Keith and The Girl
Keith and The Girl (KATG) is a fast-paced comedy show that talks about EVERYTHING. Hosts Keith Malley and Chemda (who are exes) talk openly about their lives and interview hilarious comedians as well. Change your life. This show is guaranteed to make you laugh. L'chaim.
The great Jackie Kashian returns to KATG to fill us in on the behind-the-scenes parts of the stories she’s told in stand-up over the last 35 years, including her dad and moms, her 5 siblings and their dynamic, kids, and sex talk both good and horrific.
1 hr 10 min
KATG favorite Calvin Cato joins KATG to help celebrate the latest KATG Kickstarter. IT’S THE FINAL HOURS! Together they discuss a listener’s letter, if Chemda has always been filled with kindness and warmth, her birthday demands, and Calvin’s loving relationship of over a year. Calvin dishes on performing stand-up on a gay cruise while Keith reminisces on the time his Dad caught him with porn. The trio also discusses COVID in regards to NYC’s transit authority and how to properly grease workers.
1 hr 9 min
The totes fa-bu May Wilkerson joins Keith and Chemda as they discuss … Keith having cancer??!!! The gang also talks about Chemda’s parental care package and a listener’s holiday question. The trio addresses Tim Heidecker’s Joe Rogan parody and CNN suspending popular anchor Chris Cuomo. Then we get into love. A woman who married herself finds love with another, a different woman married a cow who she believes to be her reincarnated husband, and KATG discusses pandemic dating.
51 min 41 sec
Spider-Man: No Way Home tickets are now on sale! And you can’t get them! But there is good news: It’s Chemda’s Birthday Week! We celebrate by discussing the new COVID variant Omicron the Planet Eater, a woman breastfeeding a cat on a flight, and a gunman pulling out his AK-47 over a 10-minute Little Caesars pizza wait. Happy Thanksgiving! The duo also yap about Ye’s plea for love, a KATG Thanksgiving miracle, and Kevin Spacey being ordered to pay $31,000,000 over Netflix’s sexual harassment policy. Also, Keith reviews Kevin Hart’s dramatic True Story, and KATG talks about the start of Empire’s Jussie Smollett’s hate-hoax trial.
37 min 2 sec
The hilarious Hannah Boone joins Keith and Chemda to celebrate the Aumaud Arbery verdict, discuss Aaron Rodgers’ Covid Toe, and the new series Dopesick. They discuss Tucker Carlson’s “documentary” Patriot Purge, Kid Rock’s “song” Don’t Tell Me How to Live, and Louis C.K.’s 2021 Grammy nomination. In personal news, we learn about Hannah Boone’s after-relapse relationships, literally not being able to cry, and social media. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
1 hr 7 min
The duo is back and ready to celebrate Thanksgiving Day AND Native American Heritage Day. What a rollercoaster! They also discuss listener hate mail from grown adults, Kyle Rittenhouse’s defense attorney saying that Fox News is too much, the Kool-Aid They, the Proud Boys, and an SUV deliberately driving into a Wisconsin Christmas parade. KATG discusses ex-footballer Zac Stacy being freed on bond after he brutally beat his wife on camera, and Keith is excited about Spider-Man: No Way Home. Chemda could give a fuck.
26 min 30 sec
Keith and Chemda record immediately following Kyle Rittenhouse being acquitted of all charges. The duo also discusses Kristen Stewart’s Princess Diana movie Spencer. And Keith doesn’t have off next week.
29 min 21 sec
Comedian couple Casey James Salengo and Courtney McGinnis join KATG to talk about pegging in the bedroom and pissing on stage. The gang talks about sucking yourself off as well as the Mile High Club. Also, Mel Gibson will direct Lethal Weapon 5, and QAnon Shaman Jacob Chansley was sentenced to 3.4 years in prison for the January 6 insurrection. The Staples Center will be renamed Crypto.com Arena. Casey and Courtney are keeping an eye out for the perfect person for their threesome. Their social media is now accepting résumés.
