcissistic Hijackal? Does such a thing exist? Stay tuned.Yes, divorce is often messy, and definitely messier when there is a difficult person, or a toxic person involved, those people I call Hijackals®!All divorces--in my opinion--go in two clear ways: one end is a Divisive Divorce, and the other end is the Collaborative Divorce. There is a third that takes in the benign, neutral space in the middle that some people wander in, too.If you're divorcing--or, divorced from--a narcissist, a Hijackal, you're definitely going to be on the Divisive end. That's because Hijackals MUST win, and divorce doesn't feel like that. So, the Hijackal wants to win every way to Sunday IN the divorce. That creates divisiveness, for sure, and also pain, stress, anxiety, and too much uncertainty and chaos. Nasty, but true.Listen to these suggestions I have in the first part of today's episode of Emotional Savvy, and see how you could move towards a more collaborative arrangement--IF you're not an ex of a Hijackal, that is!GUEST: Jason Levoy, The Divorce Resource Guy, and former divorce attorney.Jason Levoy aka The Divorce Resource Guy, is a former divorce attorney turned divorce coach who works with people who have attorneys, or are representing themselves to get through the divorce process as quickly as possible, without spending thousands of dollars wasting time.Jason is the creator of DivorceU, the most comprehensive and affordable divorce resource on the internet.In today's conversation, Jason and I discuss the pitfalls of divorce, and how to prepare to avoid them. Especially when you've divorcing a relentlessly difficult person, you need these particular insights we're sharing today.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Need to know things that make divorcing a narcissist differentWays you can recognize that you're dealing with narcissism during a divorce (...just in case you weren't sure, right? lol)Why preparation is particular important BEFORE you say you want a divorceWhat preparation is required to divorce a narcissistHow to best shortcut the divorce process when a narcissist, a Hijackal, wants to make the divorce process last as long as possibleHow to save money on legal bills in a divorce FREE GIFT FROM JASON LEVOY:ebook: Tips on How to Co-parent with an A-Hole GET IT HERE!CONNECT WITH JASON LEVOYWebsite: JasonLevoy.comTwitter:  @JasonLevoyFacebook: Facebook.com/YourDivorceResourceLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/JasonLevoyInstagram: Instagram.com/JasonLevoyCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?You can. CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #emotionalintimacy #divorcinganarcissist #difficultdivorce #saveonlegalbills See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Dec 2018

43 min 42 sec

In today's episode, I'm talking about what it takes to get past the fear of intimacy that a past relationship has taught you. It happens so often, doesn't it?You fall in love, and really trust someone. You are tell them your secrets, and share your vulnerabilities. You so want to have that one person you can share life with, warts and all. You want to believe you are safe.Sometimes, you are safe, and it all works beautifully. It deepens, grows, and enriches over your time together.Then, there are the times where you share deeply, and the other person uses what you said, turns your fears into weapons, and beats you with them in future arguments. Does that sound at all familiar?You can recover from this nonsense, pain, and trepidation. Really! You can. I'll give you some hints, and so will today's guest.GUEST: ALLANA PRATT, Intimacy Expert Wow! So delighted to have Allana on Emotional Savvy! She's a delightful spirit and a lovely friend, as well as a colleague helping folks to grow past the pain.Allana Pratt is an Intimacy Expert--on all levels. She inspires open-hearted, unapologetic living, and does it, as she says, "with delicious sass!" Her inspiring vulnerability and courage has landed her a featured weekly column on the GoodMenProject.com , featured as an Icon of Influence, and as guest expert on CBS, TLC, FOX, Forbes, People Magazine, and Huffington Post.Were you wondering why to listen? After reading that, any questions...lol?Allana is a cum laude graduate of Columbia University, and the author of four books. She hosts the empowering podcast, Intimate Conversations, with guests like Grammy-award winning Alanis Morissette. Allana is a certified coach, and was invited to work with Leeza Gibbons during Dancing with the Stars. With over 3.7 million viewers on YouTube, Allana is the go-to authority when struggling to trust again after a harsh breakup so followers can create hot, healthy, thriving intimate relationships.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What happened to Allana at 16 years old that changed everythingHow to move towards vulnerable, honest, transparent relationshipsWhy Allana knows the Universe caresHow to live an unapologetic life after being with a #HijackalWhy moving past the bad stuff is a choice and how you can make itWhat can be learned from a nasty divorce, and difficult custody battleLearning to trust yourself after divorceEmpowering yourself to live fully CONNECT WITH ALLANA PRATTWebsite: AllanaPratt.comTwitter:  @AllanaPrattFacebook: Facebook.com/CoachAllanaPrattLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/AllanaPrattInstagram: Instagram.com/AllanaPrattCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®WANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?You can. CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE! If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #emotionalintimacy #fearofintimacy #AllanaPratt #intimacyexpert #intimaterelationships See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Nov 2018

