Kyle X Why?

Sam and Jordan

You may never have watched Kyle XY, but if you were alive in 2006 you probably remember the massive advertising campaign for this mysterious boy with no belly button. What was his deal? Where did he come from? Was this show actually any good? Sam and Jordan hope to find out!

All Episodes

Last week's episode ended with Jessi and Kyle about to get sniped by hooded assassins. Now, a week later, we can reveal... that the two main characters do not at the very start of the story! Hooray! Instead, here in chapter 5, Jessi gets "treated" to some deeply disturbing visions of the 1980s, in which Adam Baylin turns out to be the worst roommate and boyfriend imaginable. He seemed so nice! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Dec 5

1 hr 2 min

Last week ended with a promise that Jessi would get drunk, and the fanfic did not disappoint! Jessi is at a party drinking an entire Kyle's bed's worth of beer, and Kyle has to fight off some goons. As if that wasn't exciting enough, the episode ends with a bunch of hooded snipers preparing to kill them both. Wow! Fortunately, Tom Foss is here to help. Oops, wait, he just left for Minsk. Ever heard of it? Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Nov 28

1 hr 11 min

We're back! This week, we start our first season 4 fanfic, "Kyle XY: The Untold Story" by fanfiction.net user Olg G. Unlike the Secret Life season 6 fanfic we read on Juergen' It, neither of us have read this one at all yet! Will it be funny? Will it be good? Yes! Thank god! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Nov 21

57 min 43 sec

For better or worse, it's over! In this jumbo gigantic episode, we break down what turned out to be the finale of Kyle XY, S03E10, "Bringing Down the House", plus the DVD special feature "Kyle XY: Future Revealed". Was the finale good? No! Oops! We also discuss our overall feelings on the whole show, surprise favorites, missed opportunities, and the Vampiros we forgot along the way. Finally, for all the Aquabats fans out there, Jordan debuts his new epic gamer parody song... and I guess that's it! Unless some enterprising young fanfic author out there has taken the time to write us a fourth season. Oh, they have? Well, see you next week! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Oct 24

2 hr 39 min

Somehow, it's almost over! This week, we watched the second last episode: S03E09, "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner". They already did it in season 2 with Ballantine, but let's do it again with Cassidy I guess? Season 3 is not very good, it turns out, unless you're first and foremost a Josh Trager fan. Too much Josh, not enough Foss. Oh well! I'm sure next season will be better! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Oct 17

1 hr 56 min

IMDB told us this was the third best episode of Kyle XY, so we've got friends of the show Val and Giga joining us to talk about the very Big Episode of S03E08, "The Tell-Tale Heart"! Is it as good as the IMDB score suggests? Kessi shippers certainly think so! Good thing we don't know anyone like that! Anyway, I wonder if Michael Cassidy is a villain or just a cool RA? Sam | Jordan | Val | Gigalithic Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Oct 10

2 hr 24 min

In the preantepenultimate (I looked it up) episode of Kyle XY, S03E07, "Chemistry 101", a lot of things happen. Here are some of them: Kyle begs Cassidy to let Jessi join Latnok. Kyle and Jessi plan a pheromone party with magic crystals. Andy catfishes a girl on Coolzone to set Josh up with a new girlfriend after she leaves. Tom Foss isn't in it. Stephen and Nicole are also not in it. There are three episodes after this. Where is Hillary?! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Oct 3

1 hr 53 min

Now here's an episode to hurt your brains! It's S03E06, "Welcome to Latnok"! You know how we've spent the entire show dealing with Latnok and their various subgroups, and how it's well-established that they're a shadowy cultish organization with symbolic rings named after the prophet who they believe will lead mankind into a brighter future? Well, what if instead of that, they were the Burger King Kids Club? And Kyle had to compete in a hoverboard building competition against a jealous regular? Would that be good? Listen and find out! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Sep 26

2 hr 3 min

I hope you're ready to experience car crash, because this week we're talking about S03E05, "Life Support"! It's like two episodes got car crashed together! First, we have a funny episode about Kyle and Josh delivering a stranger's baby while Jessi and Stephen play scrabble. After that, we shift gears very suddenly to a serious medical drama about Nicole in the ICU. I can't keep up! At least Andy is okay! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Sep 19