34 min 10 sec
After discussing the most amazing football game ever played, Kevin Allison joins KATG to discuss Travis Scott, Kylie Jenner, and their poorly-timed W Magazine cover, Borax being used to reverse the COVID-19 vaccine, and Joe Rogan claiming that he’s able to suck his own dick. The gang talks about Former Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s bullshit word game, Andy Dick’s latest arrest and sordid history, jealous men, and the latest in fisting.
59 min 3 sec
Veteran comedian Laurie Kilmartin celebrates her new album Corset with Keith and Chemda. They also discuss the latest KATG tattoo, Chemda’s brother’s interesting family shout-out, and the latest in world news, including Kyle Rittenhouse’s cry(?) on the stand and the new University of Austin alternative college.
43 min 23 sec
Paul Rudd is People’s Sexiest Man Alive! Keith lost big when he put his money on it being John Samson, a substitute secretary at an accounting firm that he ran into who was simply gorgeous. Oh well, that’s Hollyweird! Anyway, Lucie Pohl (Overwatch’s Mercy) joins KATG to talk about BECOMING A U.S. CITIZEN! Also, the trio discusses rewatching Sex and the City, The Queen of England blaming Joe Biden for her farts, the latest with Joe Exotic and Carole Baskin’s A-list friends, news-fibber Brian Williams leaving NBC, and the movies Karen and Eternals.
1 hr 15 min
Keith and Chemda explain it all. They talk about sex, Daylight Saving Time, and the easiest way to last longer in bed. They also share the news that an edgelord is in charge of running Keith's crypto portfolio. The duo discusses the COVID-19 vaccine and its relation to Joe Rogan, Aaron Rodgers, Emilio Estevez, and Big Bird. A worker on Alec Baldwin's Rust was bit by a poisonous spider on the set the same day as the shooting, and he may need his arm amputated. Chemda breaks down Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson's relationship, and Keith is excited to be part of the new crop of 15-minute grocery store delivery services.
33 min 7 sec
Longtime friend and guest Christian Finnegan joins Keith and Chemda to discuss his new special Show Your Work, which leads to talk of relationship arguments, infidelity, and the great Chris Pratt. Listen in, and learn how to comfortably deal with everyone dying around you.
1 hr 10 min
The Atlanta Braves win the World Series for the first time in 26 years over the Houston Astros with Game 6: 7-0. YA SHITTIN’ ME! Jenny Zigrino joins Keith and Chemda to discuss divorce, having a much younger sibling, and friends with benefits. The gang also talks about voting, the Guardian Angels’ faked attacks, and if clean air and water is important. Also, celibate Nick Cannon visits a strip club for Halloween, Alec Baldwin’s daughter took pictures of herself covered in blood for Halloween, Elijah Wood has been collecting NFT art from a white supremacist, Keith learns that David Bowie was a bad boy, Squid Game’s crypto was a $120,000,000 scam, and Carole Baskin is suing the Tiger King show. Be sure to visit Jenny at OnlyFans to have your junk rated.
1 hr 4 min
Oh, looks like we have a certain special somebody being a KATG eavesdropper. Good day to you, fine sir. Anyway, Keith and Chemda are with you today to discuss if it’s okay for atheists to participate in church jubilees, reminisce over Halloween, talk about the legal papers Keith’s dad sent to him, and bitch about the unvaccinated dying. Are you smart enough to think for yourself? No worries. Keith will let you know.
49 min 11 sec
After sharing a tale of an airplane dropping raw toilet waste on a man sitting in his backyard, Keith and Chemda share their childhood experiences in school, work, and within their families. The duo also discusses One Direction’s Zayn Malik striking his girlfriend Gigi Hadid’s mom as well as abusers’ tricks. HOT SOUP: Facebook changes its name to Meta! Also, Keith discusses 007’s No Time to Die and the gravitas of cool action heroes.
