This Is Actually Happening

Wondery

What if your mother left to follow a cult… or you woke up in a morgue… or if your boat got caught in a storm and began to sink -- what would you do?

 This is Actually Happening brings you extraordinary true stories of life-changing events told by the people who lived them. From a man who finds out a celebrity crush isn’t who she seems to a woman stranded in a Mexican desert fighting to survive, these stories will have you on the edge of your seat waiting to hear what happens next.New episodes come out every Tuesday for free, with ad-free episodes and exclusive past episodes available for Wondery+ subscribers.

Season 9 Announcements
TrailerE 3 min 30 sec

All Episodes

“I was like a walking dead. I was just a shell, but I couldn’t stop…my soul was gone.” Producer: Whit MissildineGuest: Kenneth Ginlack Sr. Episode Summary: Growing up in the projects and a broken home, a man learns survive on the streets through dealing drugs and brutal violence, when a desperate moment leaves him with a choice that changes everything.  Today’s episode featured Kenneth Ginlack, Sr. Kenneth has been the Director of Outpatient Programs for Milwaukee County Behavior Health Division (BHD), an ad-hoc instructor at the University of Wisconsin Continuing Education extension program, president of the board of directors for Revive Youth and Family Services, and a board member for SALS Recovery Houses and Coaching. Kenneth is now Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of Serenity Inns. You can find out more about Kenneth by going to kgsctc.com Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Content/Trigger Warnings: explicit violence, gun violence, domestic abuse, drug use, drug addiction, suicide, murder, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Betterhelp: betterhelp.com/happening; Simplisafe: simplisafe.com/actually; Acorn TV: acorn.tv, code HAPPENING; The Zebra: thezebra.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Ambient Themes by Nigel Coutinho ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Dec 7

1 hr 7 min

“My life is so much more fragile than I thought it was, and my existence goes beyond this tiny little place that I live in.” Today’s episode featured Jenna. You can find out more about her on Instagram @jennajacqueline. Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpisode Summary: Breaking away from her childhood, a teenager buries a traumatic encounter in self harm, pushing her to the limits of life and death. Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Jason Blalock: www.jasonblalock.com Content/Trigger Warnings: sexual assault, drug use, suicidal ideation, graphic bodily injury, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Uncommon Goods: uncommongoods.com/happening; Credit Karma: creditkarma.com/loanoffersSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Uncertain Outcomes/Embers” – SkyeVoyager https://linktr.ee/SkyeVoyager ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Nov 30

49 min 59 sec

It was supposed to be a reality show with a twist. In a sun-drenched villa in Ibiza, six hot guys compete for a cash prize and for the love of the beautiful and mysterious Miriam. It’s meant to be her big break: the moment she becomes the superstar she was born to be. But this is the era of “cruel reality TV” and the show producers have a different goal: they want to surprise the men with the fact that Miriam is trans. A new six-episode investigative series from Wondery, the makers of The Shrink Next Door and The Apology Line, and from Novel, HARSH REALITY is the story about love, lies, reality TV and a woman before her time: Miriam Rivera. Written by Agnes Borinsky and hosted by Trace Lysette.Listen to Harsh Reality: The Story of Miriam Rivera at wondery.fm/HR_TIAHSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Nov 29

4 min 31 sec

“It just got too hurtful to think of him in the ground and me still alive…I couldn’t understand the meaning in it.”Today’s episode featured Hayley Ross. If you’d like to reach out to Hayley you can contact her at kattannie@yahoo.com. Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: Growing up in an abusive household, a woman struggles to find meaning in her life, when one night, a sudden, unexpected, violent attack changes her life forever. Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Andrew Waits: www.andrdewwaits.com  Content/Trigger Warnings: domestic violence, physical abuse, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, sexual assault, graphic violence, graphic bodily injury, murder, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: ID Tech: idtech.com/happening; Hunter Douglas Blinds: hunterdouglas.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Cylinder Four/Five” – Chris Zabriskie ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Nov 23

52 min 44 sec

“I had no reference point of how to live or behave or anything….It was like this cocoon had been just ripped away from me, and I didn’t know what my beliefs really were.” Today’s episode featured Benjamin. If you’d like to reach out, you can email him at exjwbw@yahoo.com. Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpisode Summary: A man searches to find love for himself and his family after facing the dark consequences of being disfellowshipped by the Jehovah’s Witness.Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Jason Blalock: www.jasonblalock.com Content/Trigger Warnings: sexual assault, molestation, suicidal ideation, alcohol and drug abuse, addiction, mental illness, domestic abuse, suicide attempt, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: The Zebra: thezebra.com/happening; Betterhelp: betterhelp.com/happening; Lending TreeSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Union Flow” - Spuntic ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Nov 16