42 min 27 sec

In today's episode, I'm talking about what you really need to have if you want a great relationship. If you have the ingredients, you can put them into the relationship. If you're missing them within yourself, and you go looking for them in another, you won't be able to have the relationship you know you want. You've heard me say many times that you cannot give a gift you do not have. That applies to relationships, too. What you put into it is so important.How have your past relationships taken a toll on your current one? I give an example of a couple I worked with and how this was the biggest issue between them. Yay! We resolved it. You'll want to hear this, and understand more fully what might be going on in your relationship.Blame? No, that doesn't work. You know that. You don't like to be blamed, so that means you don't blame others, right? Oops! Learn more about this, too, in today's episode.(If you enjoy this topic, please go to my show page on Facebook and let me know, or leave feedback or ask questions about any topic I've covered there. I'll see it, and respond. I promise. Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpShow )GUEST: SCOTT SCHILLING, The Significance Expert and Co-Founder of YouPlus1 Scott Schilling has achieved the pinnacle of success within the speaking, training and business coaching industries having achieved the top platforms worldwide sharing the stage with likes of General Colin Powell, Suze Orman and many more. He has personally closed millions of dollars in business, while helping clients grow their businesses closing hundreds of millions. He has helped countless numbers of people find success within their businesses, and passions. Scott’s reach spans the globe and his time is sought after by people all around the world. Scott reminds us that,"Legacy is not what you have accumulated throughout your life to leave behind once you pass...it should be what you are known for as you live!"Today, I'm engaging Scott in a conversation about trust. Scott says,"Relationships take time, energy, and investment. In order to truly create a prosperous relationship, others must know, like and trust you. Because we live in an immediate gratification society, many people are not willing to put in the time, energy or investment to earn others trust. Trust is hard to earn and easily lost...but it is imperative that others trust you to have a true relationship." This is a very in-depth conversation. Get yourself a cup of something warm, and settle in for a deep listen! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What can you do when trust is brokenNew thoughts on why trust is so critical to relationshipsWhat congruence has to do with rebuilding relationshipsHow feedback can be used to improve relationshipsGetting clear within yourself to have the relationship you wantWhat Scott Schilling learned from Talking with Giants and what you can, too.CONNECT WITH SCOTT SCHILLING Website: ScottSchilling.comTwitter:  https://twitter.com/ScottSchilling8Facebook: Facebook.com/ScottSchilling8LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/ScottSchilling8Instagram: https://instagram.com/ScottSchilling8CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®WANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS? You can. CLICK HERE If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #emotionalintimacy #healingtrauma #buildingtrust #ScottSchilling See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Nov 2018