59 min 1 sec
Mystery Science Theater 3000’s Mary Jo Pehl joins KATG to discuss being a teenager working at an assisted living facility, being robbed at gunpoint(?) while working at a 7-Eleven, and what she learned about handling terrible situations as an adult. NEWS BREAK: The judge in Wisconsin shooter Kyle Rittenhouse’s trial says lawyers cannot call the 2 people Kyle killed “victims”. Mary Jo discusses an uninvited fan showing up at her home, and Keith and Mary Jo discuss their history with the Catholic Digest. NEWS BREAK: The Passion of the Christ’s Jim Caviezel is a QAnon speaker, Alec Baldwin’s prop gun that killed a cinematographer had been used earlier with live rounds by the crew to shoot cans and bottles for fun, and an art collective is selling a 1954 Andy Warhol sketch along with 99 fakes for $250 each without you knowing if you’re buying the real one or a fake. Oh, and Sniffies.com.
1 hr 14 min
The Bad Boy of Comedy is back to set us straight on the world we live in. Fuck you, political-media-industrial-complex! The gang discusses the NBA’s Kyrie Irving’s anti-vaxx stance and the Nazis that protest on his behalf, Donald Trump Jr.’s shirt: GUNS DON’T KILL PEOPLE, ALEC BALDWIN KILLS PEOPLE, the real story on the Facebook whistleblower, and Mel Gibson’s upcoming role in a John Wick origin series. The group reminisce on the latest Silent Trailers, they learn the importance of Jewish cheesecake, and they teach you how to survive fast food establishments.
Comedians Myka Fox and Tim McLaughlin join KATG to discuss their 2-and-a-half year relationship and their idiosyncrasies. And Alec Baldwin shot a woman to death.
1 hr 9 min
Up Early Tonight’s Abbi Crutchfield joins Keith and Chemda to discuss celebrity kids’ names, Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina being on fire, the law vs. psychicology, the wonder of ebikes, and lockjaw blowjobs. They chat about a deadly plane crash with a plane carrying a Will You Marry Me? sign, William Shatner’s journey into space, and the new bi-Superman. Carole Baskin is back for all you cool cats and kittens, and the trio talks about drinking your own pee vs. so-called clean toilet water.
1 hr 15 min
After a week of tearing down statues in honor of indigenous people, Keith and Chemda return to discuss … everything. KATG covers the lies of Jake Gyllenhaal, talks about Dave Chappelle vs. Hannah Gadsby, and reviews Netflix’s Midnight Mass, YOU season 3, 365 Days, and Squid Game. The duo shares the news of the passing of Colin Powell who died of blood cancer mixed with COVID. Also, they show schools that demand that you to stay home if you ARE vaccinated as well as schools wanting to teach the “opposing perspective” of the Holocaust. In funner news, Keith guested on his first ever in-person podcast since COVID. Oh, and the multimillion-dollar chili recipe? WE HAVE IT!
58 min 1 sec
Rod Morrow and Newsy, hosts of Last Week on KATG and CHU & A respectively, join Keith and Chemda as they discuss anti-vaxx violence, Hellraiser 11, the gaslighting of former KATG friends, and Dave Chappelle’s Netflix special The Closer.
1 hr 19 min
The charming and hilarious Ophira Eisenberg joins Keith and Chemda, and the gang discusses Ophira’s book Screw Everyone as well as her NYC-based stand-up. They talk about New York energy and the downfalls of the greatest city in the world, the Facebook conspiracy, Netflix’s Squid Game, and the latest news about Keith’s childhood home. How CAN you get into Squid Game if you actually have real horror in your life?
1 hr 16 min
Keith and Chemda cover their weekend of adventure. For Chemda, it’s taking the subway for the first time during the pandemic. For Keith, it’s finding out his dad is in the possession of a multi-million dollar chili recipe.