52 min 50 sec

“I honestly think that if the mom I grew up with hadn’t given me such a great sense of self-esteem, I don’t think I would have lasted as long under this current strange mother that I was now stuck with.” Today’s episode featured Wren Feeney. Wren lives her life surrounded by pets and people who love her, and yet spends her free time writing horror. If you'd like to read her work, or just reach out and say hi, visit wrenfeeney.com for stories and contact information. Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpisode Summary: A woman’s happy childhood with her single mother unexpectedly takes a bewildering, dark turn, leading to a moment that will change everythingSocial Media:This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Jason Blalock: www.jasonblalock.com Content/Trigger Warnings: alcoholism, child neglect, sexual solicitation of a minor, suicidal thoughts, suicide, graphic violence, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Acorn TV: acorn.tv, code HAPPENING; Uncommon Goods: uncommongoods.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Re-Entry” – Lee Rosevere ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Nov 9

55 min 26 sec

During the 1-900 number craze of the Nineties, one company provided the vast majority of phone sex. American Telnet was an empire founded by the man who called himself “The Telephone Pimp.” He ran the company “like General Motors” and got filthy rich doing it. But for the (mostly) women who answered the calls and delivered fantasies 24-7, it was a different story. The powerful stigma against sex work was always lurking just beneath the surface, until it threatened to tear apart the whole company. Hosted by Tina Horn (Why Are People Into That?), OPERATOR is an eight-part series about big ambitions, Shakespearean-level corporate backstabbing, men and women at the cutting edge of a technological revolution...and on the front lines of a sexual one.Listen to Operator at http://wondery.fm/OP_TIAHSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Nov 8

5 min 47 sec

“I kept thinking there’s no way that God is going to let this happen to me…What could I have done in my life to deserve what’s going on right now.” Today’s episode features Jessie Bains. If you’d like to contact her, you can reach out at jbains21@gmail.com. Producers: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A woman growing up in a sheltered life with conservative parents is taken from her driveway one night and led into a darkness she never could have fathomed.Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comContent/Trigger Warnings: kidnapping, rape, violent sexual assault, graphic violence, graphic sexual imagery, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Storyworth: storyworth.com, code HAPPENING; Simplisafe: simplisafe.com/actuallySupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Ambient Themes by Nigel Coutinho ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Nov 2

59 min 31 sec

“It was like I was in a whole other universe for like five to ten minutes just walking around, like I couldn’t function, I didn’t know what to do.” Today’s episode featured Miles. You can reach out to Miles by emailing him at Miles1357@yahoo.com. Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpisode Summary: A man searches for healing after his father, a disgruntled post office worker, falls into a violent downward spiral.Website for Jason Blalock: jasonblalock.com Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Content/Trigger Warnings: suicide, mental illness, graphic violent imagery, workplace abuse, sexual harassment, explicit languageWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Uncommon Goods: uncommongoods.com/happening; Hunter Douglas: hunterdouglas.com/happening; ID Tech:idtech.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Cylinder Four/Five” – Chris Zabriskie ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Oct 19

53 min 33 sec

“Your whole sense of reality has been shaken so much that you question what is even real any more.” Today's episode featured Melissa. You can find more about her on Instagram @littleredmeli or on Medium, https://medium.com/@littleredmeli Producers: Whit Missildine, Matt VollaEpisode Summary: Growing up in the Mormon church, a woman follows a structured path to love and marriage, but what hides underneath threatens to unravel everything she’s built.Website for Matt Volla: www.mattvolla.com Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusContent/Trigger Warnings: sexual abuse, sexual assault, suicidal ideation, explicit languageEpisode Sponsors: Acorn TV: acorn.tv Promo Code HAPPENING; Lending TreeSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Union Flow” - Spuntic ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Oct 12

55 min 57 sec

“The best way I can explain how it feels to not be believed is just profound loneliness…To not know where to turn to seek advice or to get a hug, I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Matt VollaEpisode Summary: After her parents’ divorce a girl’s relationship with her mother tailspins until a shocking accusation throws everything into chaos.Website for Matt Volla: www.mattvolla.com Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusContent/Trigger Warnings: domestic abuse, parental abuse, mental illness, attempted murder, alcoholism, addiction, explicit languageEpisode Sponsors: Betterhelp: betterhelp.com/happening; The Zebra: thezebra.com/happening; GoodRX: goodrx.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Uncertain Outcomes/Embers” – SkyeVoyager https://linktr.ee/SkyeVoyager ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Oct 5

55 min 28 sec

Producers: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: Whit Missildine, host of This Is Actually Happening and The Long Shadow, and Dan Taberski, host of Missing Richard Simmons and 9/12, discuss 9/11 and their approaches to their respective series honoring the tragedy.Today, as part of our series, The Long Shadow, honoring the 20th anniversary of September 11th, we bring you an interview between me and Dan Taberski. Dan is the host of the podcast Missing Richard Simmons, Running from Cops, and, most recently, The Line. His new show is called 9/12, and the series is about what happened after 9/11: How 9/11 the day became 9/11 the idea, and how that idea has shaped the world, our culture, and ourselves for the past 20 years. While my series focuses on the deep personal histories, experiences of the day itself, and the long aftermath for people who have experienced the tragedy up close, Dan’s series takes a sweeping look at the cultural, social, political and conspiratorial implications of 9/11 and what it means for us today.Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusSupport the Show:Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happeningEngage with the Community:Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/Shop at the Store:The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Sep 30

