Impolite Company

Impolite Company, LLC

Comedian Chris Cyr brings his brand of targeted hedonism to you on a semi-regular basis. Monologues, diatribes, and conversations about everything from coffee to the increasing likelihood that we're all living in the fever dream of a dying DMT user, no topic is off limits. #NoGodsNoMasters Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company

All Episodes

From our series of interviews recorded during quarantine, St. Louis comic, Kate Barton is the guest during our new favorite segment, "Who's Effing?"  (It's not actually called "Who's Effing?" but you can't drop an F-Bomb in your show's description. Chris and Kate talk about cucumber sandwiches, spittle, and elevators.  During the intro, Chris gives some advice on how to score free stuff from a hospital. Follow Kate on Twitter and Instagram. Enjoy today's Impolite Company. Our opening theme song was written and produced by Lyfestile and Kenautis Smith.  Go listen to their album "From Which I Came" and support independent artists. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Jun 27

42 min

No cute line from a poem today.  Chris explains why he hasn't published a new episode in the few weeks, and why the next episode will sound strange since it was recorded back before the streets were filled with protests.  A few thoughts on the murder of George Floyd, and just how long eight minutes and forty six seconds is. Black Lives Matter.  We should know that by now. Our new theme song was written and produced by Lyfestyle and Kenautis Smith.  Check out their album, "From Which I Came" on Spotify, Apple Music, or every other platform. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Jun 24

12 min

The first in a series featuring our new segment, "Who's F@*%ing?"  Chris interviews Ellen Doyle, a traveling comic who's sheltering in Pennsylvania.  The two discuss everything from dating apps, to the best review Ellen's ever received from an audience member.  Also, CSI: Madea. Enjoy this new episode of Impolite Company. Ellen Doyle is the favorite child of two fifth generation coal miners.  She was famously the fourth heterosexual to graduate from her all girls college, but has so far been unable to produce genetic proof of her love for reproductive sex due to black magic. She moved to the west coast to pursue her lifelong dream of creating reality television but has been forced into a life of stand up comedy due to the fact that everyone just watches Netflix now. Ellen has been known to being nice to animals and children (in that order) and dreams of doing comedy for poor kids in no kill shelters. So far she has had to settle for performing at the SLO Comedy Festival, The World Series of Comedy, The North Carolina Comedy Festival, Sno Jam Comedy Festival, Mutiny Radio Comedy Festival, The Paul Bunyan Comedy Festival and the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in Scotland. She tours the United states in a leased 2018 Kia Sorento that is well over its miles. She has been featured at clubs, breweries, coffee shops and public restrooms across America's heartland. She owns a dog named "Ghost". Ghost was featured on animal planets "Rescue Dog to Super Dog". Ellen has no on camera credits. Dog:1 Owner: 0 --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

May 23

53 min

It's one of those ranty kind of nights where Chris watched too much CNN.  The target of his ire?  Armed protesters in Michigan and elsewhere, the militia guarding an angry barber, pickup driving rednecks who murdered a man, and a rampaging herd of 200 goats. Enjoy this new episode of Impolite Company.  Or don't.  We're not cops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

May 15

33 min

A dead cat. Survivalists. Phone sex.  Not all part of the same story.  Today's quarantine episode of Impolite Company has something for everyone. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

May 5

37 min

It was a different world last March. There were shows. In public. With people. New episode tomorrow, but first in this flashback episode Chris gives step by step money laundering instructions for your pot dispensary since banks are reluctant to open accounts for your new business.  The real purpose of the puzzles boxes from Hellraiser is way dirtier than you thought.  Patchouli should go away.  And what's up with Blood Alley? March of 2019 --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Apr 25

54 min

From the stasis of quarantine, Chris Cyr gives you the top 10 ways you can prove yourself useful to future aliens who happen to thaw you out in hopes of learning something about the human race.  Also, buy a shop vac.   It's Impolite Company time! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Apr 17