47 min 2 sec
Atheer Yacoub joins KATG to help discuss the Sopranos movie prequel The Many Saints of Newark, the great Colin O’Brien and Atheer’s dating, breaking up in person, COVID mask-related $50 fines, and a modern artist being paid $84,000 only to deliver blank canvases titled Take the Money and Run. Also, Katie Couric’s upcoming book Going There shows incredible sympathy for accused rapist Matt Lauer. Now THAT’S some bad energy …
1 hr 6 min
Subhah Agarwal joins Keith and Chemda to talk personal and business. First off, R. Kelly has been found guilty in his federal trial with 9 counts including sex crimes, kidnapping, and human trafficking. Bill Cosby believes he was “railroaded.” Musician and attempted presidential assassinator John Hinckley Jr. is about to be fully released for not attempting to assassinate other presidents while under federal watch. Keith had his first therapy session, and he’s excellent at it. The group responds to stories of Halloween actors going a little too far, which leads to stories of Chemda the Dove Killer. Hopefully the traumatized children will be as good at therapy as Keith is.
53 min 1 sec
Colin O’Brien is looking for love … through a dating website he created that features … him. Colin is 29 years old, is 5’ 10”, weighs 220 lbs., and is in a tax bracket of $40,126 to $85,525. Nice! Colin discusses life before his dating site, life after (the last 6 months), and what he’s up to. The gang covers the gimmick and his sincerity as well as his testimonials and merchandise. The group also covers the latest in The 2021 Vaccine War.
1 hr 1 min
Diamond Dogs’ own Hollywood Craig Klein joins Keith and Chemda as they discuss ass-grabbers Andrew and Chris Cuomo and Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling. The gang also wonders if Vincient Garcia will take Keith McNally’s role as Keith’s ultimate villain, if Kevin Hart cheated on Hot Ones, and California’s Yosemite National Park’s thousands-of-years-old trees burning down.
1 hr 3 min
Comedian Shalewa Sharpe joins the duo to talk about porn, dating, sex, breakups, and abortions. Well, that’s not WHY she joined Keith and Chemda, but that’s where it all went just the same. The gang discusses Brazil’s president being forced to eat his NYC pizza outdoors over his lack of being vaccinated and comic Jim Breuer telling us that you can’t threaten him with a vaccine because he knows his faith. Oh Lord Christ.
56 min 1 sec
Keith begins the show with a sincere apology to the listeners over a story he shared last week. He hopes you understand where he was coming from and that you can accept his words and ignore his tone. Also, popular YouTuber Jordan Cheyenne was caught manipulating her 9-year-old son on camera to cry for their sick dog, a 15-year-old attempted to measure his penis by inserting a USB cable into his urethra, and a 61-year-old got 2 months in jail for repeatedly calling 911 to let them know that he’s tired. Keith and Chemda also discuss the 2021 Emmy Awards as they try to figure out why actors of color can’t figure out how to be good enough to win awards.
42 min 17 sec
Comedian Jessie Jolles joins Keith and Chemda to discuss all things about love and dating. They discuss men who put up websites to find love, drinking million dollar orange juice, and fucking sex robots. COVID fights are ramping up, but hopefully love is still in the air.