42 min 48 sec

“The surrealism of the experience just it was hard to fathom…here we were in a clothing store being asked to do these sort of impossible thing.” Producers: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: In the aftermath of September 11th, 2001 a cardiologist volunteers to help process the body parts from those who lost their lives in a temporary morgue inside a Brooks Brothers department store.Today’s episode featured Sandeep Jauhar. Sandeep has written three books. His first book, "Intern: A Doctor's Initiation," "Doctored: The Disillusionment of an American Physician," and his latest book, "Heart: A History," tells the colorful and little-known story of the doctors who risked their careers and the patients who risked their lives to know and heal our most vital organ. A practicing cardiologist, Jauhar is currently a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times. He has appeared frequently on National Public Radio, CNN, and MSNBC to discuss issues related to medicine, and his essays have also been published in The Wall Street Journal, Time, and Slate. To learn more about him and his work, visit his website at http://sandeepjauhar.com or follow him on Twitter: @sjauhar.Twenty Years after the attacks of September 11th changed the world as we knew it, this month the This Is Actually Happening podcast dives deep into the stories of four survivors whose jobs brought them face to face with the unthinkable. For those called to manage an impossible tragedy up close, the events of September 11th represented a uniquely horrifying challenge. Among the harrowing details of that day, in the special series, we explore the long shadows of trauma and resilience that continue to inform the looming uncertainties that remain with us today. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusContent/Trigger Warnings: terrorism, graphic bodily injury, graphic medical scenarios, explicit languageEpisode Sponsors: DoorDash; Simplisafe: simplisafe.com/actuallySupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic and Sound Design by: Marcelino Villalpando  ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Sep 28

53 min 56 sec

“You try not to think about the fact that you really think you’re going to die here…that it’s totally out of control.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsEpisode Summary: On September 11th, 2001, the first female firefighter in the New York City Fire Department confronts the impossible tasks of that day and the skewed narratives that followed.Today's episode featured Captain (ret.) Brenda Berkman. Since her retirement from the New York City Fire Department in 2006, Brenda serves as a volunteer guide at the 9/11 Memorial, is Vice-President for Programs for the women’s history organization Monumental Women (monumentalwomen.org) and pursues her passion for printmaking, specializing in stone lithography. You can see her artwork at www.brendaberkmanartworks.com.Twenty Years after the attacks of September 11th changed the world as we knew it, this month the This Is Actually Happening podcast dives deep into the stories of four survivors whose jobs brought them face to face with the unthinkable. For those called to manage an impossible tragedy up close, the events of September 11th represented a uniquely horrifying challenge. Among the harrowing details of that day, in the special series, we explore the long shadows of trauma and resilience that continue to inform the looming uncertainties that remain with us today. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: http://andrdewwaits.com/ Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Better Help: betterhelp.com/happening; Lending TreeSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: terrorism, death, graphic violence, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic and Sound Design by: Marcelino Villalpando ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Sep 21

55 min 11 sec

“It’s not like there was time to ponder your fate…you just thought, we’re powerless to get out of the building….This is it.” Producers: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A Port Authority employee narrowly escapes from the 68th floor after a plane hits the World Trade Center on September 11th, 2001, but the most devastating impact comes from the psychological wounds that haunt her life for decades after. Today's episode featured Kayla Bergeron. In addition to serving as chief of public and government affairs for The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, Kayla has also served in senior roles for the New York State Housing Finance Agency and South Florida Water Management District, the lead agency restoring America's Everglades. Kayla currently resides in Suwanne, Georgia and serves as Program Director, and as a Certified Peer Support Specialist -Addictive Disease (C.P.S.- A.D.), for The Connection Forsyth, a 501c3 non profit recovery community organization, based in Cumming, Georgia. Kayla works as a social media consultant for Special Equestrians of Georgia, in Milton, Georgia, also a 501c3 non profit, where she participates in equine-assisted therapy.Kayla recently started a gofundme for Special Equestrians of Georgia, where she receives equine-assisted therapy for PTSD. Last year, Special Equestrians of Georgia (SEG), based in Milton, GA, had to close down its hippotherapy program due to COVID-19 and safety concerns. As a result, many of the horses had to be rehomed. Currently, SEG provides equine-assisted therapy for teens and adults with mental health challenges, including depression, PTSD, anxiety and trauma. With COVID-19 Delta variant hovering, Special Equestrians of Georgia may be forced to shut down its doors -- for good. It costs approximately $3,000 to fund the program, which includes feeding and special dietary needs, farrier, veterinarian, medicine and facility maintenance. Please help by donating to Special Equestrians of Georgia.This episode is part of a special, four-part series called The Long Shadow. Twenty Years after the attacks of September 11th changed the world as we knew it, this month the This Is Actually Happening podcast dives deep into the stories of four survivors whose jobs brought them face to face with the unthinkable. For those called to manage an impossible tragedy up close, the events of September 11th represented a uniquely horrifying challenge. Among the harrowing details of that day, we explore the long shadows of trauma and resilience that continue to inform the looming uncertainties that remain with us today. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: DoorDashSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: violence, sexual assault, injury, terrorism, mention of suicide, alcoholism, addiction, mental illness explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic and Sound Design by: Marcelino Villalpando ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Sep 14

