The Distilled Man

Kyle Ingham

The Distilled Man Podcast gives you simple introductions to the essential skills you need to become a better man.

Each episode we interview experts and thought-leaders that will motivate you to set a higher bar in your life. From how to be a more refined man, to tips on social confidence and productivity, we give you the knowledge and tools to become the best version of yourself.

All Episodes

In this episode, we talk with the multitalented Paul Olinger about reinvention, career second-acts, fatherhood, and living your purpose.

Dec 2019

59 min 24 sec

Laura Heck shares how you can recognize the problem areas in your marriage and reignite passion and healthy communication with your wife. We also discuss specific strategies for how to create more purpose and meaning in your marriage.

Oct 2019

1 hr 3 min

Mani Vaya of 2000 books talks about why every man should read regularly and widely, along with tricks for how to accelerate the way you absorb information from books.

Aug 2019

1 hr 11 min

Dr. Robert Glover talks about his new book Dating Essentials for Men. He shares how to cut through the bullshit and fundamentally change your experience of dating and cultivating authentic relationships with women.

Aug 2019

1 hr 12 min

Today on the podcast, Dr. Loretta Breuning talks about how we all have the power to control our brain chemicals—so we can tame anxiety and actively move towards happier thoughts and feelings.

Jul 2019

1 hr 19 min

Karla Starr discusses the question: can you create your own luck? We discuss the subtle things lucky people do differently, why just showing up is often the key to success, how to recognize cognitive biases and use them to our advantage, and more.

Jul 2019

1 hr 6 min

Travel guru Matt Kepnes (aka Nomadic Matt) talks about the biggest misconceptions around extended travel, unorthodox tips for how you can save money while traveling, how to make friends as a solo traveler, and more.

Jul 2019

40 min 36 sec

In this episode, Scott Hambrick talks about why the great books of the Western canon are considered "The Great Books”, why the order in which you read them matters, how they can still be extremely relevant to our lives today, and much more.

Jul 2019

59 min 37 sec

Brett McKay discusses the challenges that men face in the 21st century, why the term “manliness” is often misunderstood, the importance of mentorship and rights of passage, what it means to live well as a man, and much more.

Jun 2019

56 min 11 sec

Ken Coleman shares his proven framework for how to get closer to doing the work you love.

Jun 2019

1 hr 3 min

In this episode, my guest Bob Kulhan shares how the fundamental principles of improv can help you succeed in business.

Jun 2019

59 min 17 sec

Chris Ducker talks about why everyone needs to lean in to embracing their personal brand. We discuss how The Rise of the Youpreneur (as Chris coined it) is already happening and why “making it personal” is a competitive advantage.

May 2019

38 min 28 sec

In today’s episode, I chat with Mike Yarbrough of Wolf & Iron about why every guy needs a community of men to support him and challenge him to reach his full potential.

May 2019

1 hr 3 min

Chris Hogan shares how becoming a millionaire is much more attainable than most people think. We discuss the biggest myths around millionaires, plus he shares insights from his extensive research connecting of over 10,000 real-life millionaires.

May 2019

36 min 32 sec

John Galfano talks about how guys 40 and over can dress their best. We discuss the biggest style mistakes older guys make, plus how to strike that balance between being age-appropriate and still looking youthful.

May 2019

48 min 25 sec

Tim Liu shares how you can defy the odds and still manage to stay fit while traveling.

Apr 2019

51 min 17 sec

Shaving expert Mark Herro, aka Mantic59, breaks down everything you need to know about traditional wet shaving.

Apr 2019

51 min 35 sec

Author and speaker Jon Vroman talks about how to live life in the front row and the art of “moment making.” Plus we discuss how to explore your values and reconnect to a higher purpose and deeper meaning within your life.

Apr 2019

44 min 4 sec

Beardbrand founder Eric Bandholz shares how he first started his entrepreneurial journey. Plus, he talks about general grooming tips that can help you look and feel your best, whether or not you have a beard...and much more.

Mar 2019

53 min 18 sec

Matt Reynolds and Scott Hambrick talk about why everyone needs to get strong, how building muscle can improve every aspect of your life (even sex), and how anyone can do it--even your grandma.

Mar 2019

59 min 9 sec

John Kim talks about the dangers of what he calls “exchanging truth for membership,” why you need to go on more “man dates” with your guy friends, and how to recognize negative patterns of how you show up in your relationships and career.

Mar 2019

41 min 18 sec

Tommy Baker talks about the counterintuitive strategy of making small but regular improvements in your life, and how that consistency can ultimately yield exponential improvements in your life.

Mar 2019

44 min 54 sec

You've heard it a million times: "Know thyself." Yet it's such a nebulous phrase that in many ways it's almost meaningless. In today’s solo episode I share a small lens through which you can start knowing yourself. So you can at least begin getting a better understanding of who you are and what makes you tick--because, as a man, that is extremely important.