45 min 8 sec

In today's episode, I give you some new perspectives--and effective words to say--when people treat you in ways you do not appreciate. For many listeners, "ways I do not appreciate" usually come from one particular person, a #Hijackal®. Whether that is true for you or not, you want to feel and be confident that you can trust yourself to speak up when someone says something rude, wrong, or abusive, without concern that you will turn into a blaming, shaming, or abusive person yourself. That's the goal of my segment today.Learning to respond from your best self rather than lose it and react is a skill! The ideas I've shared here really work. I hope you find them useful immediately for dealing with unexpected hostility, rudeness, and the desire of a Hijackal to squish you like a gnat!(If you enjoy this topic, please go to my show page on Facebook and let me know, or leave feedback or ask questions about any topic I've covered there. I'll see it, and respond. I promise. Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpShow )GUEST: MICKIE ZADA, Advocate for women who have escaped emotional abuse. Mickie Zada, lived in domestic abuse for thirty-four years. In spite of enduring emotional, financial, and physical abuse, for twenty-three years she pretended her life was "normal." Even after admitting her reality, it took eleven more years to leave.Mickie got help from both an experienced counselor, and a psychologist who understood the issues and depth of domestic abuse, who realized and recognized the verbal abuse, emotional abuse, AND the domestic abuse she lived with. She wisely gave herself five years of time to gather, embrace, and apply personal growth insights, understanding that, if she didn't change, she would return to her abuser or attract another abuser.Sixteen years later, Mickie is now a content creator, catalyst, and advocate for women who have escaped domestic abuse. Her business, Surviving Abuse Network, includes weekly podcasts, live videos, and articles created to support and inspire women who have escaped.Mickie's first book, Looking Behind Closed Doors: Domestic Abuse - If You Don't Change, Nothing Changes, is available on Kindle through AmazonHIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why it took so long to believe it was abuseWhat to do when the thought that you've allowed this to happen paralyzes youThe important of a "getaway" planHow Mickie created that "getaway" planWhat to do when you're so afraid of your abuserWhy it's not a good idea to broadcast the idea that you're leaving to your abuser, or to anyone who will tell him or herCONNECT WITH MICKIE ZADAWebsite: SurvivingAbuseNetwork.comTwitter: https://twitter.com/mickie_ZadaFacebook: Facebook.com/SurvivingAbuseNetworkLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/mickiezadaInstagram: https://instagram.com/mickie.survivingabusenetworkCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®NEW! FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerIf you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#unconditionallove #creating peace #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #intimacy #emotionalintimacy #leadership #Hijackals #narcissisticabuse #healingtrauma #survivingabusenetwork #speakingupEdit See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Nov 2018

45 min 8 sec

In today's episode, I give you five solid reasons why mediation is a good choice...and, why it may not work well with a #Hijackal! There are several important things to know about mediation. Some folks don't know about them, and I wanted to be sure you did. It's important when deciding how to proceed to resolve differences in partnerships of any kind, and relationships of all kinds.I've mediated in workplace settings, in primary family relationships, with estranged sisters in two parts of the country, with parents who have been alienated from their children for quite a while, and, of course, I've mediated many, many divorces. And, mediation is, in my opinion, the best way to go when both parties want a fair--or, even somewhat fair--settlement so they can move on with life with less stress and angst.Things can go well, or go south, though, when mediating where one person is a relentlessly difficult person. No surprise, right?Enjoy this segment, and learn why mediation may be the best first strategy for you.(If you enjoy this topic, please go to my show page on Facebook and let me know, or leave feedback or ask questions about any topic I've covered there. I'll see it, and respond. I promise. Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpShow )GUEST: ANTHONY DIAZ, THE PEACE CATALYST Anthony Diaz, Esq. is a family law attorney and mediator specializing in resolving disputes easily, effortlessly, and amicably. In his practice, he is known as the Peacemaker. He is also a Licensed Practitioner with the Centers of Spiritual Living. As a coach, attorney, and mediator, Anthony utilizes his spiritual practices to guide others from pain to peace. He is also an international speaker whose passion, mission, and purpose are to help those in pain to move on from their divorce with dignity to co-create the life they were meant to live.Your kids are watching! You know that, and I'm sure it worries you when you and your partner are often arguing, or worse, right? One big thing a parent has to always keep in mind is, that even at your worst moments, you are being a model for your children. We talk about that today. It's a big deal!What about the practical things? Like coming to agree, or not? What can you expect? Anthony gives you the inside look at mediation, and what you can expect, realistically. Of course, sometimes, things just don't get resolved, and we talk about that, too.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why being a model for your children needs to be a high-priority conscious actWhat to do in the face of resistanceHow do you choose between attorney's and a mediatorIs it "spiritual" to divorce?How you can know if it's time to quit a relationshipWhat is Collaborative Divorce?CONNECT WITH ANTHONY DIAZWebsite: AnthonyJDiaz.comTwitter:  @The1PeaceMakerFacebook: Facebook.com/AJDCPALinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/the1peacemakerInstagram: Instagram.com/the1peace_makerCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsNEW! FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerIf you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#unconditionallove #creating peace #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #intimacy #emotionalintimacy #leadership #Hijackals #narcissisticabuse #healingtrauma #mediation #AnthonyJDiaz See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Oct 2018