42 min

#QuarantineLife continues as Chris mourns the loss of a staple of our existence, says good riddance to a terrible food vending method, and lets you know that it's perfectly okay to not learn a new skill right now. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Apr 6

35 min

New episode coming up tomorrow. For now, enjoy this classic Impolite episode where Chris wonders why the woman at McDonald's quit mid-order.  Listeners give some of their worst work experiences. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Apr 5

54 min

We're homing in on the right settings for this home podcasting thing during quarantine.  Hopefully the days of studio casting will be upon us before too long. Chris talks about working from home, some weird conspiracy, and then tells another of his favorite "longest jokes(?) ever!" --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Mar 25

30 min

Kenny Rogers is dead.  That's not cool.  Chris recalls some inappropriate childhood moments, along with some sweet moments involving "The Gambler."  Who bought all of the Nintendo Switches?  St. Louis locks down at 6:00 p.m. on Monday 3/23/2020. Impolite Company is Quarantined! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Mar 23

36 min

The semi-quarantine continues as Chris talks about praying to both Prince and Les Paul, why old people love him, and licking people with face masks?  We don't know.  He just talks and weird stuff comes out.  If you know, then you know. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Mar 20

29 min

After a long hiatus, Chris Cyr returns to the Impolite Company microphone, recording from the dining room table as he, and the rest of America, have been told to stay indoors and self isolate in order to not bring about an apocalypse.  The sound you hear in the background might be the refrigerator, or it might be the hooves of the fourth horseman running down Route 66. Also, a discussion of ninja smoke bombs. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Mar 19

31 min

Chris is on the road today, so there's not a regular episode.  He did fire up the ol' remote studio (a.k.a. The Samsung Galaxy S 8) and give you his two favorite street jokes in observance of Comedy Contest Season!  Also, most of America needs to learn how elevators work. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Aug 2019

30 min

Chris makes the case for moving New Year's Day to the summer.  He rants about a lot of stuff. The late night crowd at his show this weekend hated him, which was awesome.  One more call for a revolution. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Jun 2019

55 min

Chris gives away three million dollar ideas on today's episode.  The best of which is a new children's series featuring the remaining members of the Wu Tang Clan.  He recounts his memorial day weekend, and complains about a car that needs to be retired. Welcome to Impolite Company. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

May 2019

54 min

Chris discusses Game of Thrones, insomnia, conspiracies, LSD, and good Christian values. Impolite Company is here to remind you, #NoGodsNoMasters --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

May 2019

57 min

Back from his trip to New York, Chris catches up with the audience, discusses NYC, Game of Thrones, Avengers, Illinois's recreational marijuana effort, and wants to know "Are we recording?" Welcome to Impolite Company! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

May 2019

45 min

Chris wonders if he's ready to start the show. He can't work the coffeemaker in the studio.  He delivers a special pep talk for you about accomplishing your dreams. RIP Notre Dame cathedral. It's #NoGodsNoMastersNoChurches on today's Impolite Company! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Apr 2019

54 min

Chris is under siege from a pigeon who's nesting on his front porch. Will he survive this aggression? Who knows?  Exploding soup cans, weird house selling superstitions, and other topics all get blown off so he can spend more time on the bird. Listen to Impolite Company! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Apr 2019

53 min

Chris sings most of today's episode.  We don't mean that he sings on today's show, we mean he SINGS THE DAMN SHOW.  He assures us there were no drugs involved.  Most of the show involves, Joe Biden, and how "Biden: The Musical" is not going to be made.  He didn't mean for that to happen, but it did.  We also briefly discussed new superhero trailers, but somehow made it back to Biden.  The hour went by really fast. That's Impolite Company for you. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Apr 2019