55 min 2 sec

“The world looks like it’s coming to an end, and another cloud comes over…Everything goes dark, and the world is covered in dust.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsEpisode Summary: On September 11th, 2001 an ER Doctor finds himself in charge of the closest emergency room to the Twin Towers.Today's episode featured Tony Dajer. Tony was born in New York City, grew up in Puerto Rico, and has been practicing as an ER Doctor in New York for 30 years. You can read one of Tony's articles called "Vital Signs" featured in Discover Magazine at www.discovermagazine.com/health/vital-signs-37.This episode is part of a special, four-part series called The Long Shadow. Twenty Years after the attacks of September 11th changed the world as we knew it, this month the This Is Actually Happening podcast dives deep into the stories of four survivors whose jobs brought them face to face with the unthinkable. For those called to manage an impossible tragedy up close, the events of September 11th represented a uniquely horrifying challenge. Among the harrowing details of that day, we explore the long shadows of trauma and resilience that continue to inform the looming uncertainties that remain with us today. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: http://andrdewwaits.com/Special Thanks: To all who helped make this series happen - Ellen Westberg, Andrew Waits, Marcelino Villalpando, Gabriella Quintana, Emily Caldwell, and Jason Blalock.  Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: GoodRX: goodrx.com/happening; Lending TreeSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: violence, graphic bodily injury, terrorism, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic and Sound Design by: Marcelino Villalpando ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Sep 7

57 min 48 sec

“There’s really no way to explain how it feels when you realize one decision you made in an instant altered the life of everyone around you.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: A woman who finally finds her sense of purpose after a tumultuous upbringing realizes a mother’s ultimate horror.Website for Andrew Waits: http://andrdewwaits.com/ Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Simplisafe: simplisafe.com/actuallySupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: domestic violence, drug use, alcoholism, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, self harm, infant death, graphic injury, sexual assault, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Re-Entry” – Lee Rosevere ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Aug 31

54 min 58 sec

“All the reality that I had been putting off, and all of the denial, it all crashed in on me.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpisode Summary: Growing up in the closet with a mentally ill mother, a man finds his true love, but as their past continues to weigh in, the only remedy he knows threatens to consume everything he’s built.Today's episode featured Gabriel. Gabriel is now a psychiatric social worker and licensed therapist in Orange County, California. You can find out more about Gabriel on Instagram @gabriel.emmm. Website for Jason Blalock: www.jasonblalock.com Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Best Fiends, Lending Tree, BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: drug abuse, drug addiction, opioids, overdose, death, suicide, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Ambient Themes by Nigel Coutinho ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Aug 24

1 hr 2 min

“I was too ashamed to reach out and say, ‘Look, I don’t understand what’s happening, I think I’m going crazy…please help me.’” Producers: Whit Missildine, Matt VollaEpisode Summary: Following early experiences of isolation and bullying, a man assigned female at birth finds a beautiful friendship, that soon descends into a bewildering cycle of gaslighting and obsession.    Today's episode featured Vel Ryder. You can find out more about Vel on Twitter and Instagram @whiskeyandspite. Website for Matt Volla: www.mattvolla.com Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Upstart: upstart.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: suicidal thinking, mental illness, gaslighting, psychological abuse, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Uncertain Outcomes/Embers” – SkyeVoyager https://linktr.ee/SkyeVoyager  ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Aug 17

57 min 59 sec

“When I knew I was dying, I knew that I wasn’t going to have the anxiety or the OCD brain, it was just going to be over.” Producers: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A woman with severe harm OCD encounters the many faces of death and dying but finds renewal in caring for others and ultimately herselfToday's episode featured Rachel. You can find out more about her on Facebook at fb.com/RachelHillestad. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: GoodRX: goodrx.com/happening; ThredUp: thredup.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: homicidal thoughts, harm OCD, death, sexual assault, mention of suicide, suicidal thoughts, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Cylinder Four/Five” – Chris Zabriskie ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Aug 10

57 min 55 sec

“That’s me, and I’m dead. But if that’s me, then who am I?” Producers: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: After surviving a brutal upbringing in the South Bronx, a man finds himself on the other side of death following a minor accident and returns with a profound awakening. Today's episode featured Jose Hernandez. You can find out more about Jose and the work he is doing at: https://innerimmersion.org where you can sign up to join the community and participate in the free Monthly conversations, "Evening Joe". To learn more about Jose's art check out his gallery at https://www.josehernandezfineart.com.You can see Jose featured in the Netflix docuseries, "Surviving Death.” If you're interested in learning more about near-death experiences, Jose will be a featured speaker at the IANDS conference this year. IANDS stands for the International Association for Near Death Studies. He will be presenting "Embracing the Masculine: Helping Men make the Shift into the New Paradigm" with Randy Kolibaba, a highly decorated Canadian RCMP officer. IANDS have arranged to offer Jose and Randy's talk free to veterans so if there is a veteran in your life you think could benefit from hearing this talk, please direct them to IANDS and ask for Diane Cocoran  https://iands.org Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plus Episode Sponsors: BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/happening; Simplisafe: simplisafe.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: near death experience, domestic abuse, murder, gruesome violence, suicidal thinking, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Union Flow” - Spuntic ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Aug 3