Feb 2019

17 min 39 sec

There are many things in life we can influence, but one thing we can’t control is our height. For a man in the US, average height is around 5’ 10.” And where we end up in relation to that marker can often have a big impact on our lives.   In today’s episode, Seth Ulinksi and I talk about the subtle, and sometimes not-so-subtle, impact of height bias and heightism in our culture. We discuss the real life challenges shorter men face, and how they can overcome them. Show notes: http://www.thedistilledman.com/043. Rate and review the episode at http://www.thedistilledman.com/itunes

Feb 2019

44 min 10 sec

“Why live an ordinary life when you can live a legendary life?” That’s the question today’s guest asks himself and his followers everyday.   In this episode, Ted Ryce of Legendary Life talks about about little known secrets for how to optimize your health, why you should focus on quality of life rather than quantity of life as you age, the critical connection between your social life and your health, and more.   Show notes: http://www.thedistilledman.com/042. Rate and review the episode at http://www.thedistilledman.com/itunes  

Feb 2019

1 hr 17 min

Having big dreams is one thing, but actually turning them into reality? Well, that’s a whole other skill in itself.   Today, our guest Steve Sims talks about how to cultivate the habits and mindset to make the impossible happen.   Steve and I talk about how understanding a person’s “why” will always be more motivating than money, how to break through the clutter and get noticed by people who matter, why it’s important to always stay true to yourself, and much more. Show notes: http://www.thedistilledman.com/041. Rate and review the episode at http://www.thedistilledman.com/itunes

Dec 2018

1 hr 1 min

Manners don’t seem to get a lot of airtime these days. And it’s not surprising—many of the established rules of etiquette are over a hundred years old. But contrary to popular belief, manners aren’t about what fork to use with what place setting. Simply put, manners are about how we treat the people around us. Today on the podcast, we talk with David Coggins about why manners are still very much relevant—and maybe even more critical in today’s day and age. Show notes: http://www.thedistilledman.com/040. Rate and review the episode at http://www.thedistilledman.com/itunes

Dec 2018

1 hr 2 min

Mental health is a topic guys often avoid talking about. There’s a stigma around that phrase. But if you think about it, we all have mental health, just like we all have physical health. Both are areas of our lives that if we ignore them—if we don’t take care of them—bad things happen. Today on the podcast, we talk to Paul McGregor about why it’s important for men, in particular, to start speaking up about their feelings and learn how to deal with things in a healthier way. Paul and I discuss why depression can hide underneath busy-ness and ambition, how expectations around “being a real man” make asking for help more difficult, why being simply surrounded by great friends isn’t enough, and much more. Show notes: http://www.thedistilledman.com/039. Rate and review the episode at http://www.thedistilledman.com/itunes

Dec 2018

51 min 18 sec

Sometimes life feels like one big never-ending to-do list. And as much as you try, you realize you’ll ever get EVERYTHING done.   My guest today, John Zeratsky, shares how to create focus around the things that matter most, so you can take control of your time and your life. John and I discuss how to identify tasks and goals that are worth focusing on, how to eliminate distractions, how to create energy to tackle your goals, and much more. Show notes: http://www.thedistilledman.com/038. Rate and review the episode at http://www.thedistilledman.com/itunes

Nov 2018

1 hr 2 min

Steve Pemberton shares his inspiring story of growing up in the foster care system and how to stay resilient in the face of challenging times.

Nov 2018

51 min 2 sec

All of us want to land that dream opportunity or dream job. You know, the one that makes you feel like a rock star when you answer that question “what do you do?” But if you don’t have the right connections or exactly the right experience, sometimes it can feel nearly impossible to get where you want to go. In today’s episode, Austin Belcak shares his unorthodox approach for how to stand out from the pack and land your dream job. Austin and I discuss why the deck is stacked against the traditional job applicant, how you can create opportunities for yourself even if a company isn’t hiring, the art and science of cold outreach, and much more. Show notes: http://www.thedistilledman.com/036. Rate and review the episode at http://www.thedistilledman.com/itunes.

Nov 2018

1 hr 12 min

To achieve anything worthwhile in life, you have to first envision it in your mind. My guest today, Cameron Herold, shares how to create a Vivid Vision for your life that helps set your sites on what you truly want. Cameron and I discuss how to optimize your daily routine for maximum energy and focus, unconventional strategies for achieving work/life balance, why allowing yourself to yourself to be genuinely vulnerable can be a strength, and much much more… Show notes: http://www.thedistilledman.com/035. Rate and review the episode at http://www.thedistilledman.com/itunes.

Oct 2018

55 min 21 sec

When it comes to maximizing success in life, one thing you absolutely can't ignore is your habits--those unconscious behaviors that you do without thinking. For many of us, habits, good or bad, may represent 40-50% of our actions in a given day. My guest today, James Clear, shares how you can master your habits, so they work for you instead of against you. James and I talk about why habits are the compound interest of self-development, the critical link between identity and habits, how to build good habits and break bad ones, and much more… Show notes: http://www.thedistilledman.com/034. Rate and review the episode at http://www.thedistilledman.com/itunes.

Oct 2018

53 min 15 sec

In this episode, Dave Stuart Jr. talks about how you can overcome public speaking anxiety and improve your presentation skills.