1 hr 38 min

It's the episode we've all been waiting for: the one where Kyle XY calls himself "Kyle XY", AKA S03E04, "In the Company of Men"! We're joined by Erin and Jesse of Secret Life of Two Gay American Teenagers to break down this ridiculous episode, similar to how Impound Man tried to break down three teenagers by swinging a chain at them and shooting them with a gun. Also, more Mark/Lori stuff! It really makes you wish they'd bring back Leclan, huh? Sam | Jordan | Erin | Jesse Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Sep 12

2 hr 24 min

We're mad at Kyle this week. It's S03E03, "Electric Kiss", and Kyle decided to be a real jerk. Jessi is living with the Tragers, and Amanda has a big piano recital coming up. She's very stressed about Kessi, not to mention the mysterious brain pains she's had since prom night. What's Kyle's remarkable plan to help his girlfriend while strengthening her trust in him? Well, maybe a practice kiss with Jessi will help. Oh, Kyle. Meanwhile, josh has gone full Cyberseduction: His Secret Life. Good luck with that one, Stephen and Nicole! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Sep 5

1 hr 54 min

I'm going to make a prediction right now. When the white rabbit swims at midnight... you will listen to this episode of Kyle X Why? This week, we're watching S03E02, "Psychic Friend". What could that title mean, I wonder? Well, Kyle and company are going to the seventh or eighth fair of the series, and there's a psychic there. Wow! Will her predictions come true? Will Kyle finally stop being the worst boyfriend ever? How many times will Jordan read the Wikipedia article for the band Faber Drive? The psychics in the audience already know, but the rest of you will have to listen and find out! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Aug 29

1 hr 52 min

We're in the final stretch! This week, we watched the season 3 premiere: S03E01, "It Happened One Night"! And, folks, that title could just as well have been the title of the season 2 finale, because, folks? It's all the same night, folks! That's right, we're back to prom night! Thank god! Well, it may not move the timeline forward very much, but... well? Folks??? Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Aug 22

2 hr 13 min

Two down, one to go! At long last, we've reached the prom episode, which is also the season 2 finale: S02E23, "I've Had the Time of My Life"! As Jessi prepares to leave town forever (or until next episode, knowing this show) Amanda prepares the world's worst prom. Yikes! Well, the important thing is to have fun and not worry about everything being perfect. Hopefully Kyle can make it perfect anyway! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Aug 15

2 hr 15 min

We're almost at the end of season 2, but prom night is still not yet upon us! Don't worry, promheads, because S02E22, "Hello...", is still almost entirely about prom! Phew! How will they pay for it? Who is going to be the DJ? Will Josh be able to get ten thousand dollars? Somehow, for some reason? I can't wait to find out! This truly is the night of our dreams. Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Aug 1

2 hr 7 min

Happy Hooper Banana Day, everyone! To celebrate, we're watching Kyle XY S02E21, "Grey Matters". Josh's test results are back, and he crushed it! I bet the mean principal or vice principal will be very happy for him. What a nice storyline, probably! I will now take a big sip of chocolate syrup and spaghetti and press play on the episode! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Jul 18

2 hr 1 min

Oh no! In S02E20, "Primary Colors", our best boy Kyle has become regular! That's right, his brain has declined to that of a standard nine-monther like you or me. What could have done this? Maybe Hillary will be able to help! I'm frizzling my leeks as we speak! Also, Lori is writing the theme song for the prom. I don't know. Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Jul 11

2 hr

You know, people always talk about "jumping the shark" like it's a bad thing. Is it though? What if jumping a shark was just a really cool thing for a character to do? Well, this is Kyle XY S02E19, "First Cut Is the Deepest", and nobody jumps any sharks in it (unfortunately) but something equally ridiculous happens. Is it good? Who's to say? We are, and it is. Thanks Kyle! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Jul 4

2 hr 13 min

Get outta here, customers! This is Kyle XY S02E18, "Between the Rack and a Hard Place", AKA "Sam and Jordan Talk About Working in Food Service for Two Hours"! Amanda's evil mother has punished her for (????) by making her get a job at the Rack, because it's the only place, and the shift lead that day decided to choose violence. How will Josh and Amanda fend off swarms of angry customers on a busy Sunday with just the two of them? How will Sam and Jordan fend off swarms of angry customers in their nightmares? Find out! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Jun 27