1 hr 9 min
Comedians Murf Meyer and Carrie Gravenson join KATG and discuss death as well as the losses of Norm Macdonald and Diane O’Debra. KATG also discusses: Keith expecting to die at camping Bingo Depression and suicidal thoughts The cause of Trevor Moore’s death Liquor company CEO Ian Crystal fell to his death doing a flip on a Citi Field balcony A man disguised himself and kidnapped his ex-wife so that he can save her and win her back Brazil’s president told everyone in the country to buy a rifle to help the crime-ridden country
51 min 6 sec
Keith and Chemda are here to cover Labor Week and all their various adventures. YAY! Britney is free, so of course now she’ll go and get married. Chemda had her first big outing since the pandemic started in beautiful … Atlantic City, and Keith met his girlfriend’s sister. The duo discusses President Biden’s vaccine mandate and their recent camping trip. Keith is the best poker player in town. KATG also discusses: Keith’s completely emptied out childhood home 9/11’s 20th anniversary Hospital staff refusing to be vaccinated Having to fire unvaccinated employees Famous anti-vaxxers’ deaths Jim Breuer vs. proof of vaccination The United States vs. Texas over banning abortions
1 hr 12 min
Comedian Kyle Grooms joins Keith and Chemda to discuss Hurricane Ida, the N-Word in art, and having a cop pull a shotgun out on him while he was on the toilet. Kyle shares the harrowing story of his 9-hour brain surgery, the $500,000 bill, and a scam benefit in his honor. He talks about his decades-long relationship to a nurse and the trickiness of relationships. The gang also talks about Joe Rogan announcing he contracted COVID, Texas’s devastating abortion ban that gives the power for strangers to sue strangers for $10,000 and up, and Drake coming after Kanye.
59 min 44 sec
Am I the Asshole?’s Danny Vega joins Keith and Chemda as they discuss Keith learning that he’s royalty and Keith’s dad explaining he can still put God into bread and make others’ priests if he so chooses to. Keith covers the political landscape of his hometown, Somerset, PA, and their disbelief in science. Almost Jeopardy! host Mike Richards not only didn’t become host but has been fired as executive producer from both Jeopardy! And Wheel of Fortune. Also, Single Danny is learning to be more independent when it comes to relationships, and he closes the show with some heart attack-inducing Am I the Assholes?s.
1 hr 4 min
Keith and Chemda review the screener of Too Soon: Comedy After 9/11 with its creator Julie Seabaugh. The group also discusses the new Kanye West album Donda, Chemda’s first official get-together during the pandemic, and the latest news regarding Father Malley’s children trying to convince their father that the obituaries he wrote are ridiculous. The gang also guesses at the state of Keith’s childhood home and the story behind the supposed 55 trucks that took all their memories away.
59 min 37 sec
Ex-detective and current-comedian Mark DeMayo joins KATG, and the gang laughs through stories of military school, breakdancing, cops, lying civilians, 9/11, mayors, and homicides.
1 hr 21 min
New York City rents have become the most expensive in the United States. WOOOO!!! Also, Rachel Heinemann’s Iris Bahr and Ear Buds’ Chris Mancini join KATG to help discuss the passing of The Rolling Stones’ Charlie Watts’ death, the Nirvana pool baby suing Nirvana 30 years later, and Keith vs. Atlantic City. Iris discusses her time in the Israeli army and answers all your questions about The Israeli–Palestinian Conflict.
1 hr 12 min
The FDA gave full approval for the Pfizer vaccine. Can you get it now, you weird liar? LET’S GO! It’s just Keith and Chemda today, and shit’s about to get real. Keith reviews The Protégé featuring his lover Michael Keaton (is he using the word correctly NOW?), and Keith has received his parents’ obituaries … written by his dad. Also, Chemda contacted the babysitter that sexually abused her.
1 hr 10 min
In Somerset, PA, on a street Keith lived on, a man was recently arrested for threatening people with his sword. AND WE’RE OFF! Alex English joins the duo as they follow up on their personal lives and news reports. The gang discusses Alex’s adventures in dating and sex, Keith realizing when his mom started losing her mind, Keith sending Dad the Vulture article from “Cat’s” email, his stepson’s replaced fish, Jeopardy!’s Mike Richards losing his hosting job before it began, OnlyFans banning porn, and Keith’s girlfriend’s view on the word Lover. (Spoiler: it’s heartbreaking.) Enjoy!
1 hr 15 min
Producer for the Day Lucas picks comedy masters Casey James Salengo and Jimmy Pardo to join Keith and Chemda, and the gang discusses Keith’s holier-than-thou alcoholism, making amends, the third COVID vaccination for people in the U.S., anxiety, and then news that includes Bob Dylan’s sexual abuse allegation, Damon Wayans Verzuz Dave Chappelle, Cuba Gooding Jr. making sure his name stays in the papers, and flight attendants duct taping passengers to their seats.