Oct 2018

57 min 41 sec

The Distilled Man - Actionable Advice for the Everyday Gentleman As men, a lot of us struggle with setting boundaries when we’re in relationships. Part of that has to do with learning to communicate like adults. But often the first step is learning who we are as men. In this episode, Wayne Levine and I talk about why it’s so important to be in touch with our own needs—but also in touch with our own masculinity—so we can express ourselves in a healthy way. Wayne Levine Wayne M. Levine, M.A. is the director of BetterMen Coaching in Agoura Hills, CA (est. 2001) where he coaches men to be the best men, fathers, husbands and leaders they can be. He also facilitates men’s groups, and created the BetterMen Retreats for men. Over the years, his practice has expanded to support couples, young men and families. In addition, Wayne is the author of the best-selling Hold On to Your N.U.T.s—The Relationship Manual for Men.  Since writing the book nearly 12 years ago, Wayne’s perspective is now focused more on the spiritual side of masculinity, so our discussion was pretty wide-ranging, and I think you’ll get a lot out of it. Episode Highlights N.U.T.s: Non-negotiable Unalterable Terms Often, men won’t realize what their N.U.T.s are until they are compromised Your default around relationships is what you saw you growing up How the loss of Wayne’s father at age 9 shaped his life How the baggage of previous generations of men can continue to “echo” in your life until you confront it In our culture, we lack the initiation rituals that help transition boys to men Women will have the inclination to test us, but it’s only to confirm that we can be their rock When we feel like we have to fight for what we need, we can’t possibly be there for another person The importance of finding the right male friends to support you beyond just superficial camaraderie Resources Mentioned Hold Onto Your N.U.T.s: The Relationship Manual for Men Connect With Wayne Levine BetterMen Coaching  To view this post on The Distilled Man website, visit Wayne Levine: Hold Onto Your N.U.T.s For a Free copy of our 42-page eBook, visit http://www.thedistilledman.com/48-hour-gentleman-ebook/

Sep 2018

57 min 20 sec

The Distilled Man - Actionable Advice for the Everyday Gentleman This episode is brought to you by Focus Pointe Global, a trusted marketing research company. Focus Pointe Global is looking for men who are interested in getting paid to share their opinions about a variety of manly (and gentlemanly) topics—from shaving to alcoholic beverages to health, and many other subjects. Learn more. Our relationship with money is an interesting thing. On the surface, money is always on our radar. Everywhere you look in our culture, so much energy and attention gets devoted to material gain. Yet the average person has a very poor grasp on where his paycheck goes each month. Today on the podcast, unorthodox finance blogger J. Money shares how to get a better handle on your money…and your life. We talk about the the importance of tracking your net worth (no matter how small), the biggest financial mistakes most people make, why challenging mainstream lifestyle norms can be the easiest way to build wealth, and more. J. Money J. Money is an award winning blogger, consultant, experimenter, and daddy of three little boys. With over a decade of building communities online, Jay’s projects have reached 30+ million views and are regularly featured in the media. An avid coin collector, coffee drinker, and hip-hop fan, Jay loves getting people excited about finance and is best known for his personal finance blog, BudgetsAreSexy.com. You can learn more about Jay at jmoney.biz. Don’t tell me what you spend your money on. Show me your budget, and I’ll tell you.” Episode Highlights Money is a taboo subject—most people don’t talk about it enough Budgeting isn’t sexy, but it gives you confidence, which is sexy Why tracking your net worth is the new budgeting If you’re working at a job you hate AND you aren’t saving, you’re wasting your time The Lifetime Wealth Ratio, and how it can give you perspective on your lifetime earnings The biggest money mistake: not knowing were your money goes Lowering your expenses not only lowers your current expenses, but also means less money is needed to achieve your target retirement goal Spend on the stuff you care about, and stop spending on the stuff that doesn’t bring you value Why Jay ended up selling his his other successful blog, Rockstar Finance You can’t help other people if you can’t help yourself Resources Mentioned Budgets are Sexy Mister Money Mustache Early Retirement Extreme  Rockstar Finance Coin Thrill Essentialism by Greg McKeown The Triad of Hustling Challenge Everything Connect With J. Money Jmoney.biz Jay on Twitter To view this post on The Distilled Man website, visit J. Money: Budgets, Building Wealth, and Living Well For a Free copy of our 42-page eBook, visit http://www.thedistilledman.com/48-hour-gentleman-ebook/

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Sep 2018

1 hr 5 min

The Distilled Man - Actionable Advice for the Everyday Gentleman This episode is brought to you by Focus Pointe Global, a trusted marketing research company. Focus Pointe Global is looking for men who are interested in getting paid to share their opinions about a variety of manly (and gentlemanly) topics—from shaving to alcoholic beverages to health, and many other subjects. Learn more. At some point in our lives, nearly all of us have experienced the tragic effects of alcohol addiction. If not us personally, then someone close to us–a friend, a family member, a significant other. Today on the podcast, Paul Churchill talks about his own battles with alcohol addiction and his road to recovery. Paul Churchill After struggling with drinking off and on in his teens and 20’s, in 2006 Paul moved to Spain and bought a bar. Within 3 years, he was completely dependent on alcohol, blacking out close to 7 nights a week, and he ended up walking away from the bar. Despite that potential wakeup call, he continued to drink for another 5 years, watching and feeling his life slowly unravel. But then in February 2015, Paul launched the Recovery Elevator Podcast as an accountability tool to stay sober. Today, it’s been over 3 years since Paul had his last drink of alcohol and the podcast has surpassed 2 million downloads. The Recovery Elevator Podcast is in the 97th percentile of all podcasts on iTunes, has been downloaded in all 50 states and over 145 countries. The Recovery Elevator podcast has now evolved into a private membership community with hundreds of members from all over the world. Over the past few years, Paul has spoken to thousands of students about alcohol awareness across the country and delivered two TEDx talks in 2017. In this episode, Paul and I talk about why the stigma around alcohol addiction can make it harder to recognize and to quit, the signs to watch for when alcohol begins impacting you physically, mentally and spiritually, why accountability and support are critical for staying clean, and much more. The thing more dangerous than the drugs or the alcohol is the stigma—it forces us to reach our most acute moment of pain before reaching out.” Episode Highlights Only 5% of alcoholics fit the typical stereotype How your addiction lies to you in your own voice Why “alcoholic” isn’t a fair term The best way to come out when you have an addiction How to handle temptation once you’ve quit Even though you expect to be judged when you reveal your addiction, the opposite happens How Paul’s sobriety was propelled forward when he started having conversations with people he couldn’t retract Resources Mentioned Recovery Elevator Podcast Connect With Paul Churchill Recovery Elevator Podcast Recovery Elevator Website Email: paul (at) recoveryelevator.com To view this post on The Distilled Man website, visit Paul Churchill: Recovery Elevator For a Free copy of our 42-page eBook, visit http://www.thedistilledman.com/48-hour-gentleman-ebook/