2 hr 16 min

The Trager Teens really messed up by trying to help their friend last week, so this week they're S02E17, "Grounded"! Kyle has smuggled Amanda into his room, [see title]! How will he keep her hidden from her mom and the nosy Tragers and the nosier Jessi and the nosiest social worker? Seems like there's a lot going on this week, and I haven't even mentioned that there's another Preston's Party happening! I hope Lori gets to go see all her wonderful friends! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Jun 20

2 hr 3 min

Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Seattle where we lay our scene... sounds like Kyle XY S02E16, "Great Expectations", obviously! It's the Romeo and Juliet episode for some reason, and these households truly are alike in dignity, between our least favorite son Josh Trager and our least favorite mom Carol Bloom! No dignity to be found! This episode isn't the best, but at least Hillary isn't in it, right? Right??? Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Jun 13

2 hr 18 min

We weren't able to do an episode this week, so please enjoy this unlocked episode on the bad movie Grease 2 from our Patreon series The Grant High School Exchange Program, originally recorded in October 2019! This month, for some reason, we're heading to Rydell High to hang out with the T-Birds and the Pink Ladies. It's Grease 2, the movie everyone loves to watch, and remember, and enjoy, and enjoy remembering watching! The songs aren't great, and the fake greaser voices are nails on a chalkboard terrible, but at least the riders are cool. Come join us down in the football ditch as we discuss motorcycle ghosts, sex bunkers, and racism luaus.  Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Jun 6

1 hr 49 min

Another bad one this week! It's S02E15, "The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades", and we've cracked the code on what makes a bad episode of Kyle XY. It's Hillary! This is a Hillary episode! She's committed herself to becoming the "Queen of Fabulous" because the writers noticed that all the kids love Sharpay from High School Musical. Hillary is so bad this week that we barely talked about the fact that Kyle can fly now! Ugh! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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May 30

1 hr 53 min

Remember before when we joked about Kyle doing a heist with Stephen and Nicole? Well, this is S02E14, "To C.I.R. With Love", and, well. Good joke, us! So, this is the episode where the Tragers do a heist. Like the previous heist episode, it's a little busted, but that's okay. What's important is that Jessi is perfectly fine! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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May 23

2 hr 7 min

Some good news and some bad news this week. The good news is that Kyle XY S02E13, "Leap of Faith", is totally off the wall and very good. The bad news is that a lot of it is pretty bad. In this longer-than-most-but-who-am-I-kidding-they're-all-pretty-long episode, we spend a lot of time breaking down what the show does right (everyone except Josh and Nicole) and what the show does wrong (Josh and Nicole). Also, Tom Foss is here, so it's a 100% good episode actually. Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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May 16

2 hr 32 min

Quick, get inside! It's S02E12, "Lockdown", and everyone has to be inside! Please don't ask why, it's not important. Anyway, now that you're here, want to rehash some boring Leclan drama? (That's what I call Lori and Declan!) Or maybe you'd be more interested in some uncomfortable Jandy content? (That's what I call Josh and Andy!) Don't worry, this episode isn't all bad. Tom Foss is in it! In fact, Tom Foss is in it so good that the episode is actually very good! Thank you, Tom Foss! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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May 9

2 hr 2 min

Rev up your hands! Roy of the show Roy is joining us to talk about S02E11, "Hands on a Hybrid"! There's a car-touching contest and you KNOW Kyle is going to crush it, so, what else is going on? Stephen continues to get trolled by his terrible boss, Mr. Ballantine. Tom Foss is getting brain tortured which is pretty fun, I guess. Sorry, I wish I was better at hyping things up. Can we get Sideshow Bob in here to take over for me? That guy really knows how to get the party going! Sam | Jordan | Roy Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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May 2

