Well, we’re back from our election trip, and everything is terrible. But we’re kicking this episode off with a soothing meditation session to help you ugly cry those election woes out. Speaking of the election, we’re taking a break from politics this week. Sorry not sorry. We share stories of our adventures in DC, and Laura’s harrowing tale of being bullied by a second grader brings on the feels. Fantastic Beauty and the Beasts starring Hermione Granger coming to a theater near you! New from JKR: Andrew Sims and the Prisoner of Glowing Japanese Toilets. Apart from electing Orange Hitler, the US fails in other ways: tales of sugar addiction and lack of butt hoses (for that nice clean feeling!). Lauren from Dallas actually answered her phone, so we’ll be “surprising” her exclusively from this point forward. And in this week’s After Dark: Call it a Facebook Newsfeed, they said. It won’t negatively impact the election at all, they said. “Hillary Clinton drinks the blood of puppies and bathes in stem-cell baths daily.” We report - you share to your racist cousin’s wall like a fucking idiot. Is this really happening?