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Aug 2018

43 min 33 sec

The Distilled Man - Actionable Advice for the Everyday Gentleman This episode is brought to you by Focus Pointe Global, a trusted marketing research company. Focus Pointe Global is looking for men who are interested in getting paid to share their opinions about a variety of manly (and gentlemanly) topics—from shaving to alcoholic beverages to health, and many other subjects. Learn more. While you may not realize it, life is a series of negotiations. Whether you’re buying a car, trying to get a raise, dealing with your family or in-laws, or being held hostage by your two-year-old daughter, who just won’t go to bed. In today’s episode, Chris Voss shares some of the secrets to effective negotiation that will transform the way you view your interactions with other people. Chris Voss A 24 year veteran of the FBI, Chris is the former lead international kidnapping negotiator for the Bureau, and is now one of the preeminent practitioners and professors of negotiating skills in the world. He is the founder and principal of The Black Swan Group, a consulting firm that provides training and advises Fortune 500 companies through complex negotiations. Chris has taught for many business schools, including the University of Southern California’s Marshall School of Business, Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business, Harvard University, MIT’s Sloan School of Management, and Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management, among others. He is also the author of the book, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As if Your Life Depended on It. Chris and I discuss how he made his way into the world of high-stakes negotiation, the biggest mistakes people make when they don’t know how to negotiate, the key phrases and tactics that can help you negotiate more effectively, and we even talk about the exact technique Chris used to get a great deal on his salsa red Toyota 4-runner. The secret to gaining the upper hand in negotiation is giving the other side the illusion of control.” Episode Highlights The most dangerous negotiation is one you don’t know you’re in Time is the element that is always present in negotiation The pronouns someone uses (I, me, my, vs. he, she, their, etc) can indicate someone’s level of power How mirroring—echoing the last few words of what someone says—can help you elicit information How to use the “late night DJ” voice to gain trust Why it’s a mistake to always try to get your opponent to say “yes” How getting your opponent to “no” can make them feel safe and protected How great open-ended questions trigger forced empathy A demonstration of understanding can often be your counter-offer Resources Mentioned Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As if Your Life Depended on It. Connect With Chris Voss Black Swan Group Text FBIEMPATHY to 22828 to sign up for the free newsletter To view this post on The Distilled Man website, visit Chris Voss: Lessons from a Master Negotiator For a Free copy of our 42-page eBook, visit http://www.thedistilledman.com/48-hour-gentleman-ebook/

Jul 2018

1 hr 10 min

The Distilled Man - Actionable Advice for the Everyday Gentleman This episode is brought to you by Focus Pointe Global, a trusted marketing research company. Focus Pointe Global is looking for men who are interested in getting paid to share their opinions about a variety of manly (and gentlemanly) topics—from shaving to alcoholic beverages to health, and many other subjects. Learn more. These days, we are constantly barraged with information and data—from billboards to ads on our phones, to the latest social media platforms. So much content and information around us, yet how much of it is truly memorable? How much of it really moves us or inspires us? Perhaps the only things that can cut through all this clutter and grab hold of us are great stories. Stories are what we remember and what make us memorable. When you can artfully tell your own story, that’s a pretty magical thing—whether you’re connecting with someone on a first date or you’re a business leader trying to capture the imaginations of your colleagues and customers. Jay Golden In today’s episode, we talk with Jay Golden about the power of storytelling. Jay is an author, storyteller, and founder of Retellable, a boutique story consulting and training company. Jay has coached leaders, led trainings, and crafted stories for clients such as Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, and Rainforest Action Network. He’s also the author of the book, Retellable: How Your Essential Stories Unlock Power and Purpose. Jay and I discuss why humans are hard-wired to pay attention to stories, the elements of a great story, how you can hone your own stories and use them to connect with people around you, and much more. If there’s a journey, there’s a change. If there’s a change, there’s a story” Episode Highlights Why storytelling is the original social media Storytelling is less about convincing and more about connecting How stories can alter brain chemistry to physically engage listeners and capture attention Why you need to connect with your story first before it can move others How stories can require you to confront the “innermost cave” moments in your journey The journey curve: Jay’s framework for the essential shape of great stories Why you need to anchor your story in sensory detail to draw your listeners into the journey How studying the craft of storytelling can change the way you experience everyday life Resources Mentioned Retellable: How Your Essential Stories Unlock Power and Purpose Kurt Vonnegut on the Shape of Stories Connect With Jay Golden Twitter Retellable.com Email: Jay (at) retellable.com To view this post on The Distilled Man website, visit Jay Golden: The Power of Storytelling For a Free copy of our 42-page eBook, visit http://www.thedistilledman.com/48-hour-gentleman-ebook/