51 min 57 sec

In today's episode, I talk about steps you can take to manage the pain of trauma or loss. You've experienced these things, no matter when in your life they occurred. Until you work them through, they will interfere with your health and the health of your current relationships, as well as with your perspective on life.You don't want to be carrying past issues into current relationships. That's often a primary cause of marriages not working: partners bring the pains of previous relationships, and are on guard for them showing up in the new relationship. That's not helpful to getting the love, respect, trust, and support you want in life!Consider these steps I outline in today's episode to find emotional freedom to engage in the present. It will help you heal.(If you enjoy this topic, please go to my show page on Facebook and let me know, or leave feedback or ask questions about any topic I've covered there. I'll see it, and respond. I promise. Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpShow )GUEST: Dr. Sherry Cormier, Psychologist and Professor Emerita at West Virginia University, author of Author of Sweet Sorrow: Finding Enduring Wholeness After Loss and Grief Dr. Sherry Cormier is a licensed psychologist and Professor Emerita in the Department of Counseling, Rehabilitation Counseling, and Counseling Psychology at West Virginia University. She was in private practice in adult psychotherapy in Morgantown, WV, and was a former faculty member at the University of Tennessee. She is a certified bereavement trauma specialist, the author of two textbooks, and lives now in a Chesapeake Bay community where she engages in public speaking, training, and consulting.Wow! Dr. Sherry brings a great deal of experience and expertise to today's conversation!Clearly, what's trauma to one person can be trivial to another. That's what makes it difficult. Each person has a different home life growing up, different experiences, and different nervous systems, too. That's why communication in primary relationships is SO important: you need to understand where each other is coming from--and WANT to understand!Dr. Sherry Cormier wrote this:"1. There is a continuum of grief and loss elicits many emotions. At the more severe end, loss can be traumatic and can become complicated grief and require professional treatment.2. Loss is a universal human experience; our reactions to it vary greatly and depend upon what and whom we lost. If we lost someone precious to us, as I did, we learn that death is a transition not a disappearance.3. To heal from traumatic loss, we have to re establish attachment bonds and make connections with a tribe or social network that can provide support and comfort."When you experience trauma, grief, or loss, you need to be able to gauge what's going on within you or the other person. That happens by reflecting on what you know about them, who you know them to be, and your willingness to communicate with them.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What to do when you "can't get it out of your head" or "cannot believe it is gone"Know how to gauge if your grieving process is healthyHow to know if you need professional helpWhat the difference is between secure attachment and insecure attachment and why it mattersThe components of resilienceHow to recognize and overcome the isolation of griefCONNECT WITH DR. SHERRY CORMIERWebsite: SherryCormierAuthor.comTwitter:  Facebook: Facebook.com/sherry.cormier.9LinkedIn:Instagram: Instagram.com/Cormier1749CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsNEW! FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerIf you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#unconditionallove #creating peace #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #intimacy #emotionalintimacy #leadership #Hijackals #overcominggrief #bereavement #narcissisticabuse #healingtrauma See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Oct 2018

53 min 2 sec

In today's episode, I talk about something that is SO important to keep top of mind. Too many people readily believe the words a person speaks, even when their behavior is screaming the opposite. Why do they do that? Why do you? It's an interesting, though detrimental, habit.Yes, it's a habit, one that you learned as a child. Today, I give you some very good reasons why it is not serving you--or your relationships--well, and what to replace it with. This can change EVERYTHING in the way you approach life, too.You may not want to believe it's true, but IT IS!Get this one right down to your toes, and your life will be SO much better. I promise!(If you enjoy this topic, please go to my show page on Facebook and let me know, or leave feedback or ask questions about any topic I've covered there. I'll see it, and respond. I promise. Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpShow )GUEST: KimSaeed of LetMeReach.com Kim Saeed is an internationally respected self-help author and educator specializing in recovery and rebuilding after toxic relationships. She is the founder of Let Me Reach, a life transformation site that teaches people to flourish after narcissistic abuse.Kim is the author of the Kindle bestseller, How to Do No Contact Like a Boss! and is currently writing an upcoming book, The Way of the Warrior."During the detox from a toxic relationship, it's very common for those in recover to ruminate obsessively over their EX and the events that led to the disintegration of the relationships. This results from addiction to the reward-and-punishment peptides that the victim's brain formed during the course of the relationship. Obsessive thinking is often the result of your subconscious mind's attempt to re-abuse you in the absence of your toxic partner, simply in order to get those peptides flowing again." ~ from Kim's ebook, How to Do No Contact Like a Boss.And, why do Hijackals® exploit you, and laugh at you, especially after you've shared a vulnerability? Listen in, and learn a new way.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Learn three kinds of empathy that can help with understanding the Hijackal behaviorHow Hijackals learn what to do to get what they want from youWhy Hijackals are scornful of your vulnerabilities--even though they encourage you to share themWhat the biggest misconceptions about Hijackals--including those narcissists--isKIM SAEED'S GIFT FOR YOU: The Beginner's Healing Toolkit GET IT HERE! CONNECT WITH KIM SAEEDWebsite: LetMeReach.comTwitter:  @KimSaeedFacebook: Facebook.com/LetMeReachwithKimSaeedLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsNEW! FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerIf you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#unconditionallove #creating peace #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #intimacy #emotionalintimacy #leadership #Hijackals #listeningtoyourintuition #angels #intuitiveleadership #KimSaeed #exploitingvulnerabilities #narcissisticabuse See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Oct 2018

