Patchwork Fairy Tales

Laura Simons

New stories, stitched together with the thread of once upon a time. This is a collection of inclusive fairy tales written and recorded by Laura Simons to spread old magic in a new way. You want single fathers, pansexual princesses, found families, sapphic dragons, sword wielding ladies and asexual heroes? Then you’ve come to the right place!

All Episodes

A Patchwork Fantasy Snippet full of paws and parenting. In which two fathers find a pet for their son. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! The music used in this episode is from purple-planet.com.  Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Oct 11

4 min 55 sec

A Fix-it Fairy Tale: more kindness, more consent and more inclusivity for 'The Tinderbox'. A kind, clever soldier finds herself in possession of something magical and happens upon a princess locked away in a castle. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Sep 11

39 min 3 sec

A Patchwork Fantasy Snippet full of old books and fuzzy snouts. In which a new library assistant meets some very special library occupants. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! The music used in this episode is from purple-planet.com.  Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Aug 12

5 min 51 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the vow, the four winds and the frozen tears. Three siblings each make a wish about who they wish to marry when they grow up and the middle child finds her declaration most unexpectedly answered. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Apr 25

21 min 18 sec

Today a special straight from my blog: a social worker answering questions from various people inhabiting an urban fantasy world! Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out Purple Planet Music for the jingle from this episode. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Mar 6

9 min 24 sec

A Fix-it Fairy Tale: more kindness, more consent and more inclusivity for 'Prunella'. A flower-loving youth accidentally picks a lilac from a witch's garden and ends up having to face some very unnerving trials, but also the witch's beautiful daughter... Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Feb 7

31 min 16 sec

A Patchwork Fantasy Tale about princes and dragons. The true account of how one ferocious and honourable gentleman dragon tamed his humans.  Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Dec 2020

15 min 48 sec

A Fix-it Fairy Tale: more kindness, more consent and more inclusivity for 'Rumplestiltskin'. Spinning straw into gold and making dangerous trades is all well and good, but the rest of the Grimms’ Rumplestiltskin could really do with some fixing. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Nov 2020

22 min 40 sec

A Patchwork Fantasy Tale about friendship and childhood. The summer is a good season for forging friendships, especially where selkies are concerned. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Nov 2020

15 min 12 sec

A Patchwork Fantasy Tale about bravery and family. Dragon eggs shouldn’t be left lying around without proper care, they really shouldn’t. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Oct 2020

15 min 30 sec

An update about the return of the podcast. Feedback and suggestions are always appreciated, send them my way on Tumblr or email me at laurasimons.author@gmail.com. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Oct 2020

2 min 13 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the witch, the dragon, and the iron stove. A foolhardy girl and a cursed boy adopt each other and leave their home to find a way to lift his curse. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Aug 2020

38 min 46 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the veiled seamstress, the cruel nobles, and the jade pendant. A clever young seamstress goes to work for a lord and lady who have driven six other seamstresses away already, determined to teach them a lesson.  Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Jul 2020

31 min 52 sec

A small message on what might be to come and a lot of love from your Wednesday storyteller 💜 Feedback and suggestions are always appreciated, send them my way on Tumblr or email me at laurasimons.author@gmail.com. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Jul 2020

2 min 12 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the wayward fisherman, the caught merrow, and unasked favour. A young fisherman finds a merrow entangled in his net one day and is given the chance to ask for a single favour. This fairy tale was turned into an ongoing webcomic, drawn by Débora Cabral! You can read it here.  Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Jul 2020

39 min 40 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the brave guard, the fearless parent, and the greedy sorceress. When their husband does not come home as promised, a brave parent-to-be crosses a dangerous wasteland in search of him. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Jul 2020

29 min 59 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the nymph, the apprentice, and the three dresses. A young man who has no idea what to make of his life falls in love with a water nymph who will not leave her pool unless she has something better to wear than her water. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Jul 2020

19 min 52 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the trolls, the amulets, and the animal lords. When her little sibling gets taken, a brave girl crosses three different animal kingdoms in an attempt to find them. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Jun 2020

22 min 43 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the necklace, the ring, and the coin. A young magpie sets off into the world to find a good reason to follow the thieving instincts he was born with, and encounters several situations where a little thievery can spread a lot of happiness. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Jun 2020

16 min 30 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the bird, the nobleman, and the mysterious song. The flower girl tending to the palace gardens finds a bird that has a strange song to sing, taught to him by an unknown nobleman. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Jun 2020

16 min 2 sec

One of the things I want to try and keep doing in this time is spread good things. So here are some of my favourite shows to listen to that hopefully will bring you joy too. (This episode is rated E for the inclusion of sexual themes in the last promo, just to be sure. I give a warning before I play it.) Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi! Links to my recommendations: The Celtic Myths and Legends Podcast, by Sîan Esther Powell Oh No! Lit Class, by Megan and RJ Love and Luck, by Passer Vulpes Productions Supernatural Sexuality with Dr Seabrooke, by Passer Vulpes Productions