Jun 2018

56 min 7 sec

The Distilled Man - Actionable Advice for the Everyday Gentleman This episode is brought to you by Focus Pointe Global, a trusted marketing research company. Focus Pointe Global is looking for men who are interested in getting paid to share their opinions about a variety of manly (and gentlemanly) topics—from shaving to alcoholic beverages to health, and many other subjects. Learn more. Meditation has often gotten a bad rap for being too “woo woo.” But as new research continues to confirm the benefits of meditation, more people are starting to realize the impact that it can have on their everyday lives. On top of that, many so-called “high-performers” credit meditation as one of the most important habits for achieving their goals. We often think we are our thoughts; with meditation, we start to realize that we have thoughts but we aren’t our thoughts.” Today on the podcast, we talk with Justyn Comer about how the practice of meditation can affect all aspects of your life. Justyn has been practicing meditation for over 30 years and teaching since 1999. He is a co-founder of RWM Education, Inc., a non-profit organization dedicated to making meditation available to as many people as possible. In this episode, Justyn and I discuss his new book, Meditation for Life: How mind training improves relationships, career, health and happiness. I know, it almost sounds like an overpromise. I’ve read a lot about meditation in the last few years, and the more I read the more I wonder: what doesn’t it help with? So much so that I had to ask Justyn that same question. Not surprisingly, his answer was a good one. Episode Highlights What meditation is not Meditation is often pigeonholed as being just about stress relief or spirituality, but it’s much more than that How Justyn finally tried meditation after suffering from panic attacks Awareness training: how to be aware of the present moment, seeing the world as it is Compassion training: building up the “compassion muscle,” and the critical importance of self-compassion How meditation can help train you how to focus more effectively How meditation can improve your relationship by making you a better listener The importance of developing your curiosity so you can focus more on the present moment The often overlooked limitations of meditation Resources Mentioned Meditation for Life: How mind training improves relationships, career, health and happiness RealWorldMeditation.org Real World Meditation 12-Week Course Headspace App Calm App 10% Happier App Connect With Justyn Comer RealWorldMeditation.org To view this post on The Distilled Man website, visit Justyn Comer: Why You Should Meditate For a Free copy of our 42-page eBook, visit http://www.thedistilledman.com/48-hour-gentleman-ebook/

May 2018

1 hr 13 min

The Distilled Man - Actionable Advice for the Everyday Gentleman This episode is brought to you by Focus Pointe Global, a trusted marketing research company. Focus Pointe Global is looking for men who are interested in getting paid to share their opinions about a variety of manly (and gentlemanly) topics—from shaving to alcoholic beverages to health, and many other subjects. Learn more. Anyone in their twenties who says they have life figured out is just plain crazy. Even in your thirties, getting lost can sometimes be the best strategy for (eventually) finding your way. And while you can learn a lot from other people, asking yourself the right questions is often the biggest step towards knowing who you are and finally living life like you mean it. Paul Angone In today’s episode we talk with Paul Angone, one of the nation’s leading voices to, and for, the millennial generation. He is the bestselling author of two books, a sought-after national speaker, and an organizational consultant who specializes in helping companies attract, retain and develop millennials. Paul is the creator of the website AllGroanUp.com, and in this interview we talk about his newest book, 101 Questions You Need to Ask in Your Twenties (and let’s be honest, your thirties too). Paul and I discuss why the twenties in particular are such a tumultuous time, why exploring and getting lost are essentially the same thing, how sometimes your greatest character growth happens during times of uncertainty and transition, and why sometimes being “77% sure” is good enough to pull the trigger. Your twenties and thirties are not about them going as you planned, but how you adapt, change and grow when they don’t.” Episode Highlights Why your 20’s is a great time to take more strategic risks Intentional “lostness” and why exploration and being lost are the same The career ladder is no longer a ladder, but a jungle gym You can often learn a lot from jobs you hate Character growth happens the most during times of uncertainty and transition Being 77% sure may be enough to move ahead Failing without calling yourself a failure The new OCD: obsessive comparison disorder Laughing at yourself is a sign of maturity What is fear holding you back from doing, and is it worth it? Resources Mentioned 101 Questions You Need to Ask in Your Twenties (and let’s be honest, your thirties too) 101 Secrets For Your Twenties All Groan Up 127 Hours Connect With Paul Angone AllGroanUp.com Twitter  Instagram To view this post on The Distilled Man website, visit Paul Angone: Key Questions For Your 20’s and 30’s For a Free copy of our 42-page eBook, visit http://www.thedistilledman.com/48-hour-gentleman-ebook/

May 2018

49 min 45 sec

The Distilled Man - Actionable Advice for the Everyday Gentleman This episode is brought to you by Focus Pointe Global, a trusted marketing research company. Focus Pointe Global is looking for men who are interested in getting paid to share their opinions about a variety of manly (and gentlemanly) topics—from shaving to alcoholic beverages to health, and many other subjects. Learn more. It amazes me how we go through all these years of schooling—learning everything from math to spelling to physics to history—yet almost no time is spent on teaching us how to relate to other people. It’s only when we get into the real world that we realize how important social skills are. And that often, it’s as much about who you know as what you know. In this episode, we talk with Myke Macapinlac of Social Confidence Mastery about how to improve your social confidence even if you’ve never felt comfortable putting yourself out there. Myke Macaplinac Myke was a shy immigrant who used to work a boring engineering job and became a talk show host, a social dynamics specialist, and a lifestyle entrepreneur. He now teaches shy guys to develop social confidence so they can succeed in their personal, romantic, and professional lives. He is the author of Improve Your Social Confidence: How to Eliminate Your Insecurities, Social Anxiety, and Shyness. His work has also been featured in The Calgary Herald, on Breakfast Television, on Shaw TV, and in The Huffington Post. Myke and I discuss some of the myths about meeting new people, why mutual interest is the foundation of every great relationship, how you can become a more interesting conversationalist, why romantic rejection is actually a good thing, and much more. If you want to be an interesting person, let alone have interesting conversations, you have to start doing interesting things. Episode Highlights How Myke went from being a shy, chubby kid to being a confident, social dynamics coach “Practice doesn’t make perfect; it has to be the right practice” Why bars are often the worst place to meet women How to improve your conversation skills in an authentic way Why romantic rejection is actually a good thing Mutual interests: the foundation of every great relationship Why Myke laid down in the middle of a busy mall during the post-Christmas shopping rush How to become more passionate and live a more interesting life Resources Mentioned Improve Your Social Confidence: How to Eliminate Your Insecurities, Social Anxiety, and Shyness Comfort Zone Crusher Connect With Myke Macapinlac Social Confidence Mastery To view this post on The Distilled Man website, visit Myke Macapinlac: Social Confidence Mastery For a Free copy of our 42-page eBook, visit http://www.thedistilledman.com/48-hour-gentleman-ebook/