1 hr 12 min

"No one can even understand. You can't measure the magnitude of that pain. You can't measure the pain that we went through." Producer: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: A refugee recounts her experience of the horror and devastation of the Rwandan genocide. This episode is part of the Summer 2021 rebroadcast series, featuring listener favorites from the back catalogue. All episodes in this rebroadcast series were released prior to episode #130, which are currently exclusive to the Wondery Plus. Today’s episode originally aired as #113 in August 2018Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Upstart: upstart.com/happening; Best FiendsSocial Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: extreme violence, war, genocide, murder, assault, explicit language Intro Music: ""Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed:   "Cylinder Four" - Chris Zabriskie; "Water" - Johannes Welsch ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Jul 27

57 min 33 sec

"The hardest part is that I still don't have any answers...what came into my house that night?" Producer: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: A musician is sideswiped by a sudden break into a nightmarish world that will not let him go This episode is part of the Summer 2021 rebroadcast series, featuring listener favorites from the back catalogue. All episodes in this rebroadcast series were released prior to episode #130, which are currently exclusive to the Wondery Plus. Today’s episode originally aired as #103 in November 2017Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Caliper: trycaliper.com/happening; Grove: grove.co/happening; ThredUp: thredup.com/happeningSocial Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: sexual violence, hallucination, explicit language Intro Music: ""Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed:   Original Score & Sound Design: Ryan Black - ryanblack.io ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Jul 20

54 min 13 sec

“It’s almost as if like I could feel my whole self just changing at this point and just changing in the way that I trust people…and questioning myself and everything.” Producer: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: After a chaotic upbringing, a man assigned female at birth finds a new community with caring mentors, when their mental illness threatens to unravel his entire reality. This episode is part of the Summer 2021 rebroadcast series, featuring listener favorites from the back catalogue. All episodes in this rebroadcast series were released prior to episode #130, which are currently exclusive to the Wondery Plus. Today’s episode originally aired as #124 in January 2019 Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Literati: literati.com/happening; BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/happeningSocial Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: mental illness, treats of violence, explicit language Intro Music: ""Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed:   "Re-Entry” – Lee Rosevere ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Jul 13

55 min 10 sec

“It’s almost like you can’t stand the meaninglessness of the situation, and so you justify it by saying ‘well this must be all my fault.'” Producer: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: A woman recounts her childhood dealing with a mentally ill father obsessed with Disneyland. This episode is part of the Summer 2021 rebroadcast series, featuring listener favorites from the back catalogue. All episodes in this rebroadcast series were released prior to episode #130, which are currently exclusive to the Wondery Plus. Today’s episode originally aired as #79 in September, 2016. Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Grove Collaborative: grove.co/happening; Upstart: upstart.com/happening; Best Fiends Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: mental illness, explicit language Intro Music: ""Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed:   "Re-Entry” – Lee Rosevere ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Jul 6

41 min 23 sec

“All of a sudden within a hundred meters of your house that’s where the worst thing happens and suddenly the world becomes different…you can’t go back to who you were.” Producer: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: A man is relentlessly stalked by his girlfriend's ex. This episode is part of the Summer 2021 rebroadcast series, featuring listener favorites from the back catalogue. All episodes in this rebroadcast series were released prior to episode #130, which are currently exclusive to the Wondery Plus. Today’s episode originally aired as #114 in August, 2018.Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: GoodRX: goodrx.com/happening; Literati: literati.com/happening; ThredUp: thredup.com/happening Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: stalking, attempted murder, explicit language Intro Music: ""Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed:   "Re-Entry” – Lee Rosevere ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Jun 29

54 min 35 sec

“It was just full chills over my body, tears in my eyes, it was that moment of I don’t know, I don’t understand, I don’t know.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpisode Summary: A woman who seeks awakening through myriad healing practices finds her ultimate challenge when she goes missing in a Maui forest. Today's episode featured Dr. Amanda Eller. You can find out more about Amanda by going to AmandaEllerPT.com. You can also find her on Instagram: @amandaeellerAnd on Facebook: @amandaeeller. Amanda is currently living on the island of Maui and is offering her healing services to both the local and global community through in-person and online sessions.   Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningShow Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Jason Blalock: https://jasonblalock.com Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plus Episode Sponsors: BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/happening; Ancient Nutrition: ancientnutrition.com, promo code: HAPPENINGSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happeningEngage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: near death, eating disorder, body dysmorphia, hallucinations, explicit language  Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Re-Entry” – Lee Rosevere ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Jun 22

