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By Edafe Okporo

My name is Edafe Okporo a self-Identified gay man from Nigeria, I lived in a country that almost make it humanly impossible to be gay. In 2014 the government of Nigeria passed a law that criminalizes same sex by 14 years imprisonment, yet I still remain gay anyway, because being gay to me is not something I could have changed or afford to live without. So I came out as gay, being outed as a gay man put my life in danger and I had to flee. Today celebrating pride as a free man means the world to me and I want to help younger queer people understand some things I wish I knew as a young gay man. DISCLAIMER YOU DON’T HAVE TO COME OUT IF YOU DON’T FEEL SAFE YET! That being said? 1. COME OUT  You should come out, coming out is lifting a chip of your shoulder. I remember how I felt when I came out as a gay man, it enables me to realize my full potential as a gay man. It made me understand the importance of finding a community and steaking together with them. Although coming out contributed to me losing my country of birth, yet I feel grateful everyday and proud of my decision. 2. SPECTRUM We all live on a spectrum as queer people. So, you don’t have to use labels, sometimes the attachment to labels make it difficult for you to come out. I do not want to be called this or that? Which is fine. Just be yourself however that is? 3. LOVE Find people who love you and confide in them. Sometimes it might just be yourself, good enough, run in the field and scream to yourself. You may not currently have people you love in your life, look for them online or find a community and be a part of it. Family could be biological or chosen, so feel safe to love the people who love you and make them part of your life. 4. HATERS There is always going to be people who don’t love you for who you are. Polarity exist for one end to exist there have to be another to coexist, White and Black, Christian and Muslims and the list goes on but as Marsha .P. Johnson said “Pay them no mind” Don’t worry about oppressive people they don’t have any power you give them power. 5. LIFE  Life is too long’ this life that is too long. You have an opportunity to be yourself for the rest of it! I rather choose to live life happily for one day, than to be miserable for the rest of it. Bonus You do not need anyone’s permission to live authentically, you need your permission and If you grant yourself that permission you have won. To learn more please visit --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. Support this podcast:


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