42 min 20 sec

In today's episode, DR. RHOBERTA SHALER asks: "Are you spiritually-minded?" Being spiritually-minded is not simply having an interest in spiritual things. It's much more than that.Are you basing your thinking on the spiritual principles you hold dear? That's the real question.What about the mind? Your mind? Can you point to it? Can it be surgically isolated? Even though you cannot indicate its physical whereabouts, you do understand that you have a mind, or, more precisely, that you use one. It's more than your brain, isn't it?Your mind is creative. When I wrote my book, What You Pay Attention to Expands, I was writing about the very things I'm introducing into the conversation today on Emotional Savvy. It's impossible to have a "mind by-pass" so it's important to think about how you're using your mind every day.In today's episode, as something completely new, I talk about the difference between the objective, conscious mind, and the subjective, sub-conscious mind. An introduction.If you enjoy this topic, please go to my show page on Facebook and let me know, or leave feedback or ask questions about any topic I've covered there. I'll see it, and respond. I promise. Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpShowGUEST: Terry Wildemann, of IntuitiveLeadership.com Terry Wildemann is a high performance coach, helping socially conscious small business owners and leaders to accelerate their businesses with intuition, speed, and ease. She's know for the speed with which she helps her clients achieve results, and the ease with which they do it. No more burning out, she says. No more spinning your wheels. No more wondering how to grow your business quickly.So, what's this talk of intuition, angels, and other spiritual ideas? Terry uses all these in the effective work she does with clients. As you listen, you'll clearly see how she integrates and intertwines these ideas with high-level business and interpersonal practices to create success.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What's the difference between intuition and guidance?Why is intuition important in business?Does everyone have it?What stops people from using intuition?What is the relevance of intuition to leadership?How does that apply in your own life?TERRY WILDEMANN'S FREE GIFT FOR YOU: Use this technique to shift into your heart and get grounded in the moment. Gift is available in both English and Spanish QuickShiftZone.comCONNECT WITH TERRY WILDEMANNWebsite: IntuitiveLeadership.comTwitter:  @TerryWildemannFacebook: Facebook.com/TerryWildemannLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/TerryWildemannCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsNEW! FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerIf you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#unconditionallove #creating peace #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #intimacy #emotionalintimacy #leadership #Hijackals #listeningtoyourintuition #angels #intuitiveleadership See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Oct 2018