1 hr 12 min

“The not knowing is awful, and it’s awful from day one and it’s awful thirty years later, but every day that goes by you get more and more in reality.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpisode Summary: Decades after her brother disappeared in the early 1980s, a woman becomes deeply involved in the search for a missing friend.   Today’s episode featured Sarah Haynes. Somebody out there knows something about her brother Jon Haynes, who went missing in Boulder July 1981 just days after arriving for college. If you know anything, please contact the Boulder police department. There is a $10,000 reward for info leading to his body, his car, or for information about who may have harmed him https://apps.colorado.gov/apps/coldcase/casedetail.html?id=258 Sarah’s Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/sarahspitfire  Her animal sanctuary on Maui is called Kitty Charm Farm and the Facebook page is:https://www.facebook.com/KittyCharmFarm Website for Jason Blalock: https://jasonblalock.com Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plus Episode Sponsors: Lord Jones: lordjones.com/happening; Upstart: upstart.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: missing person, abusive threats, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Ambient Themes by Nigel Coutinho ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Jun 15

1 hr 1 min

“It planted a seed in my mind that has never ever gone away even now that people might not be who they say they are.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: A woman is haunted by a relentless threat of danger when her pursuit of safety turns into obsession.Today’s episode featured Hannah. Hannah is a writer living in California. If you’d like to reach out, you can email her at hannahwrites08@gmail.com Website for Andrew Waits: http://andrdewwaits.com/ Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Simplisafe: simplisafe.com/actually; ThredUp: thredup.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: domestic abuse, mention of suicide, mention of murder, criminal activity, sexual assault, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Uncertain Outcomes/Embers” – SkyeVoyager https://linktr.ee/SkyeVoyager ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Jun 8

1 hr 3 min

“I felt like I was sort of drifting along as something besides human, like I had stepped onto another planet inside my head.” Producers: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: A man haunted by an early childhood trauma finally establishes his own identity only to be sideswiped by another unwanted, shocking exposure. This episode featured Michael McAllister. He's a writer working on a book-length memoir, and you can find out more about him at his blog, dogpoet.com, or on Instagram at @dogpoetmike. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Betterhelp: betterhelp.com/happening; Ancient Nutrition: ancientnutrition.com, code HAPPENINGSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: sexual assault, child molestation, suicidal ideation, terminal illness, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Cylinder Four/Five” – Chris Zabriskie ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Jun 1

1 hr 6 min

“You are in absolute darkness, and until you are in that kind of situation it’s hard to understand what darkness is.” Producers: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: A lifelong traveler heads out for a quick bike ride in the Swiss Alps and finds herself lost in a dark, icy unknown.Today's episode featured Ava Chisling. Ava is a media lawyer and writer from Montreal. You can find out more about her on her website, avachisling.com. Waiting for herd immunity before she can travel again, Ava is hard at work in her hometown, where her chances of getting lost are only 53%. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Upstart: upstart.com/happening; June’s JourneySupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: mention of suicide, near death, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Union Flow” - Spuntic ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

May 25

48 min 54 sec

“The person who was pulling was just stronger than the person who wanted a perfect life.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: Growing up with a close, religious family a young woman’s aspiration for perfect beauty turns her into the very image of herself she was afraid of. Today’s episode featured Caroline. To learn more about Trichotillomania, go to www.bfrb.org. There you can find additional information about Trichotillomania and other body-focused repetitive behaviors, as well as support groups and helpful resources. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: www.andrdewwaits.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: ThredUp: thredup.com/happening; Lord Jones: lordjones.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: body dysmorphia, trichotillomania, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Re-Entry” – Lee Rosevere ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

May 18

39 min 12 sec

“I was really lost and I was so incredibly desperate for someone to love me…and to fill the void that had kind of been opened in me .” Producers: Whit Missildine, Matt Volla Episode Summary: Following an early childhood trauma, a woman seeks to fill the void with a series of unhealthy relationships, until a fairytale romance promises to be everything she ever wanted Today's guest prefers to remain anonymous, but if you'd like to reach out to her directly, you can email at HerSavePoint@gmail.com, or connect on Discord at HerSavePoint#5365. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Matt Volla: www.mattvolla.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Betterhelp: betterhelp.com/happening; Simplisafe: simplisafe.com/actuallySupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: childhood trauma, childhood sexual assault, rape, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Ambient Themes by Nigel Coutinho ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

May 11

49 min 47 sec

“That feeling that you get when you find out an important piece of information, that ‘aha moment’ was happening constantly. I felt as if somebody put my brain into a microwave.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: Growing up in a home of abandonment and neglect, a teenager finds a grand, new reality in the rabbit hole of addiction until they can no longer find their way back. Today’s guest prefers to remain anonymous, but if you’d like to reach out to them, you can email at artichoke.heart456@gmail.com Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: www.andrdewwaits.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Upstart: upstart.com/happening; June’s JourneySupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: psychosis, drug use, child neglect, childhood trauma, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Enter the Lair/Drone” – SkyeVoyager https://linktr.ee/SkyeVoyager ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