56 min

Do you have a "Go Bag?"  What is the weird thing people are going to find when you die, a coffee can full of your fingernail clippings?  R.I.P. coffee cans, in this age of plastic. Donald trump has an army of meth heads to protect him if he loses the next election.  Sam Elliot. It's time for Impolite Company! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Mar 2019

57 min

It's an abbreviated show today since Chris overslept.  But, it's a perfect time to let you know about the recent change at Chris's local doughnut shop.  The Mueller report is completed, and even though no one's read it, everyone's sure it supports their argument. Chris worries that the secret service will misinterpret his intentions. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Mar 2019

38 min

Chris Cyr wonders why liberals are starting to eat at ChicFillA again.  For that matter, why are they spending money on fish fries at churches across the country?  Also, a completely made up survey about the end of the world. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Mar 2019

59 min

Did you know that public transportation runs late as part of an organized conspiracy to increase the rate of fatal pneumonia in poor people? We did. Chris Cyr informs you on today's Impolite Company! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Mar 2019

53 min

Chris describes his experience with a sensory deprivation tank, wonders why his bank doesn't accept cash half the time, Panda Express people are loud, and how did we survive Facebook being down?  Get on Twitter and Get Ready for Today's Impolite Company! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Mar 2019

56 min

All we're saying is that if you're a dude and your buddy says "Hey, check this out!" you let him send you a pic.  Also, who, other than everyone, John Wayne was a racist homophobe? Toilet bowls full of foam. Snowstorms that may or may not come. And of course, a rant about social media. It's a full menu from Impolite Company! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Feb 2019

52 min

Happy Valentine's Day from Impolite Company. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Feb 2019

46 min

Yeah, we don't even know where to begin.  A recent gig in rural Illinois has Chris concerned about vampires and cannibals.  He has tips for both.  It's a weird episode of Impolite Company! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Feb 2019

41 min

Chris is certain he's a city kid through and through.  He recounts a time his car was broken into and reveals that he's much more efficient at breaking into cars, but doesn't explain how he knows that. Also, doughnuts. It's a deep dive on today's Impolite Company. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Feb 2019

49 min

We're not sure if Chris is ranting about Donald Trump and keeps getting distracted by Liam Neeson, or if he's ranting about Liam Neeson and keeps getting distracted by Donald Trump.  But, we can all agree that it'd have been a different week if Liam had made his confession to Oprah, instead of to the Independent. Strap one on for today's Impolite Company! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Feb 2019

47 min

It's been a year! Chris discusses personal and creative growth, and tells a few jokes he wrote in his first year of comedy. The new DCU shows are fun. Also, if you purposefully use the wrong pronoun to address a person, you're an a-hole. That's a pretty non-controversial opinion he pretends is a hot take.  Don't be an a-hole.   It's Impolite Company! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Feb 2019

46 min

The government shut down is over and Chris wonders if this is the type of negotiating we can expect from the POTUS when he protects US interests with North Korea.  Also, don't use duct tape for sex play, addresses the "why are you politicial?" question, and DON'T DUMP OUT COFFEE!!! For Christ's sake people, it's coffee. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Jan 2019

47 min

Warning: Today's episode was recorded in the car, on the highway, Tuesday night. We meant to post it late that night, but time, man...time. Chris cusses too much and apologizes for it.  He discusses current events ranging from bratty white kids in red hats to the government shut down.  Also, why you're the problem with True Detective season 2.   It's Impolite Company! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Jan 2019

56 min

A veritable buffet of American exceptionalism was bestowed upon the Clemson Tigers yesterday.  Let's talk about it.  Also, it snowed in St. Louis.  Need learn furniture? --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Jan 2019

50 min

Chris lists a number of things you could have done last night instead of watching Donald Trump's speech.  It's a long list.  The plural of "moose" is "moose."  Right?  The Chrysler Building is for sale. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Jan 2019