43 min 48 sec

EMOTIONAL SAVVY: The Relationship Help Showwith Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorUNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT ON CHILDREN...AND ON THE ADULTS THEY BECOME.GUEST: DR. JONICE WEBB, Author of the first book written on Childhood Emotional Neglect ( CEN )In today's episode, DR. RHOBERTA SHALER asks: "Do you recognize what emotional abuse of children is? It's much more than you might think."Abuse is any behavior that is designed to control or dominate another person. Whether that is through fear, humiliation, intimidation, isolation, guilt, blaming, manipulation or denial. Therefore, emotional abuse is simply any abuse that is emotional rather than physical.It can include belittling, discounting, manipulating the emotions of another and constant criticism. It can be less obvious than that, such as continuous disapproval, or the refusal to ever be pleased by another in any way.It can be engaging children in age-inappropriate behavior, or engaging in age-inappropriate confidences. When a parent tries to engage a child to take his/her side against the other parent, this is emotional abuse.Emotional abuse of children is often more subtle than the systematic wearing away of their self-esteem and self-confidence. Emotional abuse cuts to the core of their being, creating scars, impressions and perceptions that are far deeper and longer-lasting than physical ones. An attempt to distort or undermine a child’s perception of the world is emotional abuse.  In today's episode, I've given a very clear example of a situation that might not sound abusive on first hearing, but, once you've listened to this, you'll see things differently!GUEST: Dr. Jonice Webb, author of the first books ever on Childhood Emotional NeglectJonice Webb, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, speaker, blogger, and best-selling author. Dr. Webb wrote the first book ever written about Childhood Emotional Neglect, and is recognized worldwide as the pioneer of Childhood Emotional Neglect, CEN .Dr. Webb is dedicated to bringing awareness of the power of Childhood Emotional Neglect to people everywhere. She is the author of Running On Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect, and Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships.Were you ever shamed for having emotions in your early life? That's a prime example of a type of Childhood Emotional Neglect. You may never have thought about it in those terms, and today's episode will bring much more than this to light for you.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Wondering why you may downplay your own needs and not ask for much?If you've experienced Childhood Emotional Neglect, how do you become more confident?Why you may still be tamping down your anger?What is the connection between Childhood Emotional Neglect, and troubles in relationships?How can a person who has experienced CEN begin to get in greater touch with their emotions?What are the likely impacts of CEN in an adult's life?DR. WEBB'S FREE GIFT FOR YOU: Take her Childhood Emotional Neglect Questionnaire CONNECT WITH DR. JONICE WEBBWebsite: DrJoniceWebb.comTwitter: @JWebbPhDFacebook: Facebook.com/JWebbPHD/CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsNEW! FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerIf you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#unconditionallove #creating peace #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #intimacy #emotionalintimacy #leadership #Hijackals #ChildhoodEmotionalNeglect #CED #JWebbPhD See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Oct 2018

41 min 23 sec

EMOTIONAL SAVVY: The Relationship Help Showwith Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorGO FOR THE GOLD. BE A LEADER IN YOUR OWN LIFEGUEST: LISA MARIE PLATSKE, AWARD-WINNING LEADERSHIP EXPERTDR. RHOBERTA SHALER: Four Important Principles To Achieve the Results You Want Today, I'm sharing four important--actually essential--principles to grow your business, increase your effectiveness, and create relationships you most want. Tall order...and, these work!You've heard that "attitude is everything." There's truth in that, and we also need focus, attention, and intention, too. There really is method in the madness of achieving the success in life that you want, on all levels. AND, I want to encourage you to create success on your own terms. Not success based on "shoulds" or societal expectations. Success based on who you are, what you value and believe, and what you feel called to create.These four principles are the keys to conscious creation. Use them daily.GUEST: Lisa Marie Platske, CEO of UpsideThinking, and award-winning leadership, connection, and positioning expertLisa Marie Platske is an award-winning leadership expert and a #1 international best-selling author of Designing Your Destiny and Turn Possibilities into Realities. She uses her law enforcement journey. which began on the piers of New York and ended post 9/11, and shares what exceptional leaders do differently and how to be positioned as an expert in order to seize big opportunities. She understands how to develop the skills, mindsets, and abilities to be a leader worth following!Lisa Marie shares how she overcame toxicity in her own life, and her strategies for staying toxic-free. A big part of that journey is arriving at the clarity required. Listen for those tips.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why it's so important to know and live your valuesHow to get clarity on your goals and purposesWhat it requires to be present--truly present--to someone's painWhy is it essential to recognize the facts of an experience, and not just the emotional components.What does it mean to be a leader, and a leader in your own lifeLisa Marie helps leaders in business develop themselves to live and express their values and vision. Being congruent in these ways is an amazing foundation for being a wildly successful, influential leader, no matter the size of the community you lead.CONNECT WITH LISA MARIE PLATSKEWebsite: UpsideThinking.com Twitter: @UpsideThinkingFacebook: Facebook.com/Lisa.Marie.PlatskeCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsNEW! FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerIf you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#unconditionallove #creating peace #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #intimacy #emotionalintimacy #leadership #Hijackals #bepresent #LisaMariePlatske #connection See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sep 2018