May 4

51 min 17 sec

“I was just left fighting this invisible thing inside me, the root of which I didn’t know.” Producers: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: A woman grows up with an idyllic childhood in Scotland, when a phobia of mysterious origin begins consuming her thoughts and eventually her future Today’s episode featured Rachel Balcarek. You can find out more about Rachel on Instagram @bearscenario.  Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Ana Luisa: analuisa.com/happeningmd; ThredUp: thredup.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: emetophobia, agoraphobia, panic attacks, depression, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Sk”Cylinder Four/Five” – Chris Zabriskie ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Apr 27

55 min 18 sec

“In horror movies there’s this beautiful moment for the protagonist where the monster’s real, everyone can see it…but a lot of times in real life, there isn’t a neatly wrapped up ending.”  Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock Episode Summary: A young man growing up in an abusive home falls into a whirlwind romance that throws him into another cycle of chaos Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Jason Blalock: www.jasonblalock.com Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Ana Luisa: analuisa.com/happeningmd; BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: domestic violence, drug use, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Union Flow” - Spuntic ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Apr 20

52 min 30 sec

“I cannot get over the fact that this actually happened. It felt strangely prophetic.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: Growing up with an unreliable mother, a woman develops severe OCD with multiple phobias, until she must confront the most improbable scenario Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Andrew Waits Website: andrdewwaits.com/ Episode Sponsors: Simplisafe: simplisafe.com/actually; Upstart: upstart.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: OCD, obsessive thoughts, health anxiety, cancer, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Uncertain Outcomes/Embers” – SkyeVoyager https://linktr.ee/SkyeVoyager ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Apr 13

48 min 51 sec

“I was forced into being vulnerable, I was forced into being present, I was forced into existing suddenly with my lights turned on.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Sara Marinelli Episode Summary: Grappling with her identity and disruptive health anxiety, a woman reaches in adulthood with a dream job and strong community, when suddenly her worst-case scenario becomes a reality.Today's episode featured Natalia Provatas. Natalia is a Writer from Los Angeles. You can find out more about her on Instagram @chola4hire, and on her website, nataliaprovatas.com. Since we recorded this episode, Natalia's treatment has been going well, she is living independently again and working on her Memoir Ghosting My Death Doula, a series of funny essays about her battle with breast cancer.   Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Sara Marinelli Website: www.saramarinelli.comEpisode Sponsors: ThredUp: thredup.com; Green Chef: greenchef.com/90happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: graphic medical descriptions, near death experience, cancer, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Re-Entry” – Lee Rosevere ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Apr 6

53 min 41 sec

“No matter how hard you fight against having no change in your life, it’s going to come anyway.” Producers: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: Growing up in an environment of constant change, a woman vows to find a different path to stability, only to have a shocking revelation turn her world upside down Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Episode Sponsors: BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: suicidal ideation, domestic abuse, child neglect, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Ambient Themes by Nigel Coutinho ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Mar 30

56 min 6 sec

“If you could imagine having thoughts that frightened you, then other times they made you believe things about your perception or what you were seeing weren’t real or distorted…you would do anything to stop it.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Matt Volla Episode Summary: After making a successful career and surviving several tumultuous relationships, a woman descends into the darkest depths of severe mental illnessToday’s episode featured Melissa. You can find out more about her on her website, ifnotnowthenwhen.website/, which is still in progress, but which she hopes to create as a resource for others with similar struggles.Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Matt Volla: mattvolla.comEpisode Sponsors: Candid: candidco.com/happening; Upstart: upstart.com/happening; Care/Of: takecareof.com code HAPPENINGSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: mental illness, suicide attempt, sexual assault, psychosis, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Cylinder Four/Five” – Chris Zabriskie ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Mar 23

54 min 21 sec

“I close my eyes even to this day reliving it over and over in my head like, ‘Did that really happen?’ I wasn’t for sure that it was really real.” Producer: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: A mother struggles to raise her child through a series of chaotic relationships, when one day, as her daughter’s mental illness spirals out of control, an unthinkable decision will change their lives forever Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com/Episode Sponsors: ThredUp: thredUP.com/happening; Simplisafe: simplisafe.com/actually; Babbel: babble.com – code HAPPENING; Calibrate: joincalibrate.com – code HAPPENINGSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link actuallyhappeningstore.com to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: mental illness, self-harm, sexual abuse, suicide attempt, car accident, near death experience, severe injury, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Union Flow” – Spuntic ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Mar 16

51 min 23 sec

“I just kept saying ‘I don’t know, I’m sorry, I don’t know, it’s all my fault. I can’t believe I just did that,’… I’m in disbelief.” Producer: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: After a traumatic childhood, a young woman spirals into mental illness and in her darkest moment makes an unthinkable decision that will change her family forever Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com/Episode Sponsors: BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/HAPPENING; Candid: candidco.com/HAPPENINGSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link actuallyhappeningstore.com to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: mental illness, alcoholism, self-harm, sexual abuse, rape, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, car accident, near death experience, severe injury, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Re-Entry” – Lee Rosevere ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Mar 9

