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How To Negotiate With Skill, Not Force

By | Andrew Fiebert and Matt Giovanisci

Learning how to negotiate is not just a nice to have skill – it’s critical. Everything from your salary to your purchases to even your relationship requires it. Here we break it down for you and give you the knowledge you need to hit the ground running. Perhaps the most important thing you need to understand is that most successful negotiations come with skill and practice, not force. We’re not going to show you how to strong arm your opponent or debate them into submission. Instead we’ve created an epic resource with everything you need to know to get what you want and walk away from the table with everyone happy. Podcast Episode Want to learn but would rather do it during your morning drive or while you’re working? Give this episode a listen, it’s pretty awesome. (show note links are at the very bottom of the article) Negotiation Vs Bartering Before we jump into it we think it’s important to discuss the difference between negotiation and bartering. There tends to be a lot of confusion around the two. It comes down to knowing your goal and having the right approach. Negotiation: This is not about winning. It’s about achieving your goal or objective. It’s not an argument but a constructive discussion. Since success is measured by achieving your goal or objective it’s then easy to eliminate certain approaches immediately. We’ll get into them later in the article. Bartering: This is also not about winning. It’s about exchanging your commodity or service for something of comparable value with a minimum effort or time commitment.  Right off the bat we’ve taken two big departures from negotiation. You don’t want to work too hard or spend too much time here. If you have a fruit stand at a fair you may barter with potential buyers. However, if you’re selling (or buying) a car you’re negotiating. Bartering is about value where as negotiation is about something much larger. The 7 Core Negotiation Tactics There are a few key things you need to keep in mind for a successful negotiation. While some may seem immediately obvious we really encourage you to read deeper. Because negotiation is about achieving a win-win situation and not a win-lose situation it’s really important to keep these core principles in mind – and refine them over time.  If you ignore following a strong approach you’re at best opening yourself up to a less than optimal deal and at worse looking at no deal at all. Come Prepared You might have heard the saying “Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight.” Well, the same idea applies here. You’re not going to go to a car dealership and purchase a car originally having no idea how much it costs or what its positives/negative attributes are. The same applies to all negotiations. If you’re looking to get a raise, do you know how much other people with your skill set and background get paid? We talk about price anchors in the episode and this is a great place to use them. Head over to sites like Glassdoor or Payscale and do your research. Site’s like will also show you a data-driven aggregate of what they’ve seen people make for the position you have (or want). Use resources like these to ground yourself in reality, improve the chances of your success and logic for how you’ve approached your position. Remember, you’re looking for a win-win outcome. For a negotiation that’s a bit more nuanced like a big purchase you need to understand the value you’re getting, the main features as well as the weaknesses.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

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