Apr 2018

50 min 3 sec

The Distilled Man - Actionable Advice for the Everyday Gentleman So many men believe the myth that if they always do the right thing and put other people’s needs ahead of their own, they’ll be loved and their lives will be magically problem-free. Unfortunately, that approach rarely works out. Those men often find themselves feeling bitter, neglected, emotionally and sexually unfulfilled in relationships—or worse, in the “friend zone.” My guest today, Dr. Robert Glover, calls this tragic condition “Nice Guy Syndrome.” In this episode, Dr. Glover and I talk about how to recognize the signs of Nice Guy Syndrome in yourself, why you need to re-connect with your own needs and boundaries, the best ways to create new vitality in your relationships, and much more. Dr. Robert Glover Dr. Glover is the author of the book, No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan For Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life. He is the creator of Dating Essentials for Men and the director of TPI University. He is an internationally recognized authority on Nice Guy Syndrome. And he is a frequent guest on radio talk shows, having been featured in numerous publications. Through his book, online classes, workshops, podcasts, blogs, consultation, and therapy groups, Dr. Glover has helped change the lives of countless men and women around the world. By making their needs a priority and putting themselves first, Nice Guys come to see the world as a place of abundance.” Episode Highlights How Dr. Glover discovered Nice Guy Syndrome through his own personal experiences The three main “covert contracts” that Nice Guys unknowingly make with the world Why the “Nice Guy seduction strategy” doesn’t work, and why Nice Guys always end up in the friend zone How Nice Guys are subtly dishonest and manipulative without realizing it Why Nice Guy syndrome can make you lose your connection with other men The importance of setting boundaries and communicating your needs When men get comfortable with who they are, they can authentically attract women without doing anything Resources Mentioned No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan For Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida Connect With Robert Glover DrGlover.com To view this post on The Distilled Man website, visit Robert Glover: No More Mr. Nice Guy For a Free copy of our 42-page eBook, visit http://www.thedistilledman.com/48-hour-gentleman-ebook/

E

Mar 2018

1 hr 15 min

The Distilled Man - Actionable Advice for the Everyday Gentleman Our minds are always at work, with thoughts constantly running through our heads. While sometimes it feels like we have no control, in reality, we have the choice of whether those thoughts are positive or negative. Today on the podcast, we talk with Gary John Bishop about how to recognize self-limiting thought patterns so you can get on with your life and achieve your true potential. Your life is going the way that you’re going. Nothing is happening to you.” Gary John Bishop Gary is the author of Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life. He is one of the leading personal development experts in the industry and has impacted tens of thousands of people worldwide with his no-nonsense “urban philosophy” approach. Gary describes his book as “a conversational slap from the universe to wake you up to your true potential, unfuck yourself, and get spectacularly into your life.” And I have to agree with that statement. I first heard about this book from a past guest, Larry Hagner of The Good Dad Project, and when I read it, I found myself very moved by some of the insights Gary shares—and his completely refreshing and no-nonsense take on how to get out of your head and basically get out of your own way. In this episode, Gary and I talk about why most self-help strategies and positive affirmations don’t work, how you can authentically change your inner dialog to create momentum in your life, why you need to take a hard look at whether you are truly willing to achieve your goals, and much more. Gary has a lot of wisdom to share, and of course it doesn’t hurt that he does it in a Scottish accent. Episode Highlights Assertive vs narrative self-talk Why affirmations don’t work Why being “willing” is powerful, and how leveraging unwillingness can be equally powerful Being real with yourself about whether your actions are really aligned with your goals Why you are currently “winning” in many areas of your life without realizing it It’s great to pursue huge dreams, but not when you’re trying to fix something about yourself Why human beings are hard-wired to pursue, and why so many desires are insatiable Stop trying to think more positively before you take action The importance of honoring promises to yourself Your life only ever changes in the paradigm of action.” Resources Mentioned Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life Unf*ck Yourself Course Connect With Gary John Bishop Gary’s Website Facebook Instagram Twitter If you’re enjoying the podcast, please consider rating and reviewing the show on iTunes. Thank you! To view this post on The Distilled Man website, visit Gary John Bishop: Unfu*k Yourself For a Free copy of our 42-page eBook, visit http://www.thedistilledman.com/48-hour-gentleman-ebook/