2 hr 16 min

Get your hacking USBs ready, because we've got a heist this week! It's Kyle XY S02E10, "House of Cards", and our favorite trio of Kyle, Declan, and Tom Foss are going to break into Madacorp. How will that go? Foss is involved, so probably really well! Meanwhile, Ballantine's evil plan to break up Nicole and Stephen's marriage for some reason is progressing for some reason. If only Stephen hadn't left his butt stuff in the hotel room! Come on, Stephen! Anyway, that's gonna do it for this episode description. I gotta get going or I'm gonna miss the Pachelbel's Canon in D 10 Hours concert! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Apr 18

1 hr 53 min

Finally, an episode for us '90s kids! It's S02E09, "Ghost in the Machine", and Lori has decided that she wants to go see the murder forest - but, uh oh, that's where Zyzzx used to be! What will happen? A bunch of flashbacks to Zyzzx in 1992, it turns out! Will Kyle get a Skip-It? Will Josh listen to *NSYNC? Which Scooby-Doo character is Amanda? Find out the answers to all these questions and more! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Apr 11

1 hr 46 min

Religion fans, rejoice! We're watching S02E08, "What's the Frequency, Kyle?" and it's another faith-focused episode. William's estranged father is in a coma, but will Kyle be able to talk to the angels in time to fix their relationship? Will Josh finally stop calling Kyle an alien and recognize him as the prophet he is? Will Declan watch The Cable Car Diaries with Lori?! Oh, also, some stuff happens with Hollandaise and Jessi. It's probably fine. Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Apr 4

1 hr 42 min

Three cheers for Moms' Rights! This week we're joined by Helga, one of the two or three people on the planet who have seen every episode of Kyle XY, to discuss S02E07, "Free to Be You and Me"! It's allegedly an episode about gay rights, but is it really? I guess you'll have to ask one of the gay characters on this show what they think! Good luck! While you're looking for one, we'll just be sitting here clapping and cheering for Josh... but what else is new? Haha! Sam | Jordan | Helga Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Mar 28

2 hr 15 min

We've got a wild episode for you this week! It's S02E06, which is genuinely titled "Does Kyle Dream of Electric Fish?" Kyle unlocks a new power and immediately levels it up into a new, less plausible power. It's like late season 1 all over again! I love this boy! Meanwhile, Josh goes on his first date... or does he? No, because he already went on a date in season 1, but also, or does he? Really makes you think... or does it? Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Mar 21

1 hr 43 min

Foss may not appear in S02E05, "Come to Your Senses", but his presence is certainly felt! He's got Kyle doing sensory deprivation to unlock his Assassin's Creed Eagle Vision. To what end? Well, he almost gets hit by a car. Also, Josh commits the ultimate crime: being a gamer. Anyway, who cares about any of that? Our favorite human teen Vampiro is back, and he's running a pawn shop! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Mar 14

1 hr 44 min

Happy Josh Day, everyone! Friend of the show Val of LMNOP and Zero to Zero joins us this week for S02E04, "Balancing Act", to celebrate the special boy's special day with some fun new theories. Is Kyle a dog? Yes. Is Josh an ancestor of Ben Boykewich? Sure! Also, Thomas Foss's incompetence reaches new heights... literally! Haha! Sam | Jordan | Val Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Mar 7

2 hr 27 min

What's up, fellow teens? This week's episode, S02E03, "The List Is Life," was ghost-written by Brenda Hampton. Just kidding, it was vampire-written by Julie Plec! Haha! This is our teendramaiest episode yet, and your mileage may vary. There's a list, there's a bonfire, there's the video game of the movie "G-Force", what more could you want? Well, a lot, but whatever! Don't complain too much, unless you want to win the Biggest Diaper Baby Award! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Feb 21

1 hr 50 min

It took almost a full episode, but at short last we're back at Trager U in S02E02, "The Homecoming"! How will Kyle explain his return to the Tragers? Pretty easily, it turns out! These people will believe anything, no matter how cartoonish. Meanwhile, we've got a new character on our hands, and her name is Slimy XX! What will she do? How fast can she swim? Can she dunk? Will we see the Slizzle Dizzle? Listen and find out! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Feb 14

1 hr 32 min

Well! Season 2 is upon is, and, uh! Well. Well, well, well. We thought we knew what Kyle XY had in store for us at this point but we were really not ready for S02E01, "The Prophet". Adam Baylin is here and he's got some answers for us. Are they the answers we expected? Some of them are! As for the rest... well!!! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Feb 7