Jun 2020

8 min 30 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the father, the changeling, and the faerie queen. A man who has a great wish to be a father begs the fae for help, but the only children the faeries can bestow on anyone are changelings. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

May 2020

21 min 3 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the mermaids, the handkerchiefs, and the magic cure. When a prince falls deathly ill a brave washer maid sets off to find a cure. If only so his poor sister the princess will stop crying. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

May 2020

18 min 41 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the moths, the lovesickness, and the green torch. A young man grows enchanted with one of the beautiful moth girls that dance amidst the marsh fires and tries to coax her to his side. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

May 2020

20 min 48 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the pie, the count, and the mysterious baker. A young count happens to eat the best pie he has ever tasted at a party and makes it his mission to find whoever baked it so he can marry them, or at the very least offer them a job at his castle. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

May 2020

17 min 22 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the dancing, the dressing and the royal assignment. Two extremely talented sisters are called to the royal court to attend to the Queen’s only child and find that even they may not be up to the challenge. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Apr 2020

20 min 50 sec

A Patchwork Fantasy Snippet full of faerie lore and urban fantasy professionalism. In which a surprised social worker gets a visit from two very enthousiastic fae. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! The music used in this episode is from purple-planet.com.  Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Apr 2020

10 min 4 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the siblings, the curse, and the salamanders. A curious young woman sets out to see something of the world, and stumbles upon a lonely creature hidden in a dark lake. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Apr 2020

29 min 45 sec

A Patchwork Fantasy Snippet full of found family and ghosts. Two long dead best friends find an unusual visitor in their graveyard. (Content warning for child abandonment, but also child finding.) Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! The music used in this episode is from purple-planet.com.  Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Apr 2020

9 min 57 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the river, the debt, and the sick child. A woman helps a weakened river sprite and finds that this sprite now considers herself indebted to her until she has repaid the saving of her life. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Apr 2020

29 min 16 sec

A Patchwork Fantasy Snippet full of urban fantasy Greek mythology. In which an unsuspecting lawyer gets a visit from Hades and Persephone. Because I think we could all use some extra cheerfulness right now, be safe everyone x Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! The music used in this episode is from purple-planet.com. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Mar 2020

6 min 27 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the woods, the roses, and the weeds. After having eaten a stolen fruit from it when just a child, a young woman feels compelled to sneak into a witch’s garden just one more time. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Mar 2020

33 min 12 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the king, the garden, and the feather cloak. A greedy king tries to catch the bird that keeps stealing treasures from his royal garden, and ends up capturing a young shape shifter. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Mar 2020

18 min 51 sec

Rule number one: never steal from a faerie... To celebrate the halfway point of this podcast here is a special episode: the first chapter of my urban fantasy book Coffee and Faerie Cakes, which also works as a short one-shot. So come on over to hear about my nonbinary fae running a coffee shop!  And you can read the full book for free here! I welcome any feedback, on this special, the fairy tales and the podcast in general! If social media isn't your thing, you can contact me at laurasimons.author@gmail.com Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Feb 2020

19 min 6 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the ring, the kelpie, and the helpful animals. A young man grows up with the blessing of the animals that inhabit the beach where he grew up and takes this luck with him on a quest to find the perfect ring to propose to his sweetheart. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Feb 2020

22 min 3 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the young man, the bottle and the unwished wishes. A kind young man frees a genie and has a very hard time convincing said genie that he truly does not need the traditional three wishes in return. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Jan 2020

14 min 8 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the frozen mountain, the little town, and the cold journey. From the top of her frozen mountain, the lady of ice and frost allows a little town to plunge into eternal winter, not expecting anyone brave enough to come to confront her. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Jan 2020

23 min 22 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the heirs, the trials, and the valiant ladies. A wise king and queen wish to see both their daughter and son well married before deciding which one of them should take the throne, and two brave noblewomen present themselves to woo them. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Dec 2019

25 min 10 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the pretty girl, the patient man, and the kind mermaid. After losing the woman he thought he wanted to marry, a man meets a mermaid and finds out he didn’t lose anything after all. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Dec 2019

13 min 45 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the tired queen, the yearning prince, and the remarkable artist. Before he will agree to take the throne, a young prince begs to be shown three actual miracles, because he isn’t ready to rule and feels like he knows nothing of the world. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Nov 2019

24 min 56 sec

A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the servant, the wizard, and the marionette. A determined girl finds herself keeping house for a wizard and finds out that those who came before her did not fare well. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the theme song “Holiday Gift”. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!

Nov 2019

24 min 59 sec