E

Mar 2018

1 hr 1 min

The Distilled Man - Actionable Advice for the Everyday Gentleman Today on the podcast, we talk with Tanner Guzy about his new book The Appearance of Power: How Masculinity is Expressed Through Aesthetics. Tanner is the founder of the channel, Masculine Style, and you might remember him from episode 5, The Psychology of Dressing Well. That was a pretty popular episode, and Tanner’s a good friend of mine, so I’m really excited to have him back on the show. In this episode, we talk about the deeper meaning behind the clothes you wear, why even men who “hate style” actually care deeply about their appearance (even if they don’t realize it), the three masculine archetypes you can use to help define your personal style, and much more. Episode Highlights The difference between a strategic and a tactical approach to dressing better Dressing well doesn’t necessarily mean dressing up How men have historically signaled their masculinity and “usefulness to the tribe” through aesthetics How clothing can communicate the 4 masculine virtues The real reason it’s bad to let your girlfriend or wife dress you The three masculine archetypes and how they can help you define your personal style How to stop being reactive and start being proactive with your relationship to clothing Resources Mentioned The Appearance of Power The Way of Men by Jack Donovan Connect With Tanner Guzy The Appearance of Power Website Masculine Style   Enjoying the podcast? Please rate and review the show on iTunes.  To view this post on The Distilled Man website, visit Tanner Guzy: The Appearance of Power For a Free copy of our 42-page eBook, visit http://www.thedistilledman.com/48-hour-gentleman-ebook/

Mar 2018

52 min 42 sec

The Distilled Man - Actionable Advice for the Everyday Gentleman Today on the podcast, we talk with Alexa Shoen about how to completely reimagine how you approach searching for a job and growing your career. Alexa is the founder of Entry Level Boss, a career mentoring company that helps take the pain and confusion out of the job hunt process. In this episode, Alexa and I discuss how to take a more thoughtful approach to figuring out your next career move, unconventional ways to get your foot in the door of companies that interest you, how to avoid the hamster wheel of “resume and cover letter Hell,” and much more. As you’ll hear in the interview, Alexa has a ton of great insights to share, and she’s a tremendously talented person. Episode Highlights How to avoid the job search “junk food diet” and stop spamming multiple employers with your resume Why the career ladder is now more like a jungle gym Some people are so concerned they’ll make the wrong decision, that they don’t make any decision at all The importance of building transferable skills in your current career A better way to use networking to land a job that you love Why having smart questions in an interview can be better than trying to have all the answers “Not everyone is meant to build a business, but everyone needs to be the CEO of their own career.” And more… Resources Mentioned Entry Level Boss School Connect With Alexa Shoen Entry Level Boss Website Entry Level Boss School Instagram Twitter To view this post on The Distilled Man website, visit Alexa Shoen: How to Be the CEO of Your Career For a Free copy of our 42-page eBook, visit http://www.thedistilledman.com/48-hour-gentleman-ebook/

Feb 2018

1 hr 5 min

The Distilled Man - Actionable Advice for the Everyday Gentleman Today on the podcast, we talk with Larry Hagner about how to be a great dad. Larry is the founder of The Good Dad Project and the host of phenomenally successful and informative Dad Edge Podcast. He’s also the author of the book, The Dad’s Edge: 9 Simple Ways to Have: Unlimited Patience, Improved Relationships, and Positive Lasting Memories. There are many roles a man can play throughout his life—son, brother, friend, co-worker, husband…But perhaps none of these is quite as daunting as being a father. In this episode, Larry and I talk about the challenges first-time fathers face, how the dad role has changed in the last few years, how to maintain intimacy with your wife even as your family grows, and much much more. Episode Highlights Larry’s personal struggle to become a better father and husband Why Larry ultimately left a successful career to help dads become better men How fatherhood has changed in the last few decades, and the unique challenges that dads face now Why it’s critical to maintain intimacy and communication with your wife once you have kids The mistake most men make that can sabotage their happiness and ability to be a good father Why tribe and community are so important to being a successful dad “You can’t pour into anyone from an empty cup.” And more… Resources Mentioned The Shawshank Redemption Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life, by Gary John Bishop Unbeatable Mind: Forge Resiliency and Mental Toughness to Succeed at an Elite Level, by Mark Divine The Dad’s Edge: 9 Simple Ways to Have: Unlimited Patience, Improved Relationships, and Positive Lasting Memories Connect With Larry Hagner Good Dad Project Website The Dad Edge Podcast The Dad Edge Alliance The Dad Edge Facebook Group To view this post on The Distilled Man website, visit Larry Hagner: How to Be a Great Father For a Free copy of our 42-page eBook, visit http://www.thedistilledman.com/48-hour-gentleman-ebook/

Jan 2018

47 min 46 sec

The Distilled Man - Actionable Advice for the Everyday Gentleman When it comes to getting in shape, on some level, we all know what we need to do. But that doesn’t make it any easier to stick to a routine or get the results we want. On today’s episode, twin brothers Coleman and Kennedy Collins talk about why most fitness advice out there doesn’t work. We talk about the best way to build the habit of regular exercise according to behavioral science, why sometimes a simple text message from a friend can help build accountability, and how to stay healthy even when life gets in the way. Coleman and Kennedy Collins Gents, this is a first for The Distilled Man podcast. Not only is this the first time I’m doing a tandem interview, but it’s definitely the first time I’ve interviewed identical twins. Once again, my guests are Coleman and Kennedy Collins. They are the founders of Ohmcoach, a remote fitness coaching service that helps people set personalized fitness goals and keeps them accountable and on track, even when they have hectic schedules. I really enjoyed talking to these guys, but I have to admit, I gave up pretty quickly on trying to distinguish between their voices. Either way, it’s a fun episode. Episode Highlights The importance of “pre-commitment” in reaching your fitness goals Your two brains: the person making the plans isn’t the same person who carries them out Why building the right habits is critical to sticking to your fitness routine When changing your diet, add before you subtract How to set realistic goals so you stay motivated Why it’s important to find a regimen that works for your lifestyle Why remote coaching works so well for people who travel for work How to stay fit even while you’re on the road And more… Resources Mentioned The Road Warrior (coming soon) Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg Nudge by Richar Thaler Connect With Coleman and Kennedy Ohmcoach The Road Warrior (coming soon) To view this post on The Distilled Man website, visit Coleman and Kennedy Collins: Why Fitness Advice Doesn’t Work For a Free copy of our 42-page eBook, visit http://www.thedistilledman.com/48-hour-gentleman-ebook/