1 hr 55 min

Oh boy! It's the season finale, S01E10, "Endgame", and the title might not be super accurate because there are thirty or so episodes left after this but wow! Great episode! Kyle gets to know his maybe parents, but Declan isn't buying it. Could it be true? Of course not! Or could it?! AHHH!!!!! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Jan 31

1 hr 49 min

This week we're joined by Max of Pod of Greed, Wow! Cool Robot!! and Slappers Only to discuss S01E09, "Overheard", and oh boy what an episode we have this week. It's good! The show is good! Kyle has discovered a new power, but will he use it for good or for Josh? Is his brain strong enough to handle it? Yes, of course, but what if it isn't? And who is this mysterious corporation? And what is this mysterious accent?! Find out in the penultimate episode of season 1! Sam | Jordan | Max Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Jan 24

1 hr 56 min

Looks like the timeskips just keep coming, because Kyle is going to college already! Kind of! We're talking about S01E08, "Memory Serves", and the plot is really getting going! Kyle may have forgotten about how Foss Truckman definitely killed Kern, but who cares? We're heading to UW, where a lot happens! Let's just say... we think he's a clone now!!!! Also Declan and Lori have drama who cares god I'm falling asleep just thinking about it Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Jan 17

1 hr 36 min

Still waiting for resolution on Kyle's school situation from two weeks ago? Well, give up! This week we're watching S01E07 "Kyle Got Game", and it's a basketball episode! The finals are coming up, so I guess we're a ways into the school year, and Kyle is ready to play! Put him in, coach! Or don't, because he doesn't actually know the rules of the game. The championship? Are you sure? Okay! Meanwhile, the Hillary subplot is putting us to sleep. Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Jan 10

1 hr 49 min

Waiting for resolution on Kyle's school situation from last week? Well, wait longer! This week we're watching S01E06, "Blame It on the Rain", and it's a bottle episode! They remembered that Seattle is known for having a lot of rain, so it's raining, and everyone is stuck inside Trager U all day, and everyone includes Declan and Amanda. Meanwhile XY, Kyle demonstrates new supernatural abilities and a new personality quirk. Fun! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Jan 3

2 hr 14 min

At last, it's what we've all been waiting for! S01E05, "This Is Not a Test", Kyle's first day of school! As our beautiful boy stumbles comically through the hallways, Lori and Josh deal with their own teen struggles: Hillary and Josh. Ugh, my friend and I wore the same shirt! How could this day get any w-- [falls down stairs] Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Dec 2020

1 hr 58 min

After last week's fiasco, we're trying our best to right the ship, but this show just isn't making it easy for us. This week, we watched S01E04, "Diving In", in which Kyle gets his first erection. Great! It's an episode that is heavy on the teen drama side, and also heavy on characters who look like High School Musical. Is that a bad thing? In this case, yes. If only they had cool wrap around sunglasses like Josh! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Dec 2020

2 hr 1 min

Okay, look. This episode goes off the rails. I'll tell you that right now. Our friend Gigalithic, artist of the show, joins us this week to discuss S01E03, "The Lies That Bind", but mostly to fuel the flames of hatred between Sam and Jordan. Everything that happens this week is Giga's fault, okay? Anyway, this is the episode where Kyle learns about lying. Have fun! Sam | Jordan | Gigalithic Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Dec 2020

2 hr

Well, would you look at the time! It's time for us to talk about S01E02, "Sleepless in Seattle". What a time we had! It's time for Kyle to go to bed, but he's having a hard time falling asleep. Nicole makes some time to take him to the doctor, but all Kyle cares about is doing a jigsaw puzzle - in record time! Time, time, time, time, time! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Dec 2020

1 hr 36 min

Welcome to the first and only podcast all about Kyle XY! Remember Kyle XY? The show with the guy who has no belly button? Your favorite ABC Family podcasters Sam and Jordan are here to find out if it's actually any good, and more importantly, why doesn't he have a belly button? This week, we watch S01E01, in which Kyle pisses his pants and loves it. Alright then! Welcome to the show! Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

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Nov 2020

1 hr 57 min