41 min 14 sec

In today's episode, DR. RHOBERTA SHALER talks about 'Clearing Your Head When Chronic Stress and Anxiety Have Clouded Your Thinking.'Much research has been done that shows the effects of chronic stress coupled with chronic anxiety. When you're in a troubling or toxic relationship, you have that combination of stress and anxiety. It has been shown to lead to chronic illness, and seems very likely to produce inflammation and autoimmune issues, particularly. Of course, each body is different, and each will react differently as well.Your brain changes with chronic stress and anxiety. Your hippocampus in your brain shrinks, causing fuzzy thinking and reduced ability to remember things well. Your amygdala enlarges and you become more prone to fear-based anxiety. The amygdala triggers the sympathetic nervous system, and your body goes on the alert. Living like that--hyper-vigilant--is very hard on the body. Today, Dr. Shaler talks about what goes on in your brain when you're living with the chronic stress and anxiety of toxic people. YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS!GUEST: Dr. Ganz Ferrance, Expert on Stress Management in Relationships Dr. Ganz Ferrance is a speaker, author, and registered psychologist from Edmonton, Alberta. For more than twenty-five years, Dr. Ganz has been helping individuals, couples, families, and corporations reduce their stress, improve their relationships, and enjoy more success.Today, Dr. Shaler taps his thinking to focus on overcoming chronic stress...and all that it takes to do it!So many times, particularly when you're with a Hijackal®, you will try to keep yourself safe by trying to appease him or her. That won't work, and you'll understand why when you listen to this episode.Dr. Ganz has been on Emotional Savvy before, and he brought great insights and wisdom. Be sure to listen to the other episodes with him.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What "sneaky stress" is and how it affects youHow you fool yourself into thinking that you have no stressThe sad effects of a toxic relationship on your bodyWhere to find your hidden stressorsHow, as Dr. Ganz says, "stress affects your state"This episode brings a new topic to Emotional Savvy to help you understand why it is essential to your health to get away from the troublesome combination of chronic stress AND chronic anxiety.The Relationship Help Show, a new voice, a new vision. Enjoy!CONNECT WITH DR. GANZWebsite: DrGanz.comTwitter: @DrGanzFerranceFacebook: Facebook.com/GanzFerranceCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsIf you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#unconditionallove #creating peace #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #intimacy #emotionalintimacy #mindbodyconnection #chronicstress #effectsofchronicstress #GanzFerrance See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sep 2018

50 min 17 sec

EMOTIONAL SAVVY: The Relationship Help Showwith Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorStop Emotional Energy Leaks! What About Forgiveness?GUEST: Brenda Adelman, Acclaimed Actor. Author. Recipient of Hero of Forgiveness Award. ---------------------------------------------DR. RHOBERTA SHALER: Do You Have Unfinished Business from Emotional Energy Leaks? What are emotional energy leaks?procrastinationdenialresentmentsgrudgesunresolved relationship issuesfor a few! Which ones are plaguing you?Rhoberta gives you insights into why you may be keeping these leaks in place, and why you need to get rid of them now. You are holding yourself back, creating obstacles, and preventing your growth towards satisfying goals in life.GUEST: Brenda Adelman. Author of My Father Killed My Mother and Married My Aunt: Forgiving the Unforgivable Brenda is an award-winning actor, a recipient of a Hero of Forgiveness award, and a sought after guest. She's performed her critically-acclaimed one-woman show, My Brooklyn Hamlet, about the power of forgiving the unforgivable for over 12,000 people worldwide, including women prisoners, youth-at-risk, domestic violence coalitions, spiritual communities, and the US Military.Brenda teaches mission-drive entrepreneurs how to use their story to heal themselves, inspire others, and be memorable on stage and video.Today, Brenda offers her three-step, proven forgiveness process to help you on your journey to ending your energy leaks!HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Brenda tells her horrific story of loss and how she came to forgive her father for killing her motherWhat is forgiveness?Why we should engage with it when the pain is still thereWhat needs to change in your thinking to make forgiveness possibleWhat people find most challenging about forgiveness...and whyWhat to do to forgive now.This episode brings a new topic to Emotional Savvy, as well as a refreshing and different perspective on the practical and spiritual aspects of forgiveness, even in the most seeming impossible circumstance. The Relationship Help Show, a new voice, a new vision. Enjoy!HIS FREE GIFT: Brenda offers you her ebook. CLICK HERECONNECT WITH BRENDA ADELMANWebsite: ForgivenessandFreedom.comTwitter: @BrendaAAdelmanLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/BrendaAAdelmanFacebook: Facebook.com/BrendaAAdelmanCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsIf you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#unconditionallove #creating peace #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #intimacy #emotionalintimacy #mindbodyconnection #forgiveness See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Aug 2018

45 min 12 sec