1 hr

“Time just did not exist, the only thing that existed was decisions.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock Episode Summary: A young woman’s first trip to reconnect with her homeland in Ethiopia takes a terrifying turn as hijackers take over an otherwise routine flight Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Jason Blalock: www.jasonblalock.comEpisode Sponsors: Audible: audible.com/happening; Upstart: upstart.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link www.actuallyhappeningstore.com to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: hijacking, death, gun violence, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Ambient Themes by Nigel Coutinho ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Mar 2

43 min 11 sec

“I saw myself in the mirror, and it was like seeing a CGI character…I’m sitting here looking at this frail person that looks nothing like me.” Producer: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: A horrific accident leaves a man severely disabled, but after hitting rock bottom in his recovery a new life opens he could never have imagined Today’s episode featured Dustin Reynolds. Since this interview, Dustin has made it down to Colombia, and is planning on heading to Panama, Galapagos, and Polynesia before returning to Hawaii. To find out more about Dustin, see pictures and follow his journey or donate to help him complete the voyage, go to thesinglehandedsailor.com. You can follow him on Instagram and Facebook @thesinglehandedsailor. You can also support him on Patreon and GoFundMe: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thesinglehandedsailorGoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/hngchb-support-the-single-handed-sailor Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Andrew Waits: http://andrdewwaits.com/Episode Sponsors: Care/Of: takecareof.com, HAPPENING50; ThredUp: thredup.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link www.actuallyhappeningstore.com to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: car crash, severe injury, amputation, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Cylinder Four/Cylinder Five” - Chris Zabriskie ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Feb 23

55 min 34 sec

“Will I ever be able to be one of them ever again, or am I just like an alien now?” Producer: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: A woman finally escapes the trauma of her mother’s mental illness only to find a new, more horrifying monster in the very place she finds respite Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comEpisode Sponsors: BetterHelp – betterhelp.com/happening; Simplisafe – simplisafe.com/actually; Babbel – Babbel.com - HAPPENINGSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link www.actuallyhappeningstore.com to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: mental illness, domestic abuse, violence, child neglect, rape, sexual assault, suicide, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Union Flow” - Spuntic ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Feb 16

1 hr 1 min

“I felt like my brain was in Saran Wrap…you’re just not all there.” Producer: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: Having adapted to the challenges of growing up with cerebral palsy, a woman is sideswiped into a new life after a crash she can’t remember changes everything. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Andrew Waits: http://andrdewwaits.com/ Episode Sponsors: Candid - candidco.com/happening; Upstart - upstart.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link www.actuallyhappeningstore.com to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: car crash, traumatic brain injury, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Re-Entry” – Lee Rosevere ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Feb 9

43 min 54 sec

“I was asleep. Everything I was going through was not real, and it’s just this very convincing feeling that you’re right about this” Producer: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A woman develops a severe eating disorder that lands her in intensive psychiatric care, where an extreme treatment program traps her in an alternate reality from which she cannot escape. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link www.actuallyhappeningstore.com to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: mental illness, eating disorder, psychosis, child abuse, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Ambient Themes by Nigel Coutinho ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Feb 2

49 min 33 sec

“They were there to remind me who I was in the world, and it hurt too much on the inside, being hurt on the outside didn’t matter as much.” Producer: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: A man’s rage grows after growing up with racism and abuse, leading to transformative encounters with brutality, violence and ultimately, inner strength. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Andrew Waits: http://andrdewwaits.com/ Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link www.actuallyhappeningstore.com to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: racism, racially charged language, violence, police brutality, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Cylinder Four/Cylinder Five” – Chris Zabriskie ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Jan 26

50 min 47 sec

“The hardest part about the whole thing is just not knowing; for a few hours that night I wasn’t me and that’s terrifying.” Producer: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A woman answers a Craigslist ad for a job and ends up on a harrowing night that doesn’t add upSocial Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happeningEngage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link www.actuallyhappeningstore.com to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. Content/Trigger Warnings: mental illness, racism, violence, murder, police brutality, explicit languageIntro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Re-Entry” – Lee Rosevere ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Jan 19

57 min 52 sec

“You just think this is a nightmare, and then you realize nope this is my life, this is real.”Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsEpisode Summary: A mother faces the ultimate tragedy at the hands of those who are supposed to protect and serve.  Today’s episode featured Taun Hall. To find out more about Taun and Miles and the Miles Hall Foundation, go to justiceformileshall.org. There you can see the video mentioned in the episode, donate to the campaign, learn more about the case or get involved. You can also join the community on Instagram @justiceformileshall or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/justiceformileshallSocial Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comAndrew Waits: http://andrdewwaits.com/Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happeningEngage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link https://www.teepublic.com/stores/this-is-actually-happening-store?ref_id=9467 to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. Content/Trigger Warnings: mental illness, racism, violence, murder, police brutality, explicit languageIntro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Re-Entry” – Lee Rosevere ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

E

Jan 12

48 min 28 sec