1 hr 8 min
Pleased with the Vulture article, Keith sent it to his dad from the old Cat email. AND WE’RE OFF! Robert joins Keith and Chemda, and the gang discusses the unsettling times we live in: Afghanistan, Haiti, The Virus … take your pick. Also, Keith replaced his stepson’s dead fish and is playing it off like it’s the original fish. I guess we’ll see how that ends up ... Anyway, it’s a sick world out there, so stay safe!
39 min 19 sec
KATG’s The Dad Emails gets a featured write-up in Vulture! Jingle jangle, baby! After discussing it, The Daily Show’s Josh Johnson returns to Keith and The Girl, and the gang discusses fights of all kinds and the best ways to finish them. (Josh should know as he bought an axe AND nunchucks.) Chet Hanx doubles down on his anti-vaxx stance as the trio discusses COVID 2021, and Britney Spears’ father agrees to step down from Britney’s conservatorship.
Sex God Billy Procida joins Keith and Chemda, and after discussing his gloryholes and gangbangs, they discuss young adults dying of COVID, people bragging that they finally got the vaccine, and Chet Hanx’s scientific findings. The group also talks about New York governor Andrew Cuomo’s resignation and the tricks of sexual abusers.
1 hr 16 min
Keith and Chemda share the awful news of the death of Trevor Moore and the stupid people he confused regarding if Tom Hanks was, indeed, an asshole. The duo then discusses the woman that is suing McDonald’s for $14 over moral damage when a cheeseburger ad caused her to break Lent, Keith being taught the evil of religions that weren’t Byzantine Catholic, and the more and more deaths of public anti-vaxxers. Oh well. At least America won the Olympics and is the fucking best! Also, Jeopardy! finally found their new host, and it happens to be … the producer of Jeopardy!, Mike Richards! (What luck!) Meanwhile, 3 people were hospitalized in Tennessee when an “iceberg wall” collapsed on them at a Titanic museum. Good News Stories of the Day? We’re soon going to have mind-reading devices, and Keith’s going to rummage through the house he grew up in.
56 min 44 sec
Football’s back, baby! And so is your favorite guest Hannah Boone! The gang talks about Keith’s The Suicide Squad conspiracy, Val Kilmer’s autobiographical documentary, Keith’s love of phone scammers calling him, and the ins and outs of alcohol and drug rehabilitation. Help is available if you want it.
1 hr 5 min
Casey joins the duo to discuss everything from being 13 years old and believing in Santa Claus to her wedding just the other day. The gang discusses people irrationally expecting more from their partner, fighting in public, tattoos, and Keith’s girlfriend being put on time out. #TeamBiles
57 min 16 sec
Coming at you fast and furious like it’s the Hungarian Grand Prix, Keith and Chemda give us the top news of the day, including how Chemda is processing the latest COVID information, Britney Spears being topless on Instagram, NHL’s Evander Kane’s pregnant wife calling him out for gambling and throwing games, Matt Damon learning “the f-slur for a homosexual” isn’t nice in 2021, and a Parkland shooting survivor’s dad believing the shooting didn’t really happen. Jesus, thanks for nothing, Ross & Rachel!
56 min 10 sec
Rojo joins KATG! Will Keith ever learn to swim? What’s the secret to winning a cockfight? Why does my ex want me at her wedding? Get all your answers, and learn about the latest COVID news, what the deal is with God, and how identical twins are able to live romantically with another set of twins.
1 hr 9 min
Keith is still keeping his eye on Japan as Dan Soder joins the hosting duo. Dan and Keith discuss their alcoholism, Dan helps Keith understand the rules to being a stepdad, and Keith shares a new method of creating pure atypical honesty in a relationship.
56 min 39 sec