51 min

Chris spends a lot of time talking about flat tires, which somehow still brings up the subjects of donuts.  Do people pick up escorts at the front door? Does the government shutdown mean we can act crazy on mass transit now? And it's interesting that Trump didn't try making his little speech during the national championship game last night. Also, he's not even allowed to commit murder. So, relax. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Jan 2019

47 min

Chris discusses the news that the Chinese government launched a lunar rover on the far side of the Earth's moon.  Completely ignoring recent achievements by the U.S. space program, Chris angrily screams into the abyss about why we don't have an Auntie Anne's Pretzels at Lagrange 5 to serve colonists on their way to new worlds. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Jan 2019

50 min

It's a new year, but what does that really mean?  How we measure time is a construct created by men who wanted a way to chart their moment by moment progress towards their graves.  Also, don't hijack trains. We swear it all ties together, maybe.  Enjoy today's Impolite Company! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Jan 2019

48 min

Chris bemoans the fact that it doesn't feel like Christmas, gives advice to long haul drivers tempted to buy imitation amphetamines, makes a suggestion about international nuclear proliferation that may be illegal, and more! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Dec 2018

49 min

Chris gives you advice for your annual performance review,  surviving toxic holiday culture in your corporate job, and if you're going to be an axe murderer, choose your victims wisely.  Die Hard is a Christmas Movie. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Dec 2018

49 min

Chris can't handle the Salvation Army bell ringers who block the ingress to every retail establishment he wants to go to this time of year.  He spends a good part of the episode airing his grievances. George H.W. Bush died this week.  The general feeling ranges from "SAD" to "MEH".  Chris points out that no president gets into heaven, and the Prince always had more power than the sitting president. It's national cookie day. Eff cookies. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Dec 2018

44 min

Chris gives a different take on Christmas classics like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, and How The Grinch Stole Christmas.  He also made the mistake of listening to Christmas music on the way into the studio this morning. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Nov 2018

49 min

Chris knows he needs a commercial, but isn't sure about what format to use.  He makes sure you know how to celebrate the first Wednesday after Thanksgiving,  more commonly known as Broke Wednesday. Chris also worries that he may get food poisoning. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Nov 2018

49 min

Chris discusses the unavoidable problem of pie, the lessons of Creed 2, Christmas Trees, and kids. Get back into the swing of things with today's Impolite Company. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Nov 2018

49 min

Exclusively for the internet, Chris hides in a bathroom and record and records a special episode for the Thanksgiving holiday.  Don't play Hallelujah on bar jukeboxes.  What are you thankful for? Pie! And a lost tribe knows how to handle Jehovah's Witnesses. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Nov 2018

54 min

Cold bubbly water poured into your crotch will wake you up quite well. Chris shares this and other secrets.  He also wants to know, what the hell is wrong with you, Missouri? --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Nov 2018

49 min

Sam kills Chris again, and takes over the show. Yolanda MizzUnderstood Brown (yes, say the whole thing) joins him to talk Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, and cuffing season. Catch her being sued by her son on Judge Mathis Thursday at 3pm on ABC. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Nov 2018

52 min

Chris has election advice for Missouri voters.  Mostly, that advice is to not let Josh Hawley make it to the U.S. Senate.  Seriously, Josh Hawley looks like he'd fuck cancer victims, in every sense of the word.  Don't vote for him. Seriously. Don't fucking vote for that guy. Also, demons. We talk about demons, and rituals, and food, maybe? It got a little hazy at one point. Chris mispronounced Gillespie and Peyton cracked up. Hawley can text in an opposing opinion if he wants. We dare him. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Nov 2018

49 min

One night in August, Chris went to a party.  The party kept going until it night became morning.  The show doesn't stop just because of whiskey. This is a cautionary tale.  If you consume too much of the devil's party water, you're going to say some questionable things.  Especially concerning the series finale of M*A*S*H. So anyway, here's the episode that was "lost" to the general public. He doesn't drink any more.  But you should.  He likes it that way. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/impolite-company/support

Nov 2018

54 min

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