Dec 2017

59 min 10 sec

The Distilled Man - Actionable Advice for the Everyday Gentleman As a gentleman, you might occasionally appreciate a well-crafted cocktail. But how often to do you actually think about the ingredients? I mean, really think about where that booze came from and how it was made? On today’s episode, Amy Stewart and I talk about her fascinating book The Drunken Botanist, and how every alcohol known to man has one common origin: plants. Amy shares how throughout history man has tried to ferment nearly everything, why you need a “cocktail garden,” and why the stories behind some drinks are often just as intoxicating as the liquors themselves. Amy Stewart Hey gents, I’ve got a great episode for you. Once again, my guest is Amy Stewart. She is the New York Times best-selling author of nine books, including The Drunken Botanist, Wicked Plants, Flower Confidential, and a series of novels. Amy’s books have been translated into 16 different languages, and she has won numerous awards. You might have heard Amy on NPR’s Morning Edition or Fresh Air, and she’s been featured in the New York Times, Good Morning America, PBS, Cake Boss, and many more places. Amy travels the country as a public speaker and has presented at Cornell, Harvard, and even corporate offices like Google, where it was rumored that she served tequila and nearly broke the internet. I’d heard about her book The Drunken Botanist from a mixologist in Miami a few years ago, so it was an honor to get to chat with Amy on the podcast. Episode Highlights Why the earliest alcohol (accidentally) served as a survival mechanism Why corn was so popular for making alcohol in the early years of the US The “Monkey Puzzle Tree” and other bizarre plants that are fermented around the world Why we are currently living in the golden age of alcohol How Amy first became interested in the connection between botany and booze The swashbuckling nature of botanical history: adventures on the high sea, murder, and mayhem The truth about Benjamin Franklin and the origin of spruce beer Why Amy created a “poison garden” and the later replaced it with a “cocktail garden” The genuine health benefits of a common ingredient in your Negroni How Amy ended up on the reality show Cake Boss Resources Mentioned The Drunken Botanist Wicked Plants Wicked Bugs Flower Confidential Tales of the Cocktail Conference Connect With Amy Stewart DrunkenBotanist.com AmyStewart.com Facebook Instagram Twitter   To view this post on The Distilled Man website, visit Amy Stewart: Booze and Botany For a Free copy of our 42-page eBook, visit http://www.thedistilledman.com/48-hour-gentleman-ebook/

Nov 2017

43 min 23 sec

The Distilled Man - Actionable Advice for the Everyday Gentleman In today’s workaholic culture, sometimes the idea of allowing ourselves to simply have fun and enjoy life seems unthinkable. Yet often, especially as men, it’s exactly what we need for our own sanity On today’s episode, Charlie Hoehn shares the story of how he cured his debilitating anxiety using an unconventional strategy: play. Charlie talks about the dangers of depriving yourself of fun, and how rediscovering play can help radically transform your outlook on life, and even improve your productivity. Charlie Hoehn Hey gents, I’ve got a great episode for you. Once again, my guest is Charlie Hoehn. He is an author, marketing strategist, speaker and self-described “play enthusiast.” He is the author of Play it Away, Play for a Living, and Recession-Proof Graduate. In the past, he has also worked with notable authors and entrepreneurs such as Ramit Sethi, Seth Godin, Tucker Max, Tim Ferriss and Gary Vaynerchuck, to name a few. His work has been featured by The New York Times, NPR, Harvard Business Review, Forbes, Fast Company, TEDx, and many others. If you’ve ever felt like you have workaholic tendencies or struggled with anxiety, this may be the perfect episode for you to hear right now. Episode Highlights How Charlie was rejected for over 100 jobs before getting to work for entrepreneurs like Ramit Sethi and Tim Ferriss The dangers of getting caught up in workaholic culture and not recognizing your body’s warning signs Why Charlie started taking a performance drug designed to keep fighter pilots awake How Charlie’s anxiety got so bad that he had to quit his dream job How Charlie tried everything from exercise to flotation tanks to meditation to cure his anxiety How Charlie discovered play, and it immediately recognized it as the answer How humans evolved as a playful species “The opposite of play isn’t work, it’s depression” Why play can help make you more productive at work “Play is a state where we are truly ourselves, once we let go of our egos and fear of looking stupid” Resources Mentioned Play it Away Blog post about how Charlie reached out to Tim Ferriss Recession Proof Graduate The 4-Hour Body The 4-Hour Chef Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul The Power of Having Fun Play for a Living Office Arcade Connect With Charlie Hoehn CharlieHoehn.com Author Hour Podcast To view this post on The Distilled Man website, visit Charlie Hoehn: How to “Play Away” Your Anxiety For a Free copy of our 42-page eBook, visit http://www.thedistilledman.com/48-hour-gentleman-ebook/

Nov 2017

1 hr 8 min